FRANK’S EPIC DEEP SEA JOURNEY!
So. At some point, Frank decided to go out and about and off and into
the world. The house in the field was suddenly torn down by the mighty
forces of time! Falling into the basement, Frank fell into the
basement.
The secret tunneling system of the old days, when the world was young,
was about to pay off. The sales clerk was missing, so Frank decided to
never find her ever again. Instead, he went to the underground shopping
plaza, which had just recently opened for business a few minutes ago,
with the new and great appeal of falling into one’s basement and going
to an underground shopping plaza, brought on by the time when Frank fell
into his basement and went to an underground shopping plaza, which oddly
enough, was the one that had just opened!
What luck on Frank’s behalf! What a lucky time Frank (the person who
had quite good luck) was having right then. Frank then hopped onto the
subway train which had stopped at the tunnel in his basement.
He decided to play some jazz music, just like one other time when he
played jazz music. And that’s just what he did. He pulled out the old
grand piano, and played some of that funky jazz that he had been known
to adore. As each minute went by, he adored it more. Frank was kind of
weird like that.
The subway train was a steam locomotive! The tunnel was filling with
smoke at an alarming rate, and Frank was having a tall glass of water!
The water spilled as the locomotive came to a stunning stop, when it hit
an oncoming subway train, which was a symbolic one way street car.
Nobody was to blame, except for the people who were responsible for the
things that had happened. And they were to blame. Because of the true
and simple reason, that they were responsible.
Other trains were rushing to the scene, causing a massive subway train
traffic jam! Even the old, back ally subway trains got in on this mad
action. Catastrophe struck when the crossing guards went quite crazy,
and were casually letting the foolish and fun people wander into the
subway train cluttered street, where there were lots of subway trains!!
They all were knocked onto the third rail, and lived happily ever after.
It was quite fortunate for Frank that at the point when he spilled the
water on himself he was wearing his water-resistant sport coat, and it
repelled the water, just like a good little water-resistant sport coat
should. Frank congratulated it with words such as “Good boy!” and
“Yes.” Everyone felt good, for the time being. Happy!
Dodging the subway carunkus (as well as the ghost of subway past, who
was showing a film documentary on how subways had developed, grown, and
evolved over the past 5,000 years) Frank entered the shopping plaza
which he had long dreamed of going to. It was one of the places, one
might say, that he wanted to go!
Back in the day, Frank had sat in the pretend forest, where he
pretended to live, and thought about the way that he always had wanted
to fall into his basement, think about going to a shopping plaza that
had opened, decide to go to the shopping plaza that he had thought
about, follow the carefully planned tunnels to the subway station of the
day, wait for the subway train to arrive, get on the subway train, sit
down, think about the shopping plaza, continue sitting down, have a tall
glass of water, spill it all over himself, shave, take a shower, brush
his teeth, loose 10 pounds, exchange all of the British money for other
money that was not British money, read a novel, get off the train after
it crashes, and eventually go do the shopping mall thing. BUT. He
faulted in his way of thinking! The shopping PLAZA was what he was
truly in need of, and by thinking “shopping mall”, he made a bit of one
of the biggest mistakes for that entire hour.
Anyway. Frank went into the shopping plaza! That was kind of an odd
thing for him to do, because the door was locked, and there was a
policeman-type-of-person who said that he shouldn’t go inside. Ever.
FRANK JUMPED THROUGH THE SIDE WINDOW, eluding all of the people who
were around! Just then, the general manager of the shopping mall swung
in on a chandelier! He was a flying cowboy who could fly! Frank shot
him with a gun. The fierce bullet punctured the 1940s style hat that
the general manager, or Samsonite Smith, as he was known in some
circles, was wearing at the time! He took off the hat, to avoid further
damage to it. But it was all too late! A bird swooped off with the
chapeau! And then Samsonite Smith was close in pursuit of the one who
had robbed him of his extra-special style.
Frank ran further into the shopping plaza! It was quite a fun time.
Looking in the windows, he realized that something was wrong. There was
no glass in the windows... NO GLASS. Reaching the only conclusion that
one could possibility reach in a situation such as this one, Frank
realized that there was a conspiracy against him! It was all “them”.
“They” would use the lack of glass as a way to jump out from behind the
counter, where they lurked, waiting in the guise of a person who works
in a store in an underground shopping plaza.
Frank tried to blend into the crowd, but he could see that it was
really no use. They must all be in on it, too, because they were all
walking around. Perhaps trying to get away, leave Frank in the open,
vulnerable to attack by grand surprise?! It was the only solution!
All of Frank’s conspiracy buddies informed him, via walkie-talkie, that
Samsonite Smith was coming back. Frank wondered just what the hell that
was suppose to mean, why it was important to him, and who Samsonite
Smith was. He found out as the flying cowboy of style and fun came
swooping through the skylight, along with the people in black suits!
They were all coming, and there was nowhere to go! Tension! Stress!
Fruit salad sandwich! What was going to be done???
Well. Frank darted into Dunkin Donuts, his “home base”, if you will,
and there he ate his fruit salad sandwich. And had a chat with some of
the members of the board of trustees. They thought about it, and, with
much excitement and consideration, decided to have their rightful share
of the fruit salad sandwich, which was truly the public property that
everyone had always wanted to have, all of the time. The answer was
right away “NO” and there was a motion to remove Frank from the board of
trustees. Frank was never ever ever on the board of trustees, ever
before, so he thought it was a good opportunity to never be on it ever
again. And took them all up on their offer, and the conspiracy came to
a screeching halt in its tracks.
That was sort of a disappointment to some folks. They made up for it
by having coffee at the coffee place where they sold coffee.
Ahh, well, Frank was wearing his hat, so when the bomb was dropped he
was quite protected. But then he took it off, and a rock fell on his
head, and he was injured. Then he left the shopping plaza.
