I'm overthinking again. I went to two shows this weekend and I should be happy. But no. Actually, I usually feel awkward coming back to the campus after being out and about, but last night it was different. I came back to a good conversation and a random 12 pm game of chess. Unexpected, but it was a good thing. So at least there was that, aside from a really good show.
It feels that I am between two worlds. It is beginning to feel that I am so in between that I no longer belong to either one, which causes great discomfort. It seems that I should find an in between - which seems impossible.
I had a conversation about music last night, and it got me thinking about how my perspective shifts from time to time. I was asked why I listened to music, and they in turn gave me an answer that I would have given previously. Instead, my own answer was something new that I realize now I only partially agree with. It also reflects my current academic interests and perhaps social interests as well. I am more concerned with technical, useful skill at the moment than the sheer beauty and meaning that I used to clutch so tightly too. I realize that I haven't gone completely in the other direction, and that I will return to the former love of beauty and such with greater appreciation with the skill and technical appreciation I am gaining at the moment, but it still strikes me as odd. Go figure.
Also, my taste in music a subconscious attempt to make up for my surroundings. My taste for heavier, more technically skilled music is something that has always been around, but never so completely as now. It is because my surroundings lack this aesthetic. The more simple, softer, beautiful, whatever else music fits this surrounding better and it seems I don't crave it quite as often only because I am not lacking that vibe quite as much. I suppose it's an explanation of sorts.
Some drawings as well as hopefully body art will be posted tonight, assuming I'll have the time. It seems school provides me with enough time fillers and that the environment sucks up the rest of my time so free time to do whatever I please isn't always an option.
Either way, good day.