Read on for a good laugh
  
   Hi ladies,

      Anyone facing "TOO MANY SUITORS" problem?

  Subject: Let him down gently

   This goes out to any woman who's had to reject any losers. 
   Now we have a form letter to send out.


  Dear (name)

  I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
   contention as Mr. Right.  As you are probably aware, the competition
   was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such
   as yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep
   your name on file should an opening come available. So that you
   may find better success in your future romantic endeavors, please
   allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified from   
   the competition:

   (Check those that apply)

  ___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
        hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.

  ___Your first name is objectionable.  It's just not something I can
        picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.

  ___The fact that our finest dining experience to date has been at
        McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find unappealing.

  ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the
        truckload"indicates that you may be interested in me for
        something other than my personality.

  ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
        about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.

  ___Your breasts are bigger than mine.

  ___Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my pants,
        then you can't GET into my pants.

  ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be
        beaten up repeatedly at recess.

  ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from
        trying to kiss you.

  ___You have a hairy back.

  ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.

  ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an
        inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.

  ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in
        conversation.

  ____ You still live with your parents.

  ___ Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star
        Trek uniforms a little disconcerting.
  ___ Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect
         that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.

  ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am
        seeking in a long  term partner.

  ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should,
        however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches,
        please resubmit your application.

  ___The fact that you categorize the ProBowler's Tour as "must see =
        TV" demonstrated that you do not meet my intelligence
        requirements.

  ____Somehow I doubt those condoms that I found in your overnight bag
        were really necessary for a successful business trip.

  ___I am out of your league; set your sights lower next time.



          Sincerely,


                   X______________
                    Your Name Here