The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been corrected for grammar or spelling.
*In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
*Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
*Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
*The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had, trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
*Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
*Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
*The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
*The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
*The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
*Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
*Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
*The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
*David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
*Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
*Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
*St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
*Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
*It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
*The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
*The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
*St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
*A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
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