Fanatic--my way

*****Kendall, Lauren's best friend stands outside of Lauren's house anticipating her friend's reaction to the news that she has been chosen to meet and interview 'Nsync*****

"Hi, I'm Kendall, Lauren's best friend. I'm standing outside her house and for some reason her neighbors and family haven't seemed to notice that I have with me an entire camera crew and a limo waiting near by. Oh well, it must be that TV magic. ANYWAY Lauren has no idea that she has been chosen by VH1...oh man, I messed it up again. I mean by MTV's FANatic to meet and interview her inspiration 'Nsync. How was that? Ya think I need more emotion next time..."

*tape cuts*

"OK here I am RIGHT OUTSIDE Lauren's room. For some reason she doesn't hear me out here talking about her, that's so amazing, how do you MTV people do that?"

"Uh, Kendall, I can hear ya in here. I'm just waiting for you to come in, tell me I've been chosen, and then whisk me away."

"Oh, so you already know you were chosen Lauren?"

"Yeah, how else do you think I got packed, bought 3 new outfits, made up all my questions, and styled my hair? You think I wake up looking like this..."

"GIRLS, we need to finish the segment. PLEASE..."

"Oh ok..."

*Kendall opens the door and...*

"Lauren, you've been picked as 'Nsync's number 1 fan by MTV's FANatic which can be seen on Tuesday nights at 9:30 every week. How was that for a plug?"

"Wahooo." Lauren says looking half way amused.

Cameraman: "Could we maybe have a little more emotion with that wahooo?"

"Wahooo a lot?"

*****The Next Day just minutes before the 'Nsync interview*****

"It's just minutes before my 'Nsync interview and man am I pumped. I thought of some tight questions last night and I intend to put my ebonics into full swing once I enter the venue..."

Kendall: "ARE YOU PUMPED MAN, YOU GET TO MEET AND INTERVIEW 'NSYNC?"

Lauren: "Yeah wahooo."

Kendall: "Humph, you're no fun."

*****5 minutes later as the girls walk towards the venue*****

"Ok, here we are 5 minutes later walking towards the venue. I'm really excited to meet 'Nsync. Especially Joey: I just love his Italian charm. *cough, cough, hack, hack*"

*****In those same 5 minutes 'Nsync awaiting their THIRD FANatic*****

Chris: "Ah, man my seat hurts my butt. Why do I always get the seat that hurts my butt? It's because nobody likes me isn't it? You guys don't like me, the fans don't like me, I don't even think my dog likes me all that much. It's because I'm old isn't it? Well, you know something Mr. it's not my fault I was born in 1942..."

Justin: "Yo, Chris, man chill. We be cool."

Lance: "Let's look on the bright side of things. It's a beautiful day, we have this wonderful girl coming to interview us, and I'm from Mississippi."

Chris: "Yeah, but I'm still really old."

JC: "You may be really old, but at least management finally let you take your braids out..."

Chris: "Yeah, it still hurts though. That hairdresser was rough on me."

Joey: "I wish that hairdresser would have been rough on me."

JC: "Joey, the hairdresser was a guy..."

Joey: "Yeah, what's your point?"

*****Just moments before Lauren gets to meet and interview 'Nsync*****

"Well, it's just moments before I get to meet and interview 'Nsync. I am bursting with excitement, I can't wait to meet AJ."

Cameraman: "Uh, that's Backstreet Boys."

Lauren: "Oh man. Brian?"

Cameraman: "No, that's them too."

Lauren: "Kevin?"

Cameraman: "Backstreet, Backstreet."

Lauren: "WHAT? No Kevin? Who exactly is in this group anyway?"

Cameraman: "Justin?"

Lauren: "Uh..."

Cameraman: "Joey..."

Lauren: "Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

Cameraman: "JC?"

Lauren: "Eh uh, try again."

Cameraman: "Lance?"

Lauren: "He's the guy from Mississippi right?"

*****2 minutes before Lauren finally gets to meet that guy from Mississippi and those other 4 guys*****

Lauren: "Well, it's 2 minutes before I finally get to meet that guy from Mississippi and those other 4 guys. I hope I can deal with them..."

Kendall: "Hey man, look, I can see the top of Joey's head from here."

Lauren: "How do you know it's Joey's head?"

Kendall: "Because it's brighter than the sun..."

Lauren: "Oh."

Long Pause

Lauren: "I'm not sure I want to go through with this interview..."

Producer of Fanatic: "All right Lauren 'Nsync is ready for you. Do you have your questions?"

