Choices


Written by Wendy

Disclaimer: This story is in no way meant to infringe on the rights of the creator of the series The Young Riders, Ed Spielman and Ogiens/Kane. All other characters belong to the author. Copyright 2000

Prologue

Louise McCloud felt the world spin as she sat up in her bunk above Kid's. She sat still for several moments, hoping the spinning would stop long enough for her to climb down. She succeeded in climbing down, but had to lean her head against the bunk as another wave of motion followed the first. She was thankful that she awoke earlier than the boys, 'cause she would never be able to convince them that she was all right. Sooner or later she was going to have to tell everyone she was sick, but for now she was going to continue to hide it. She saw no reason to worry them until she knew for sure what was wrong with her.

When the second round of dizziness had passed, she hurriedly grabbed her clothes and put them on. As she was pulling on her boots, her stomach gave a violent leap. She raced out of the bunkhouse and headed for the outhouse. She had barely entered the outhouse before she began to vomit. She fell to the floor of the outhouse as tears filled her brown eyes from the violent intensity of the retching. Her slender body shook uncontrollably and perspiration rolled down her face. Fear swept through her as she waited for the retching to pass. Never had she been so sick before in her life. Horrifying images swam through her head. She envisioned herself lying in the bunkhouse with the other riders, Teaspoon, and Rachel crowded around her. Kid's face swam before her eyes and she could picture the flood of tears swimming in his beautiful azure eyes as she closed her eyes for the last time. The thought of never seeing him or any of the others again filled her with such agony, that she hoped the end would be quick. (Get a grip on yourself, Lou!) She told herself angrily.(The doctor in Seneca will give you something and you'll be fine in a few days.)

She allowed herself only a few moments of rest, before she slowly got to her feet. Her head swam briefly as she moved, but after a moment subsided. With slow movements she made hr way back to the bunkhouse. She washed her face in the basin on the porch and was relished in the relief the cool water offered her. By the sounds dwindling outside, the other riders were already awake and ready for the day. She was relieved to know that none of them suspected that anything was wrong with her. If she was lucky, no one would question her about how pale her face looked, and by nightfall she would be in Seneca and know what was wrong with her. If any of the riders found out that she was ill, especially Kid, they would never allow her to leave the waystation without finding out what was wrong with her. While everyone at the station knew she was woman, know one in Sweetwater did, and she wasn't going to let her illness jeopardize her job.

A chorus of "Morning Lou" greeted her as she entered the bunkhouse and took her place at the table.

"Morning,"

Her brown eyes met Kid's blue ones across the table and smiled softly at him. Kid responded with a grin that brightened his handsome features. Even though things had been pretty tense between them lately, it didn't mean that they couldn't try to be friends. She knew that things would never be the same as it was before they had fallen in love with each other, but there wasn't a reason for them to act so awkward with each other. Despite the reasons why they had broken up, Kid would always be a part of her life. He was a member of the Pony Express family and she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. Even if it meant him being happy with someone other than her. It would break her heart to see him married to someone else, but at least he would be happy.

"Louise, will you help me for a moment?" Rachel called out.

Lou got up from the table and went over to the stove. Rachel handed her a platter of fried eggs and another of bacon. Lou placed the plates onto the center of the table and returned to her seat. Rachel placed biscuits and gravy onto the table and took her place. Catching a whiff of Rachel's buttermilk biscuits, she suddenly found herself feeling hungry. It was like the episode in the outhouse earlier hadn't even happened. Teaspoon had barely finished saying the blessing on the food, when she grabbed two biscuits off the platter, buttered them, and popped one into her mouth.

"Uh, Lou? Are you feeling okay? " Cody asked from across the table.

"Yeah. Why?" she asked, as she started on the second biscuit. She looked around the table at the astonished faces before her. "Why are all of you staring at me like that?"

"Because it's not often we see you devour two biscuits in five seconds flat." Noah replied, grinning at her.

Ike pounded on the table to get everyone's attention. "Ike says that you even beat Cody's time at eating biscuits." Buck told her.

They all laughed as Cody blushed. He shot a scathing look in Buck and Ike's direction. "Ha. Ha. Ha. You boys are just a barrel of laughs today."

"Is there a problem with me having an appetite? Not like I can out eat any of you at any given time." Lou said, defensively.

"Don't take it to heart, Lou. These boys just don't know what they're missing when they devour their meals so quickly. I, myself, am a man who would rather savor every bite of such a delicious meal." Teaspoon said.

"I'm sorry about snapping at you boys. These biscuits are so good, that I couldn't resist eating another one so quickly." Lou said, looking at Rachel.

"Thanks, Teaspoon, Lou." Rachel said. "I'm glad some of you appreciate my cooking." She added, her green eyes twinkling with mischief.

Noise exploded around the table, as the other riders tried to outdo themselves in complimenting Rachel on her cooking. Rachel laughed as Teaspoon shouted above the din to get everyone's attention.

"Boys, boys! That's enough! Rachel appreciates the compliments I'm sure. Now finish eating, we have a lot of chores to do today."

Silence filled the air as everyone focused their attention on finishing their breakfast. Rachel found herself studying the riders' faces as she ate. Each member of her adopted family was unique and held a special place in her heart. She could often tell by the expressions on their faces whether or not they were happy, upset or angry. When her eyes focused on Lou's face, she was shocked to see how pale and sickly it looked. A fine line of perspiration dotted the female rider's forehead and dark circles rimmed her beautiful brown eyes.

