One Watcher, Weighed And Found Wanting (Part 1)

Theory Queen

[This is what happens when Buffy's new Watcher just doesn't measure
up. Spoilers up to "Bad Girls."]

Part 1
Wesley Wyndham-Price stalked through the library waiting for his
slayer and looking at his watch. She was late. Probably off seeing
that "Angel," that boyfriend of hers, Wesley thought. At least Mr.
Giles wasn't here at the moment, so he didn't have to put up with the
older man's insufferable air of superiority. Wesley was determined to
prove himself a better watcher than Rupert Giles, at the very least.
At most, he might even outdo even Merrick! He was just beginning to
imagine the look on Quentin's face when he was awarded the Tweed
Jacket, the Watcher's Council trophy of outstanding achievement...

"Ah, finally!" he said shortly, as Buffy's businesslike steps
interrupted his reverie. She flounced in and tossed her bag on the
table. "You are exactly twelve minutes late, Buffy. Do you know what
that means?"

"No gold star?" she said flippantly, sitting on the table and kicking
her legs. She'd discovered the night before that this annoyed him,
and she smiled sweetly at him.

Wesley sighed in exasperation. "No, it means you've wasted some
valuable training time!"

Buffy opened up her purse and took out a compact. "That depends," she
said, looking carefully in the mirror to make sure her makeup wasn't
smudged.

"On what, may I ask?"

She closed the compact with an audible snap and put it away. "On
whether you were planning to give me some valuable training. First
time for everything, I always say."

Wesley chose to ignore the remark, and got right to the point. "So,
have you done your homework about the demon Atoz? Will you be ready
to face him next week, if you keep cutting short your training
sessions?"

"My training is fine. I'm working with Faith most days." Buffy said.
"So, any new light to shed? Other than Atoz's mother was feeling
really mean when she named him."

"Uh, new light?" asked Wesley.

"Yeah, like why he's here, what he wants, that sort of thing. The
information Watchers are supposed to research and provide for the
slayer." Buffy snapped her purse shut and slid off her perch on the
table. "But hey, Wes, don't worry your little head about it. There's
plenty of time. After all, he's not due in town until next week,
right?" She stalked out.

"I imagined that she'd just... kill him. What does it matter what he
wants?" said Wesley to the empty room.
*****

That night, as Buffy and Faith danced at the Bronze, they had an
observer. The blond man observed them from the catwalk and began to
smile. "Double your slayers," he murmured, "double your fun!" He
approached the table where Willow sat uncomfortably with Xander. The
boy got up to get another drink, and Spike took that as his cue.

"Hello, Willow," he said. She gasped, and he held up his hand
defensively. "Now, I'm not going to hurt you, luv. Not this time."

"What do you want?" Willow asked nervously.

"Oh, nothing much. Just catching up on old times," he said airily.

"You're not... drunk, are you?"

He laughed. "Not this time, pet. I'm just sort of passing through
and thought I'd drop in and see a few friends ó " His eyes darted
to the figure of the tall, slouching, dark-haired man who had just
come in. " ó and enemies." He finished darkly. He looked quickly at
Willow. "Here, do you know any spells that would give a person boils?
all over his face?"

She shook her head slowly. "Not really. All I know are mostly love
spells, rat spells, and floating pencil spells." She changed the
subject. "So, how's Drusilla? Did you find her?"

Spike reached over and took a sip of Willow's Pepsi. He shrugged.
"Yeah, I found her. She's dead. She was with that chaos demon again
and I sort of lost my head, so she did, too." He took another sip and
handed it back to her. She took it gingerly. "Anyway, why would
anyone go out with someone named ëAtoz,' anyway?"

Faith came back to the table and grinned at Willow. "Hey, Willow,
who's the hottie you were talking to?"

Xander came back at that point, and tried to act casual. "What
hottie?"

Buffy showed up. "There's a hottie? Where?"

"Um... behind you." Willow said, smiling weakly at Angel, who had
followed Buffy over to the table.

Buffy turned. "Ah, so there is. Hello!" Angel's mouth twitched in
what some might have called a smile, if they were feeling generous.

"No way, Willow, you're not getting away that easily," Faith pressed
the issue. "I know I saw you with some gorgeous blond, and you two
were acting pretty friendly, swapping drinks and all. So... spill!"

Willow looked around wildly, but there was no help for it. "Um, yeah,
it was a guy. Only, it wasn't." She looked up somewhat fearfully at
Buffy. "Does it count as a guy if it's a vampire?"

"I certainly hope so," Buffy said, linking her arm with Angel's.
"Someone we know?"

"Spike," Willow said.

"Spike?" demanded Buffy.

"Spike!" Angel grated through his teeth as he caught sight of the
blond vampire in question on the other side of the room, heading out
the door. He started after him, but Willow caught his arm.

"Wait. He said he was just passing through and wasn't going to hurt
anyone. He's visiting friends, he said." Willow explained.

"Friends!" Angel snorted. "All his ëfriends' work for Trick now. He
doesn't have any friends left." He glared at the empty doorway.

