For the first couple of days, the other riders took up the slack on the rides and doing chores around the station so that Kid could stay with Lou. Teaspoon was okay with it at first, but as he began to notice how tired and worn the others riders were getting because of all the extra work they were doing, he took Kid aside and told him that he was going to have to at least pitch in around the station with the chores, and the young man reluctantly agreed.
The time away from Lou was beneficial for both riders. It gave the female rider some much needed privacy to think about all that had happened in the past couple of months, and also gave her and Rachel the opportunity for talking as well. Knowing that Rachel had experienced losing a baby as well made it easy for Lou to open up to her about what she was feeling. The two women shared many tears with one another, along with a few smiles, and gave Lou hope that the intense sorrow she was feeling would eventually subside into something she could live with.
Doctor Danes was pleased by the progress that the young woman was making in her recovery. He came by the bunkhouse every couple of days to examine Lou and make sure that she was continuing to follow his instructions. He was a gentle man who did his best to alleviate Lou’s discomfort with his intimate examinations, and always allowed Rachel to stay inside when he did them. When he revealed to her that she would be able to carry more children in the future, Lou wept with relief. Even though the death of this first baby was still a fresh wound, the knowledge that she would still have the option of having more children in the future was a wonderful blessing.
One night, nearly two weeks after Lou miscarried, Kid awoke to her crying. He slid out of bed and maneuvered his way over to the bunk she was in.
“Lou?”
“Go away.”
“No,” Kid told her softly. “No more sending me away or not talking things out. We’re in this together Lou.”
“I’m the one who lost the baby, you aren’t.”
“You’re wrong, Lou. It was my baby too. I might not have known that it existed until it was too late, but it was still my baby. We created it together out of our love, and now it’s gone, and I’m grieving too.”
Kid’s voice cracked as his grief threatened to overwhelm him. He worked to gain control of his emotions. In the precluding silence that followed, Lou reached but and took Kid’s hand. The gesture moved him so much that he openly broke down.
“Lou, I am so sorry. I let my hurt and pride get the best of me over you telling me no. I didn’t stop to listen to your reasons why you didn’t want to get married because I was stupid.” He confessed. “I hurt you because I was hurting and I don’t blame you for being so angry with me. If I had handled things better and hadn’t let my jealousy over your growing closeness with Jimmy rule my actions, you would have never have left Rock Creek. Maybe if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have lost the baby.”
“It wasn’t your fault anymore than it was mine.” Lou said softly.” Doc Banes told me that as early along as I was I shouldn’t have been experiencing the pain and cramping. He doesn’t believe that anything I did was the cause of me losing the baby. It was just nature’s way of telling me that something wasn’t right with it.”
“It doesn’t excuse what I’ve done.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
There was no anger in Lou’s voice, only honesty.
“Where do we go from here?”
Kid’s eyes were intent on Lou’s face as he waited for her response.
“I don’t know.”
“I’d like for us to start over again, Lou, if you are willing to try.”
Lou was silent for several minutes as she considered what Kid was asking. There had been so many hurtful things said and done between them that she wasn’t sure if they could ever go back to what they had once been. Maybe the solution then wasn’t to try and recapture what they had once meant to each other, but to start over again with a clean slate and see how things progressed. Was she even willing to attempt repairing the damages they had done to each other and make a fresh start? Did she still love him, despite everything that had happened between them?
Gazing into Kid’s eyes and seeing the hope and love for her shining within their blue depths, Lou knew the answer to her own question.
“I’m willing to try. Let’s start with friendship first, Kid. Can we do that?”
“We can do that.” Kid felt relief flood through him at her words. Maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t lost her completely yet.
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