Requiem

Melinda Dawney

"The tears I might have shed for your dark fate
grow cold, and turn to tears of hate…"
--Christine Daae to the Phantom
Phantom of the Opera

The Bronze's interior is dark as I enter through the window I've just broken. The club is closed and deserted, as it was the first time Buffy and I fought here. I've chosen this as the setting for our final battle. It is darkly ironic and strangely apropos. This is where I offered her my life once before and she declined, choosing to spare me then. Tonight though, will be different; one of us will die.

Buffy is hunting me. Tonight, finding her mother's grisly remains at the gallery proved to be the final straw. I left her mutilated body arranged within the context of a macabre modern art display. The last battered and abused remnant of Buffy's love for me died then. Her love shattered, its remnants like a delicate piece of crystal that could never be fully restored or repaired. She hates me now, as utterly and completely as we once loved. Ironically, her hate caused the curse to reverse itself again. Once again, my soul is in control of my body.

Such is the nature of this curse, to ensure that my suffering will be eternal. My moment of happiness has cost me dearly, has cost all of us dearly. I have lost my friends, my self-respect and honor, and most precious of all, my lover. Buffy and those friends have paid even more dearly, with their lives and the lives of their loved ones. Buffy, Willow, Giles, and Xander… They have suffered terror, horror, and devastating loss at my hands. Somewhere beneath my unbearable burden of guilt and self-hate, I feel faintly bitter. If only Buffy had fulfilled her duty, and slain me after I first turned...

Tonight, this ends. Here and now. The gypsies wished me to suffer eternally, choosing to inflict guilt from a demon's sins upon an innocent soul. And I suffered, for one hundred long years I endured. Tonight, my suffering ends in the only manner that will truly set both Buffy and me free forever. I have many regrets, however this is the only choice that I have left. Honor demands it of me. Tonight, she will come for me and I will fight. I will fight long enough and hard enough to be convincing and then I will die. For only my death by her hand will set us both free.

Briefly, I had considered staking myself and having done with it. However, my inexplicable disappearance would leave Buffy and her friends with a lingering fear. They would be left always wondering when and where I would resurface for the rest of their lives. I'm the monster in the dark, the bogeyman in the closet, the source of all their nightmares. My death demands an audience, to ensure that my friends know peace. I want them to live out the remainder of their lives safely and securely, without being haunted by my ghost. Buffy especially needs to confront and defeat the demon who has caused her so much torment. Only when she has slain the demon Angelus will she truly be free to move on.

There is a sound from the level below. I turn and begin to descend, going to meet my beloved and my fate. Buffy looks up and sees me. She doesn't look well, as fragile and brittle as a dried out husk. The vibrancy and radiance which I love so well are gone. This is what I have done to her, what I have reduced her to. For the briefest moment, surprise flickers in her eyes. Swiftly, it is replaced by cold, hard burning hate. She no doubt expected me to hide in shadow like a roach, waiting to strike unseen from the darkness. I leave her no room for doubt and no time to wonder. The demon's leer and visage come easily to me. I step forward and sneer at her. "Did you like the present I left for you?" Before she can respond, I launch a ferocious attack. My time to die is here.

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