awakening.
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Bush- Straight No Chaser
"Drink life straight - no chaser"

So I have not fallen completely on my ass as predicted. So time to stop waiting for it to happen and actually start kicking life in the ass again. I think I'm finally coming out of the slump. It's time to decide what I'm doing with myself. How my life is going to fit my philosophy, while still doing what I want to do. That's my project. And for now, I'm going to add in from time to time what I wrote this summer that I wanted to post and never did. I think most of it is about art.

***
Art must be evaluated, like any culture or time, in its own context. Different styles of art have differnt aims. Thus, "good: art means somethign different each time. In the case of modern art, even if it doesn't particularly appeal to some temperaments, it can be good if it achieves its purpose and modern art does this in its goal of abstraction. (Part of an ongoing effort to defent modern art)

***
"Dreams are seldom what they seem. Sacrifice everything you know you love, the dream entices you to give yourself away. Sacrifice everything you know you love, you miss the things you hated long ago." -Pulse Ultra, Build Your Cages

I keep hoping that my relating to these lyrics won't be a self fulfilling prophesy.
As I put much thought into the prospects of starting a band next year, I want to start working on not only skill but finding my own style as well. I think, however, I will be heavily influenced by Tool and A Perfect Circle (no shit). Tool's cosmic feel and focus onfmentality is very appealing while APC's streamlined bass riffs, being simple and beautiful and at the same time interesting and driving, give me some sense of what I wish to create. What I like most about them however, is that theyre not only good and heavy but intelligent. Truely intelligent.
I really hope I can find other musicians that are into the same kind of music as I am.
My head continues to go between art and music and I hope to find a way for them to correspond.

***
Things aren't always what they seem. Modern art has a purpose. Most pits at metal shows are some of the friendliest places ever. It doesnt' have to make sense in order to have meaning.
These statements may make some of you say "huh?" but they're all true. I've been reading a history of western culture, and noticing how rationality creeps in more and more and society makes less and less sense in a bad way. Though many good things have come of this, it is obvious we;re losing a lot on the way. The two that bother me the most are community and intuition. Some may argue that family is being lost, but I prefer the word community. The smae issue has repercussions on many scales.
While moshing at a Slipknot concert, the singer, while inciting what he hopes to be the wildest, biggest circle pit he's seen (To which he later exclaimed "kick my ass" because Maine's hardcore like that) he sets the tone for the pit: "If you see someone fall, pick them up." Yes, while metal shows are rowdy as all hell, they have the best sense of community that I can remember experiencing. Everyone is there to have a good time, people talk between sets, help each other out when it gets rought and rock out like hell's ascending. It's a shame that everyday experiences don't feel like that. That people generally don't high-five the stranger standing next to them, don't pick randome people up when they're down. In some places, I imagine, some people don't know they're neighbors. It seems that the electronic/ information age is lacking a friendly face. Families get torn apart more often, which is no surprise if a general sense of community is lacking. Many people try to give prescriptive advise for the family problem - no pre-marital sex, no pre-nuptial vows, etc. but I'm not convinced that these do much in general. It hink the focus is in the wrong place. Perhaps we should all be metalheads.
In reading The History of Heavy Metal, I reallized that heavy metal and abstract art have something in common. They're based more on intuition than rationality. In fact I've heard the claim that th purpose of abstract art is to bring back the intuition we've lost. Though this doesn't completely justify abstract art, or justify some of it at all, it's a good point to think about.
As much as the Party is about rationalizing, well, everything, it shouldn't be at the expense of intuition, and it seems that it may be something that society is lacking as a whole. Thus some people need to see a literal image that means something when they look at art. Others need to be told, and sold on, why something is bad before they realize it. It falls in with the community problem. People need a reason to be nice to each other, which is ridiculous. It seems to me that this should be one's first reaction. And I don't mean that in a naieve, get-yourself-raped kind of way. I mean that in a be-decent-and-respectful-to-those-around-you kind of way. Though I'm certainly not one of the morally superior, I figure if *I'm* horrified, ib my accepting nature, at how things are, there definately is a problem. Coming from one kind of people and being thrown into a world that's completely diifferent in many different ways,I'm noting the contrast. Though it doesn't stand for all, in general I find the people at home more friendly and there's a stronger, more consistent sense of community. And that's not something that's because I grew up there. It's someting I sense through most of Maine. People here are simpler though. They work hard and try to live best they can. Whout time to rationalize about it, they rely on some sort of intuition and sense of community. Though religion does have somewhat of a hand in this, it's not particularly true of most of my generation. As much as I hate to be such a pessimist about modernity (I'll leave that to Steve) perhaps our advancements do have a negative toll on society. Though class warfare has always been around, our age seems to put a different face on it. Though I'd love to offer some sort of solution, I can't. But I can suggest that all should be friendly metalheads. Cause that would just be cool.