Lauren: "Yep, right here typed up all nice. How did they get like that anyway? It's kind of like you guys typed them for me or something and, hey, wait a minute..."

Producer: "Ok, well, we don't want to keep the guys waiting so let's just move along shall we?"

*****The moment Lauren finally meets 'Nsync*****

"Well, it's the moment I finally get to meet 'Nsync."

JC: "We're right here ya know."

Lauren: "Sorry, I kinda got used to talking to the cameras. Though I think it might actually be more interesting than talking to you guys..."

Justin: "Watchya talking bout woman?"

Lauren: "Uhhh..."

Chris: "GUYS my butt is now officially asleep. Great just what I need. I'm short, unpopular, and I can't feel my butt."

Lauren: "Oh my god..."

Joey: "Please sit down you fine thing."

Lance: "Oh my, she is a fine thing. Just look at the way that beautiful shade of blue accentuates her eyes..."

*Everyone turns to stare at Lance*

Lance: "Oh come on guys, it's not like I'm the only one who noticed that..."

Justin: "Woman, what shade of blue that be?"

Lauren: "Excuse me, was the English?"

Justin: "Woman, don't play with me, you're whack; that ain't baby blue."

Lauren: "No, it's DARK BLUE."

JC: "Oh Jesus, here we go again..."

Justin: "WHAT?! Who wears DARK blue? Woman you've gotsta be trippin..."

Lauren: "On what?"

Justin: "Huh?"

Lauren: "What?"

JC: "Ahem, did you have some questions to ask us sweet darlin?"

Lauren: "Ya know I kinda get the feeling that you're the sanity in this whole mix..."

JC: "I've been described like that previously...yes."

Lauren: "Does that ever bother you?"

JC: "Is that your first question?"

Lauren: "No, I was just trying to make conversation."

JC: "Well you only have a limit of 6 questions, so if you want to use that as your first question feel free, but personally I wouldn't."

Lauren: "And why's that?"

Justin: "Cuz I be right over here. Ya'll know everyone beez sweating me..."

Lauren: "Are you sure you actually graduated from highschool?"

JC: "Was that your first question?..."

Lauren: "Hmmm, yeah it was."

Lance: "Well, we're not allowed to talk about that."

Lauren: "Why not?"

Chris: "Because CERTAIN members of the group may not have actually graduated..."

*Turns to look at Joey and Justin*

Justin: "At least we graduated before the turn of the century..."

JC: "1 down, 5 to go."

Lauren: "Thanks for the update. Next question is directed solely to Justin."

Justin: "Helz yeah."

Lauren: "Justin...would you show me your stomach?"

Justin: "What?

Lauren: "Come on you know you want to and we all wanna see it..."

Lance: "I wouldn't mind Justy." *wink*

Lauren: "Anyway what's the point of talking about how you do 200 sit-ups a day and then not showing off your stuff?"

Chris: "See, nobody likes me. I guess I'm just too old to have a 6 pack."

Lauren: "Well, yeah..."

Justin: "Aii't woman, you can see the stuff."

*Justin lifts up his shirt. Lauren falls off the chair blinded by his muscles. Once she regains her self control...*

Lauren: "Ok, now stay like that for the rest of the interview."

Justin: "I dunno if I can, it might get kinda hard, and I might get bored..."

Lauren: "SHUT UP AND DO IT."

Justin: "Ok..."

JC: "2 down and 4 to go."

Lauren: "Would you stop with that please?"

Joey: "HEY somebody pay attention to me. Nobody ever pays any attention to me. You just don't wanna know what I have to say..."

Lauren: "Well, do you have anything good to say Joey?"

Joey: (Looks down ashamed) "No..."

Lauren: "Ok, then quit your whining. And Chris you may not be the most attractive member of this group, but you're by far the coolest. You rock Chris."

Chris: "I know."

Lauren: "Just checking."

Justin: "Can I put my shirt down yet?"

Lauren: "No!"

Justin: "Ok..."

Lance: "Have I mentioned yet that I am from Mississippi?"

*Everyone turns to look at Lance*

Joey: "And you guys think I'm stupid."

*Everyone turns to look at Joey*

Joey: "Ok dumb comment."

JC: "Tick tock, tick tock, your precious question time is wasting away as we speak and..."

Lauren: "Next question: Who came up with those pansy-assed China Doll costumes you wear in concert?"

Lance: "You're a mean mean girl. You made me cry."

Justin: "Everything makes you cry Lance."

Lance: "Shut up and show your stuff."