She knew that Lou had been having a hard time dealing with her and Kid's breakup. Lou had told her that she loved Kid very much, but that she just wasn't ready to settle down and be the woman Kid wanted. She knew how much riding for the Express meant to the female rider and how hard she worked to prove that she was just as good at her job as any of them were. Seeing how sickly Lou looked, worried her though. Maybe there was something else wrong and Lou wasn't telling any of them. She hesitated a moment before asking,

"Lou, are you feeling okay? You don't look so good?"

Lou found herself the focus of everyone's attention for the second time in so many minutes. She remained silent under the deep scrutiny that everyone was giving her, knowing that they wouldn't be able to find anything wrong with her except that she was paler than normal and that she had dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm all right Rachel. Just been tired is all. Had a hard time getting to sleep last night." Lou said, quickly, hoping everyone would let it go.

"If you aren't feeling good I could take your ride Lou." Kid said. The look in his azure eyes and the obvious concern in his voice brought tears to her eyes. Damn! Why couldn't Rachel have kept her mouth shut! She was immediately contrite for the angry thought. Rachel was only acting like a concerned friend.

"I can handle it. 'Sides, it's a layover, so I can rest up then." Lou told him.

"Are you sure? I'd be glad to take it." Kid tried again, even though he knew he was treading on thin ice. Lou didn't like it when he tried to do things for her. She always seemed to misunderstand his intentions. By the darkening expression on her face, it looked like he was going to get it with both barrels.

"I said I could handle it, Kid! I don't need you or anyone else mothering me!" she spat angrily. She rushed out of the bunkhouse before Kid could respond to her outburst.

Silence filled the room. No one spoke for quite some time. Kid started to finish his breakfast, the others following suit. The situation between Lou and Kid had them all walking on eggshells. They were afraid of saying anything to Lou about Kid for fear of making her upset, while trying to talk to Kid was like talking to a brick wall. None of them could understand why two people who cared so much about each other were so bent on making each other miserable.

"Real smooth there, Kid? Just can't leave her alone, can you? One minute you're acting like she doesn't exist and the next minute pretending to care about how she feels. Why don't you leave her alone? " Jimmy asked, his voice laced with anger.

"What's that suppose to mean, Jimmy? Just 'cause Lou and I aren't together anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about her. Do you think this is easy for me " Kid said, hating that he had to defend himself to his friends. They should know that he would never willingly hurt Lou for anything.

Tension filled the room as the two friends glared at each other across the table. For weeks now, Jimmy and Kid had barely spoken to each other. During the time of his and Lou's courtship, Kid had grown considerably jealous of the close relationship that the female rider and Jimmy shared. While the bond between Lou and Jimmy had grown, their relationship had come to a draw. Kid wanted more out of their relationship than Lou was currently ready to give. Lou confided in Jimmy instead of him, now. Knowing that Jimmy was a willing listener caused him considerable pain.

Teaspoon cleared his throat and spoke before his two riders could exchange more words. "Jimmy, I know you think you have to stick up for Lou, but"

"Somebody has to, Teaspoon! I'm not going to let him hurt her anymore!" Jimmy told him angrily.

His steely gaze focused once more on Kid. "How do you think Lou feels when she sees you parading around here with all those women, Kid? Not only does she have to continue hiding the fact that she's a woman, but you constantly show her that she's not woman enough for you!"

Kid leaped out of his chair. "I'm sick and tired of having to explain myself to you Jimmy! Lou and I broke up! I'm sorry Lou's hurt, but I'm only doing what she suggested. Here's your chance, Jimmy! You've been mooning over Lou ever since we found out she was girl! Why don't you court her? Or are you just too chicken?"

Everyone watched in shocked amazement as Jimmy's usually stoic resolve crumbled and his face turned red with embarrassment. It was obvious to the others that Kid's remark held a grain of truth in it. Each had suspected that Jimmy had developed deeper feelings for the female riders during the past few weeks. Lou and Jimmy had been spending a lot of time together lately.

Jimmy was out of his chair and on top of Kid before anyone could react. The others winced as Jimmy's fist connected with Kid's jaw. Buck and Ike sprang forward and hauled Jimmy off of Kid, while Cody and Noah grabbed a hold of Kid.

"Boys, that's enough!" Teaspoon's voice thundered through the bunkhouse as the door opened.

Lou stood in the doorway, her brown eyes glittering angrily. Taking in the situation before her, she stepped inside, her slender body rigid with barely controlled anger. She stepped between the two groups of men, eyeing first Jimmy, then Kid. Never before had any of the others seen such anger in the face of the female rider. Finally Lou turned and faced Jimmy.

"Jimmy you are a good friend. You've been there when I've needed someone to talk to and I appreciate that, but you don't have to defend me. I can take care of myself. Being mothered was one of the reasons why I called it off with Kid. I thought you understood that. If you can't handle just being my friend then let me know now!" Lou told him, through clenched teeth. Then she turned to Kid.

"Kid, you've got to lay off Jimmy! He's your best friend! Jimmy and I are just friends, nothing more! I shouldn't have to explain that to you! You should just trust us! 'Sides whom I chose to court is no concern of yours! Picking fights with Jimmy isn't going to change how things are between us. It's only making them worse. As for my personal life, mind your own damn business! 'Sides, I'd have to be crazy to want another man in my life right now! You boys are enough to drive any woman plumb crazy!" she spat out, her voice growing progressively louder as her anger took over. She shot angry glances at the startled faces at the other riders, then stormed out of the bunkhouse.

Chapter 1

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