The elevator
stops on every floor
and nobody gets on.
You open
a can of soup
and the lid falls in.
There's always a car riding your tail
when you're
slowing down to find an address.
You rub on handcream and can't turn the bathroom
doorknob to get out.
Three hours and three meetings after lunch,
you look in the mirror
and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
People behind you
in a supermarket line
dash ahead of you
to a cashier just opening up.
You reach under the table
to pick something up off the
floor
and smash your
head on the way up.
A station comes in brilliantly
when your're standing near
the radio
but
buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the
dictionary
because
you don't know how to spell it.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop,
but you don't
realize it
till you
walk across your living room rug.
Your glasses slide off your ears
when you perspire.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket
and your
entire laundry comes
out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn
because you let a
pedestrian finish
crossing.
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