Chris: "HEY why are you dissing our duds? They're my memorabilia from WW2 when I helped to liberate China..."

Lauren: "China wasn't involved in WW2."

Chris: "Hmmm, musta been WW1 then."

JC: "5 golden rings, 4 calling birds, 3 questions left, 2 turtle doves, and a partridge gena-pear tree."

Lauren: "Ya know that is really unattractive."

Lance: "I liked it."

*Everyone turns to look at Lance*

Justin: "Oh, oh, umph, ahhhhh."

*Splat*

Joey: "Looks like Justin's legs finally gave out on him. I told him he has to tone both the upper and lower parts of the body."

Lauren: Do you do that Joey?"

Joey: "No, I do eat a lot of pizza and lasagna, though. Ya wanna see my stomach?"

Lauren: "Uh, no thanks."

JC: "2 questions left...2..."

Lauren: "Ok now I just wanna hit you. Justin, I have another question for you."

Joey: "Why are these all for Justin?"

Chris: "Cuz he's the only one people like."

Lance: "Well, I know I like him." *wink*

JC: "Just leave, Lance, LEAVE."

Justin: (yelling from the floor) "Even though you made me stand with my stomach showing, and there was a slight breeze, you can still ask me your question."

Lauren: "Wow, that sentence was half way understandable."

Justin: "Yeah, I'm actually extremely intelligent. Mangment just wanted me to have a fault. I mean, come on, I can't be perfect looking, incrediably buff, and intelligent. That would just push everyone over the edge. Now what's your question..."

Lauren: "Ever thought about Christina Aguilera?"

Joey: "I've done more than think about her, I've..."

JC: "Joey-she means in real life."

Joey: "Ah, rats..."

Justin: "I'm not sure I fully comphrehend the meaning of your question, but I do sense a hint of sarcasm and a double meaning. If you're referring to my alleged relationship with Britney Spears that was false, never confirmed, and she's just an idiot thus why would I consider dating her arch nemesis Christina Aguilera? And did you know E equals Mc squared?"

Lauren: "I think I liked you better when you just used ebonics."

JC: "I told you man. Just sit there, bring in the ladies, and maybe we'll be around for more than a year."

Justin: "I'm down with that, do you like my thug appeal JC?"

JC: "SHUT UP man. I swear, I help out a friend, sing a couple lines, and all of a sudden I'm like 'Mr. thug appeal' I get so much slack for that..."

Lauren: "Yeah, well, life's hard."

JC: "Is it?"

Lauren: "Was that your fist question JC, cuz you only have a limit of one and-oup-time's up."

Chris: "I think my butt has fallen off."

Lauren: "Ok, I'm done. I throw in the towel, I give up, I..."

Joey: "Giddy up on out of here?"

Lauren: "Yeah..."

Justin: "Hey, FOO are you making fun of 'Giddy Up?' Ya know, Joey I'm getting real sick of your constant slander of this group. If you think it sucks so much..."

Joey: "Well maybe if you guys didn't make fun of me so much..."

JC: "Well maybe if you'd just go and join the Backstreet Boys we wouldn't have this problem."

Lance: "Oh my."

Lauren: "Oh, we're playing rough now..."

Joey: "Ya know what JC I think I will. You'll miss me when I'm gone, you'll be sad, you'll..."

Justin: "Have more food on the tour bus?"

Joey: "Shut up Justin just because you're legal now doesn't mean you can be mean to me too. I'm sure the Backstreet Boys would love to have me. Come on Lance, let's leave."

Lance: "Oh my, torn between all my wonderful friends. What's a boy to do?"

Chris: "Shut up Lance, nobody likes you anyway."

Lance: "You'll miss me when I'm gone. I just have one last thing to say to you boys: POO FU ON YOU."

*Lance turns and leaves, Joey follows.*

Justin: "Well I guess he showed us."

Lauren: "This is the weirdest interview I've ever experienced. This group is...very unhealthy."

JC: "Actually it's much more healthy now that Lance has left."

Producer: "Uh we just got word from Backstreet's management that they're once again not going to accept Joey and Lance as band mates. They say they're sick of this happening and if you guys could try to limit your outbursts to once a week they would be much obliged."

Justin: "Damn Nick Carter, you know he's the one who won't take Lance and Joey. Damn him..."

Lauren: "Can you life up your shirt again, just real quick..?"

*Justin lifts up his shirt*

Lauren: "Ok, just needed a reminder on why I'm still here."

Bummed that the interview's over already? Click here for some more well thought out and well said questions that I would looooove to ask 'Nsync.