Mood:
chillin'Now Playing: Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome
I refuse to sit still. I refuse to be stable, steady, unchanging. What's exciting to me about life is that there's always something new going on, you're always feeling different about things. This summer kind of scared me into thinking that maybe I wanted to settle down after all. But what it really comes down to is that I don't want to fuck up for precisely the reason that I don't want to have to sit still. I want the liberty to "run wild" so to speak. My aversion to marriage comes from just that - my being incredulous that (and even now having been single for a while I'm starting to view relationships in general in this way) being with someone would not tie me down. I refuse to be bogged down, especially while I'm young. I'm not quite sure where this need for space and freedom and energy comes from, but I'm fine with saying that it's my nature and that's the way things are. I can't stand when people try to rationalize everything, and it's becomming apparant to me that a lot of people talk themselves into things they don't truely feel is right, that they're not passionate about. It changes how you talk about things - the difference between being passionate or not. I don't want limits, I don't want reason, I don't want to settle. I want to "grab life by the horns" so to speak. And I think lately what has kept me from that is having seen people who tried to do just that having turned out not so happy. But I don't think this is necessarily an indicator of the lifestyle. Either way, I don't think I have much choice in the matter.