Wacky Wisdom
Missionary Pat Bates
A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN
I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling
to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before
going to bed last night. You are so
unthankful, I like that about you. I
cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living,
Fool, you are mine.
Remember, you and I have been going steady for years and I still don't love you
yet. As a matter of fact, I hate you,
because I hate God. I am only using you
to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you
have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell.
That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God.
Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the
good times we've had. We have been:
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watching dirty movies,
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cursing people out,
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stealing,
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lying,
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being hypocritical,
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fornicating,
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overeating,
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telling dirty jokes,
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gossiping,
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being judgmental,
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back stabbing people,
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disrespecting adults,
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and those in leadership positions,
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no respect for the Church,
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bad attitudes.
SURELY
you don't want to give all this up. Come on, Fool, let's burn together
forever. I've got some hot plans for
us. This is just a letter of
appreciation from me to you. I'd like
to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life.
You are so gullible, I laugh at you.
When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA! HA HA! You make me
sick. Sin is beginning to take it's
toll on your life. You look 20 years
older, and now, I need new blood. So,
go ahead and teach some children how to sin.
All you have to do is:
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smoke,
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get drunk and drink under-age.
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cheat,
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gamble,
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gossip,
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fornicate,
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and live being as selfish as possible.
Do all of this in the presence of
children and they will do it too. Kids
are like that.
Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds
to tempt you again. If you were smart you would run somewhere, confess you
sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It's
not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still be sinning, it's
becoming a bit ridiculous. Don't get me
wrong, I still hate you.
IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.
P.S. If you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.
