Happy Anniversary (Part 3)
Me
The sun had almost set as she made her way through the pathways. She'd
put it off as long as possible. But she knew that she had to come sooner or
later. Stopping at her destination, she looked down.
"Hey. I see he's already been. Sorry about the vase. I didn't mean for
that
vamp to fall on it the other night." Kneeling down, Buffy placed her small
offering next to the larger bunch. "They're not much but Mom's been docking
my allowance to pay for the damage to the car." She looked up guiltily.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned that. What with my Mom and Giles, you
know." She sighed. "I guess I'm just trying to avoid the subject as much as
possible." She gave a half-laugh. "You're dead, and I still can't talk to
you."
Finally succumbing, she knelt down, then leant back. "The thing is, it's
hard.
For him without you. And with Angel back. I know that. We never talk about
it.
We never have. There just didn't seem a need to. But I know what I did to
him. What I took from him." She looked up as if expecting an argument. "I
know what he said. And you. But I am responsible. If I hadn't behaved like
an
infatuated little girl, instead of the sensible slayer I'm meant to be, you'
d still
be alive. And he wouldn't be in so much pain. That's why it was easy to
forgive Angel you see. He wasn't responsible. I was."
Buffy wiped away the silent tears cascading down her face. She didn't notice
the older woman look at her with pity. Nor did she realize that she was no
longer alone at the grave. She'd come for a reason. And that was all that
mattered. "I haven't been here since the funeral because I felt guilty. You
made me feel guilty, even when you were alive. I wanted to punish someone.
And you were the easy target. I've decided to grow up you see. And you
have the honor of being the recipient of my new maturity. Bet you didn't
know
I knew that word." She smiled. The man behind her smiled also.
"He didn't think anybody remembered. That we're all so busy living our
lives,
that we've forgotten the dead. We haven't. I haven't. Willow will remember.
About 10 o'clock tonight. She'll start crying. Oz'll see her. If the Dingoes
are
playing, he'll just stop and go over to her. Xander will be in the middle
of one
of his lame jokes and suddenly realize. Then we'll have about three days of
a
depressed Xander. Believe me, that's worse than a joking Xander." Giles
resisted the urge to chuckle at her quip. "They'll all be here tomorrow. You
'll
have so many visitors, you'll probably wish we would go back to our normal
lives. But it's today isn't it. One year ago tod..." She stopped, unable
to go
on.
Giles knelt behind her, his hand gently resting on her shoulder blades.
"Buffy..."
She turned to him. "I'm so sorry. For everything."
"Shhh." He gave into temptation and did what he'd wanted to do for a long
time. He gathered her in his arms. "Shh. It's all right."
She wept fully now, giving herself the release she hadn't been allowed all
this
time. "I'm sorry. So sorry for the past year."
He rocked her, murmuring soothing sounds, allowing her to pour out her
grief.
"I'm sorry for so many things. Including a lot of what has happened in the
last
twelve months. But not for all of it. And I'll never be sorry for having you
as
my slayer."
"But I hurt you so much."
"You being here now takes all that away." He pulled her from him, taking her
weight with his hands. "Every day you make me proud of you. Prove that I
was right to care for you. But today, I have never felt more proud. We can't
bring her back Buffy. Nor can we make the last year disappear. But we can
let our experiences make us stronger. We have become stronger. Nothing
can pull us apart now. Nothing."
She looked up into his green eyes, seeing not pain or grief, but love and
joy.
Love for her. And she finally found what she'd been looking for.
Absolution.
He was right. They were stronger for it. And their relationship had survived
and grown, in spite of what they'd done to each other. Her hesitant smile
found an answering one of his own. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"We're never gonna mention this again are we?"
His smile grew. "No."
"And we'll probably never hug again."
"Or cry in each other's arms again."
"In fact, we'll probably go back to not really talking to each other at
all."
"Of course. Our relationship will seem to be it's normal superficial self."
" I wouldn't have it any other way."
His "Nor would I" was gentle. As if noticing the outside world once again,
he
looked around. "Oh dear. It's getting dark."
"Well, I guess that means I have to get back to work." They stood up
together. Buffy looked down at the grave. "Bye Miss Calendar. I'll look
after
him for you. See you next year." She moved a few feet away from him,
allowing his private goodbye.
Giles looked once again at the headstone. "Goodbye Jenny. Thank you for
this final gift. Forgive me if I don't come around as much in the future.
We'll
be moving on soon. Once Buffy finishes High School. But you'll see us both
next year." He turned to go, then hesitated before calling out. "Are you
coming Mrs. Hubble? It's getting dark."
She waved at him. "On my way dear." Miriam Hubble sighed as she watched
the young man walk to the girl then take her outstretched hand. They walked
together confidently, as if they were one. "I don't think we'll be seeing as
much of that young man Hirum. I think he finally found some peace. It was
so
touching to see that sweet girl at the grave. Funny how at that age, you
feel
as if the world is on your shoulders. Looks like they forgave each other in
the
end though. I wouldn't mind hearing their story." She patted the headstone
one last time. "Well, better go. He'll be waiting for me at the gates. He
does
worry so. See you next week Hirum. Don't chase his young lady around the
headstones too much."
A silent figure waited until the cemetery was empty of all humans. He'd
arrived just before the sun had completed its decent, staying within the
shadows. Thus he'd been a witness to the scene between the girl and man.
Now, he moved forward to take their place. He bent to lay his flowers next
to
theirs. A dozen red roses. Bowing his head, he wept. The ground below him
darkened with blood tears. The moonlight lit up the words on the headstone,
highlighting the date of death. Exactly one year ago. In the breeze
whispering
through the trees, he thought he heard the words "Happy Anniversary."
Previous Part
Main Page