I feel like I'm the child disobeying the babysitter...who happens to be myself as well.
It has become apparant that I won't really put all too much effort into my studies...but I still keep faith and hope to try. Maybe. Just maybe. Also, I've come up with yet another tentative plan....Anthropolgy and International Studies...and using all my remaining credit space to learn italian, spanish, and german. And yes I realize I should capitalize those. My original excuse was that I'm lazy but now I'm spending all the extra effort to explain that. I dunno.
Those kids that came by the art gallery today attend a program called Pathways...and I realize now that I've always wanted to volunteer at such a program. So I'm looking into it, though I can't fathom when I'd have any time whatsoever. What am I trying to do to myself? I hope I don't eventually end up overloading and fucking up everything. We'll see. I guess it's just a matter of seeing just how much I can do just barely short of crashing....but isn't that what caused the biggest meltdown at a nuclean powerplant? something to keep in mind I guess....
I really wish someone with all the answers would read this and be all knowing and tell me what the deal was. Though I'm not convinced there is such a person, I just don't want to put in the effort of figuring it out on my own...not to mention the inplied risk...but it seems it's the way things are going.