W A C K Y - W I S D O M
---------------------------------------- With Pat Bates ------------------------------------------
ONLY IN AMERICA
Only in America does a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating
rink.
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we use answering
machines to screen calls, and then have
call- waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in
the first place.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in
packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the word
'politics' to describe the process so well:
'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and ‘tics'
meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America do they have drive‑up ATM machines
with Braille lettering.
