Finally an update, finally some thoughts worth having.
Intuition vs. Rationality
So there?s this question about the split between intuition and rationality. What happens when there?s a split between the two, how does one reconcile that? More importantly is the question of not only which is greater than the other in the situation, but what happens when one is at a point where one must act or decide, or whatever the case can not wait until more insight is gained, if there is anymore to be gained, but rather must conclude. At the same time, the two conflicting views, which it seems we usually use in order to decide most things in life, rationality and intuition, conflict dramatically and equally. While one leans equally towards both, one also realizes the limits of each. Is there a third criteria in which to reference in order to make some sort of decision or conclusion, or an overarching system within which to work? Or are we solely left with these two criteria which conflict and are limited and don?t really add up to much.

New Experiences vs. Familiarity
Another situation that bothers me is familiarity. In high school I was all about wanting to get out and experience everything that didn?t exist in my small middle/lower class town. Then I came to college and did the opposite. I was very reluctant to accept any of the new things, thoughts, ideals, etc. I was being exposed to, partially in fear of losing my background and those values. In essence, where I came from, and where I am now, and possibly am heading, are so vastly different that it seems that it was either one or the other. It seems that I subconsciously came to some sort of conclusion that I could not fully expose myself to this world and still hope to retain those values that I believe(d) to be correct. Now it seems to me that I should instead seek to understand both worlds better and find a reconciliation, but also explore outside factors as well. Instead of thinking of it as one or the other, perhaps to think of it as two of many possibilities that can be combined and pieced together.

Different Modes of Living
One approach to this kind of possible solution, which I?m already planning on, is experiencing many different modes of living. I?ve done the small, rural, middle/lower class town, and now I live at an Ivy League school in a city. This summer I will live on my own with a friend, having to pay rent and food and all that, no vehicle, etc. and have to take care of myself. I would also like to go to Canada and farm for a summer, or at least live rurally enough to garden on a fairly big scale. I?d also like to go to South America and understand how people live in more primitive areas, without all the modern commodities and technologies, etc. I think this array of different living situations, mentalities, etc. will be beneficial not only in learning my own values but also learning the way in which I can best live once I must settle down, etc, which is a thing that very much concerns me. Staying in Yale, I?m concerned about not being happy with the typical Yale graduate type of life, but at the same time, I?m not fully convinced that doing things otherwise will help either. I no longer think it has much to do with living situation, but rather with mentality, and that is something that I must pursue to gain rather than wanting to hole myself into a particular place or lifestyle.

Mental Test by the Physical
At the same time, I also want to get back into body modification in a more serious way than before. Something along the ranks of suspensions etc, where much preparation is necessary and the experience itself is a test not necessarily of physical endurance, but of mental strength, etc. I think this, along with the preparation necessary and experiencing different living situations/ cultures. This will hopefully include such things as sky diving etc, so that I can push myself mentally by very physical experiences.