Head Full Of Doubts

Ragna

They had slept most of the day, something Buffy thought only vampires did. But it felt good, lying there next to him and feeling his warmth...she'd never really felt that before. Not with someone she loved.

There was Angel of course, she thought as she woke up, lightly touching Riley's sleeping form. He had been her first, something that had ended horribly. But it had been so wonderful, that time.
She hadn't really had any real relationships for the longest time, afterwards. And then...

Groaning, she remembered the brief time with Spike. It hadn't been bad; Spike really was capable of love, and there always had been an attraction between the two of them, but the relationship didn't last. It had started quietly and ended much the same way, on a decent note. No bitterness, no wanting to go back to being hated enemies.

It also ensured Spike's help for a long time, at least.

But nothing had felt even close to what she had felt with Angel. Parker had been a horrible mistake, Scott a total jerk, and then there were the guys she'd dated throughout her freshman year. Even Graham turned out to be not quite a great guy.

But through that relationship, and the total way Riley stood up to Graham after he'd humiliated her, showed her that Riley really did care about her. It wasn't long after that Graham got drunk and spilled about The Initiative.

Buffy had always turned Riley down because she thought he was too normal, and while he was cute, there wasn't anything that really made him stand out. But after finding out his little secret, she saw him in a whole new light.

It didn't help that she stumbled in on him fighting four demons at once, getting his ass whipped, and then saw him get hurt. It chilled her to the bone, and she went postal on those four demons. She thought Riley had been unconscious...

...but he'd seen everything. That was when the talking between them started: no babbling, no run-on sentences and no interruptions. It had been a long talk, but hadn't ended with talking. It had ended with kissing.

And now she laid down next to him, helping to tend his wounds, and she just wanted to hit him upside the head and hurt him and tell him to stop risking his life when she could fight better and would heal faster.

He stirred slightly, opening his eyes. "Good morning?" he asked weakly.

"No, silly. Good evening, I think," she said, rolling over to look at him. He looked so tired, but the smile on his face as he reached out to pull Buffy to him made it all go away. All the pain he had been feeling, all the doubts she had...everything disappeared.

And neither of them noticed the blond vampire sitting in the tree by the window, watching their every move. And wishing very much he was the one in that room, at that moment.
 

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