Miss Piggy's Cookbook Helps Out Meal Program
With Some Help From Her Friends

It had to happen: Her Moi-ness Miss Piggy was written a cookbook. "In the Kitchen With Piss Piggy" by Moi is a collection of recipes not from the porcine princess her own self, but instead from her celebrity friends.
The books has cooking hints from Miss Piggy (thaw frozen dinners with a blow dryer) and ideas for seating arangements as a dinner party (Miss Piggy with seven men, well, six men and Kermie). But the bulk of the book is recipes from her star friends.
Herein lies the biggest hoot of the whole operation. In the media materials, certain contributors' names and recipes can not be used to promote the book. Thoes celebrities are Andre Agassi (but it's okay to use Brooke Shields), Lauren Bacall, Clint Eastwood, Paul Newman, Donna Karan, Tipper Gore, Yo-Yo Ma, James Earl Jones, Charles Kuralt, Beverly Sills, Ben and Jerry, Placido Domingo, Gael Greene, and, drum roll please, Martha Stewart, who used Miss Piggy to promote her Christmas special.
A call to public relations firm handling the book didn't solve the puzzle of these shy celebrities. Certain stars simply didn't sign the form allowing the use of their name in connection with the book. Perhaps they're all as shy as Stewart and want their charity work to be private.
You've got to wonder what is going through these people's minds. A protion of the book's profits go to Citymeals-on-Wheels, in New York City, and Meals-on-Wheels programs in the rest of the country.
But than you got the folks who know that any publicity, piggy as it sounds or not, is good publicity. For example, recipes are contributed from the likes of Elizabeth Taylor, John Travolta, Melanie Griffith and Whoopi Goldberg, all of whom have suffered from their share of tabloid headlines.
So, in following the rules, here are two "allowable" recipes from the book. The first is from Betty Buckley. The second is from Ivana Trump, who is almost as make-believe as Miss Piggy.

Betty Buckley's Parmesan Potatoes

12 small red potatoes (about 1 1/2
pounds), unpeeled, sliced
4 cloves garlic, unpeeled
1/2 cup plus 2 teaspoons grated Parmesan cheese
4 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper, preferably white
2 teaspoons chopped parsley, optional

Bring water to boil in 3-quart saucepan. Put in potatoes and garlic and cook until potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, preheat broiler. Butter a shallow 1-quart baking dish.
Drain potatoes and garlic. When their cool enough to handle, slip garlic cloves out of their skins. In a shallow bowl, coarsely mash the potatoes and garlic with a potato masher or fork (don't use a food processor - it will make the potatoes guey). Add 1/2 cup of the Parmesan, butter, milk, salt and pepper. Spread potato mixture in baking dish and evenly sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons Parmesan over the top.
Broil 4 inches from heat until top is lightly browned, about 6 minutes. Serve dish granished with chopped parsley.
Nutritional analysis per serving: 505 calories, 8 grams of fat, 31 grams carbohydrates, 3 grams protein, 23 milligrams cholesterol, 326 milligrams sodium, 36 percent of calories from fat.

Ivana Trump's Beef Goulash

2 pounds beef shank or chuck, cut into 1-inch cubes
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 to 3 teaspoons sweet Hungarian paprika
4 tablespoon (1/2 stick) unsalted butter or lard
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 medium yellow onions, minced 1 clove garlic, crushed
Pinch of dried marjoram
Salt
1 small green bell pepper, stemmed, seeded and minced
1 medium tomato, peeled, seeded and chopped
1 pound uncooked egg noodles

Preheat oven 375 degrees.
Lightly dust beef with flour and paprika. Set a 3- or 4-quart Dutch oven or flameproof casserole over high heat and melt half the butter with the oil. Add beef and saute until browned, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to moderately high and add the onions and garlic. Cook until onions are translucent, 3 to 5 minutes. Add water to cover (about 2 cups) and the marjoram and salt to taste. Place casserole in oven and cook uncovered until beef is very tender, 1 to 1 1/2 hours, stirring frequently. Add more water if needed to prevent scorching.
Thirty minutes before goulash is done, add green pepper and tomato.
Just before serving, cook noodles in large pot of boiling salted water, according to package directions. Drain and toss with remaining 2 tablespoons of butter.
Season to taste with additional salt. Serve at once with the hot buttered noodles.
Nutritional analysis per serving: 655 calories, 23 grams of fat, 61 grams carbohydrates, 50 grams protein, 181 milligrams cholesterol, 93 milligrams sodium, 31 percent calories of fat.

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