Lost among my memories and dreams
Nothing is as it seems
I have forgotten my place
And you have not yet found your own
That is where the trouble comes
The demons are conjured with thoughts of remorse and self pity
Those thoughts you hold tightly bound within your lies
You are lost among your own self demise
I wish you could see
How your choices and actions effect me
Your own denial has made me question all I have ever known
I no longer belong where I used to in your eyes
Due to my confrontation of your lies
Yet the truth still does not come through
to lie to me and you lie to you
I trusted your words, honored you actions
Stood by you when i could have left
I would have believe you till my last breath
but now i find myself wondering fiction from fact
Sorting lies from truth in my broken past
Even your lies are not good enough to last
Now that i have seen your deceiving
Not a word from you lips can i find myself believing
Have you forgotten whats fact and what's fiction?
In trying to hide your lieing position?
Those demons shall dance in your head until there is no more lies on which to feed
Rid yourself of them so that the truth may again someday be said, and you believed
Beyond Myself Eyes wide awake, staring strait.... i wonder if there is still something for which i wait...
I scream with no sound, talk with no voice...
Listen and hear everything...
yet i hear the very silence for which comforts
and saddens me both at once
Then voices speak to me from within
faces laugh with a knowing crooked grin... Its funny to them to hide me from myself
Thoughts arise beyond myself...
to serve my hungry mind,
which now starves for a true meaning of myself to find...
Timesless time
Inspiration in the time of inexplicable events; ones of which confuse all those who tread upon the edge of my aura. Wonder of which reviews the past, and asks of what cannot be explained in the present, only in time. The ever changing, same routine of time.. my dreaded enemy and constant friend... time.. repeating itself different.. Brings forth to me challenges beyond understanding that extend into the unknown.. a place where questions answered only surmises more questions. None to quick to guess what is unknown but eager to expand the minds horizons i ponder yet again what i can make no knowledgeable guesses to, only wonder about. Approaching the stage life has made for me, timidness sets in sometimes where my courage was contained or so i thought... so yet i know there is something hidden where it shouldn't be kept, for times i cannot find the words in my fleeting thoughts to say what's thought before it's past. I blink and something yet i have missed, although time still holds its steady course towards the future, never faltering, while seemling slowing for those who wait for it. Time. I wait to find your secrets, i seek wisdom that you carry, and find within you the inspiration to not fade into the memories of what you leave behind. For that i walk forward in the present with you, leaving the memories past, and the future to be written.
The following is a poem i wrote when i was around fourteen. "NO Daddy" "i can't take it, please dont do it, dont give me anymore bruises" she's said to her daddy so many times she tells him drinking is making him go crazy all he does it hurt her and asks for another beer her little heart has only known fear, the bruises on her only tell part of the hurt she has felt she has scars from his belt wounds on her heart from his voice the girl has never had a choice her mamma died, her dad started drinking she makes excuses for him saying her only isn't thinking- at school the kids are just as cruel teasing her about falling down the stairs of how she ran into a wall when she didn't do any of that at all at the age of nine she realizes what is going on isnt fine every now and then she vows someday he'll pay that he will get caught; daddy tells her not to say a word to anyone or she will get beat she wonders why the world can't see what is happening to her; she prays to a God who she wonders if he's there asks why life isn't fair somehow she knows she'll be found by someone who cares... until then all she does is take every hit ever bit of pain the girl gets she knows she doesn't deserve still she prays that someday she will get away from it all.