Buffy's eyes got very wide for a moment. "Oh, no." She gathered her
things quickly. "I bet I know at least one person he's going to see."

"Who?" Xander asked.

"My mother."

*****

Joyce put on the kettle. Having lived in England for a time, she knew
her guest would probably enjoy a cuppa. She measured the loose tea
into the infuser and filled the mug with hot tap water to warm it up
first.

Spike watched appreciatively. "Joyce, you're the only one on this
side of the pond who can make a decent cup of tea," he told her.

She blushed at the compliment and sat down. "So, how did it go with
Drusilla?" she asked in a motherly fashion. "Buffy said you'd gone to
find her and get her back."

"Badly," Spike admitted. "She was with that chaos demon again and I
lost my temper."

"Did you beat him up?" Joyce asked jokingly, knowing her guest's love
of violence.

"Naw, he got away. I cut Dru's head off, though," he said brightly,
smiling at Joyce.

She closed her eyes and shook her head in mock disapproval. "Spike,
it's unlikely that she's going to forgive you after something like
that."

Their quiet chat was interrupted by Buffy's bursting into the room and
throwing Spike over the table and grabbing him by the throat, much
like last time. Angel followed close behind, and handed Buffy a
stake.

"Spike, how many times do I have to tell you to leave?" Buffy
demanded.

"Buffy, what is that man doing in my house?" Joyce demanded angrily.

"He's just leaving," Buffy said grimly, angling the stake toward
Spike's heart and preparing to plunge it in.

"What are you doing? Give me that, you'll hurt him!" Joyce snatched
the stake from her daughter's hand and pointed it toward Angel.
"Buffy, will you please get off Spike?"

"She doesn't have to," Spike grinned up at the slayer, inordinately
pleased with this turn of events. His words removed the slayer from
his body immediately, and she glared at him. Angel growled.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Buffy asked. "And can I have my
stake back?"

Joyce looked at her daughter. "I'll give you back the stake when you
give me your word not to allow this... this monster into my house
again." She gestured at Angel.

"Not a chance," Buffy said, making a lunge for the stake.

Spike intercepted her, just as quickly. "Uh-uh, slayer. You should
listen to your mum." Buffy backed off, glaring. He smiled
charmingly. "And Angel, didn't she just say you weren't welcome in
this house?"

"That's right, I did," Joyce said. "You can leave now. Buffy, you
stay here," she said as her daughter started to follow Angel to the
door. "I don't want him in my house again, Buffy. Is that clear?"
Buffy started to say something, but Joyce cut her off. "And I don't
want to hear any stories about how he has a soul again. From what Mr.
Giles says, if Angel ever has a nice day, he'll turn into a killer
again."

"What about Spike, mom?" Buffy demanded. "You're the one who's
harboring a dangerous killer now!"

"Now, now, slayer, I was only stopping by to say ëello. Plus I
haven't killed anyone for weeks."

"So you were going to start with my mother?" Buffy said.

"No, no, I'd never touch your mum! What kind of cretin would attack
the slayer's mum? You'd stake my arse in a second! Besides," he
said, smiling a little. "I like your mum. She makes good tea."

"Oh no! The kettle!" Joyce cried as she ran from the room.

Buffy advanced on Spike slowly, a little discomfited that he didn't
back up, but instead stood rock- still and grinned as she invaded his
space. "Why are you here, Spike?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Would you believe I missed you?" Spike asked sardonically.

The slayer rolled her eyes but took a step back away from him. "No.
Mortal enemies, remember? And if you can't remember that, remember
how dubious I am about trusting you."

Spike smiled. "Well, that's not so bad. You started out hating me,
then it was just a violent dislike, and now it's only ambivalence.
You better be careful, or you're going to start liking me soon." He
struck an exaggerated pose. "I know, I know, it's my "bad-boy"
British charm, isn't it?"

Buffy was saved having to answer, which was lucky for her because she
wouldn't have been able to. Her angry sputters merely bordered on
coherency, but didn't actually cross. Joyce chose that opportune
moment to enter bearing a tea tray.

"Here you are, Spike. It's a bit strong ó I hope you don't mind.
Buffy?" She offered a cup to her daughter, who rolled her eyes.

"Mom, I'm not going to sit in here and drink tea with a vampire!"
Buffy informed her.

Joyce picked up a cup. "Well, I am," she said calmly. "Spike, won't
you sit down?"

He grinned and sat, taking a cup of tea. He sipped it slowly, winking
once at the slayer over the rim of the cup. Buffy rolled her eyes.

There was an uncomfortable silence, broken by Joyce. "Buffy, don't
you have to go patrol?"

"What, and leave you here with a bloodsucking demon?" Buffy demanded.

"Look, I've told you I won't hurt her. Now run along, little girl,"
Spike said.

Buffy rolled her eyes and left the house. Angel was waiting outside.
"Hi. I have to go patrol. Can you keep an eye on things here?" she
asked him. He gave his assenting grunt (which differed from his
dissenting grunt not at all) and sat down on the porch as if he was
going to stay awhile. "Thanks," Buffy said.

Next Part

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