Interview With a Vampire! The Count Speaks!

It was a dark and stormy night when the Count agreed to be interviewed. I was very excited as this is the first interview he has allowed since his brilliant rise to fame that all started with his simple webpage. Who would have known then that he would become a god to his legions of followers! But at that time I am sure no one would have guessed my own career change. Well thats enough introduction from this reporter. I hope you find the following conversation as inspiartional as I did.
Victoria Addams

V.A.- So tell me Count Chocula, may I call you Count?

C.C.- Sure as long as I can call you Posh Spice

V.A>- Whatever you are most comfortable with Count. Well I have some nighttrain in my purse or some Wild Irish Rose. Would you like a glass before we start?

C.C.- No. I never drink...wine.

V.A.- Well, so tell me what inspires you?

C.C.- Frankly, I must confess... the devil made me do it.

V.A.- Wow! What a scoop. So you page is facade for a satanic plot for world domination?

C.C.- In a word, yes.

C.C.- You see my plan worked because of the freindly sugar coated nature, and of course my dashing charisma. I may not have been able pull it off if I wasn't the sex symbol I am.

V.A.- Count, please stop touching my leg

C.C.- Um yes. We can leave that part out right?

V.A.- Of course. So describe a typical day in the life of Count Chocula.

C.C.- I get up a little after sunset, have a bite to eat. Then I toss back a couple of 40's. Go out on the town. Play a few games of pinball. Thats all I can say for now.

V.A.- Name a few of your top musical picks.

C.C.- I love the Genitorturers, Electric Hellfire Club, The Bomboras, Man or Astroman?, The Misfits, and The Mummies. Too much else to mention.

V.A.- So what are a few of your proudest accomplishments?

C.C- I was very proud when I made all churches taxed. But more so when I got the talent part of the Miss America pageant removed. But I can't forget when I was the guest of honor on The Jerry Springer Show.

V.A.- Well thats about all the time we have. Any parting words?

C.C.- To all my fellow diabolists: take care of yourselves and each other. Hail Satan!

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