OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am 
INSIDE: that you're not here to ruin it for me.
 
OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. 
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.
 
OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. 
INSIDE: I never believed in Hell 'till I met you. 

OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: 
INSIDE: What the heck was I thinking? 

OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected. 
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
 
OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family. 
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, 
        since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!
 
OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you, 
INSIDE: it's almost like you're here.
 
OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend... 
INSIDE: buy a dog.
 
OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. 
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was