“Freedom From Hurts, Offences, &
Bitterness”
Missionary-Evangelist Esther Thornton
God
wants us to be free and to have love and joy in our hearts! Here are some
things to make you smile:
An
elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services
when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing
her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!”, (which says,
“Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be
forgiven“). The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the
police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take
him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady
did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?”
replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”
****
And, now for
a couple of “Senior Moments”:
Two
elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had
shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had
been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one
looked at the other and said, “Now, don’t get mad at me…I know we’ve been
friends for a long time…but I just can’t think of your name! I’ve thought and
thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”
Her friend
glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally, she
said, “How soon do you need to know?”
****
Two
elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the
dashboard. As they were driving along, they came to an intersection. The
stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went
through a red light.”
After
a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red
again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was
almost sure that the light had been red, but was really concerned that she was
losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to
the road and the next intersection.
At the next
intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she
turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!”
Mildred
turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”
****
I
think most of you have heard about the Jewish prophet in the 1800’s who had
written out 7 prophecies and put each one in an envelope, to be opened on the
date that he wrote on them. Six of the envelopes have been opened and proved to
be accurate prophecies with the events that have taken place during the time he
wrote the date on them.
The
seventh envelope was the last one, and it was to be opened on Passover of this
year. We were very interested to know what the envelope contained. The
information had come from Barbara Richmond, who has a ministry in Israel.
A
Jewish man who listens to my radio broadcast in Portland has been checking with
Barbara Richmond from time-to-time, and finally found out what is happening. He
called me on Wednesday of this week to say that he got a hold of Barbara’s
ministry and he was told that the seventh envelope was opened on Passover of
this year, but that it’s contents will not be revealed. That suggests to me
that it could be too bloody to reveal. Do you remember that Benny Hinn got the
message - “Rivers of blood”? We know that we are living near the end of time
when Jesus will return.
As
most of you know, the planet of Mars is visible right now near the moon. This
is a very unusual sight. Mars was given its name by the Romans in honor of
their god of war. So, how timely that this planet would be so visible right
now, with wars and rumors of wars in the land. And, the two great wars are no
doubt not too far off in the future - the War of Gog and Magog (where Russia
and the Arab nations will come against Israel) and then, of course, The Battle
of Armageddon, where the blood will be up to the horses bridles. Some have prophesied that there will be wars
all over the world at the same time, in these last days before Jesus comes.
The
Muslim religion is now a huge threat to the nations of the world. But, we want
to reach the Muslim people with the gospel. We want everyone in all the world to
have an opportunity to come into the ark of safety before it is eternally too
late. We are truly living in the last
days of the church age, before the coming of the Lord.
There
is such a breakdown of morals and deviation from the scriptures - as in the
days of Noah, and of Sodom and Gomorrah. A recent example of this is the gay
bishop who has been received in the Episcopalian Church. Many of those dear
people in that denomination are crushed, and we need to uphold them in prayer.
A
female priest was interviewed on Fox News and they were talking about the gay
priest being received. She said this, “It should be clear that God calls people
from all walks of life! Can you imagine her saying God is in favor of this?!
People are living in such a delusion!
The Nigerian
man who Reinhard Bonke had on video, who came back from the dead, had more
details to say, than what we have
heard. But, we are living in difficult times, as Jesus is coming soon. Yet,
along side are the miracles that God can, and does do.
But,
we want to guard our hearts in these evil days, lest we should be deceived and
fall from our own steadfastness.
A man
and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each
morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then
we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The
husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do
it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.” Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides
it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Husband replies, “I
can’t believe that - show me.”
So
she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top
of several pages, that it indeed says………”Hebrews” (He brews).
I
guess if that’s all the problems they have between them, in their marriage,
then they are fortunate!
* * *
Hurts, Offenses, & Bitterness: These are things that we all need to be free of,
particularly right now in these last days before Jesus comes.
These are
progressive things.
Usually,
at first we are hurt, but then the more we think about what someone has said or
done, we then become offended. Webster’s dictionary says that an offense is “something
which outrages the senses.” An offended person is “hurt, wounded, upset,
insulted, disappointed, irritated, angry and so forth.
Then,
if an offense is allowed to stay in our lives, bitterness will occur.
Heb.
12:15 says, “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of
God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be
defiled.”
What
are the Secrets to handling these things?
As
long as we live, we cannot escape hurts, because we are human. But there are
wise ways to handle things, and we need not fall prey to them. Here are some
ways to be wise when we are hurt:
v
Die
Completely to Self –
A
dead man is never offended!
Some
Christians walk in bondage to continual hurt feelings, because they have not
yielded their sensitive feelings to the Lord and died to the self-life
completely. You can kick a dead man and it will do nothing to him! He will not
become offended! Why? Because he is dead. We are to be dead to sin, but alive
unto Christ! (Gal. 2:20)
v
Nip
it in the Bud
So if
hurts, offenses, and bitterness are a progressive thing, then the secret is for
us to guard our hearts when we first get hurt by someone and nip it in the bud.
A lady I know used to say that we need to spray ourselves with Pam, the cooking
spray, so that no offence can stick to us! Tears are fine, and taking the hurts
to God immediately in prayer is the answer. You may have to repeatedly pray but
tell them to God and we should not tell others for the sake of self-pity or
gossip. (I’m not talking about going to counselors here if you need to).
Don’t
let it dwell in your mind, as that is Satan’s trick to make a mountain out of a
molehill! Have thick skin but keep a
tender heart.
v
Guard
from Causing Offences to others
Be
gentle, protective, and kind! We
should take care to be gentle with people, especially those young in the Lord,
so as not to cause them to sin by taking offense. But, we cannot protect them
like they are in a glass bubble. And, we cannot take their problems of
insecurity and such onto ourselves but recognize that these things come from
personal struggles within them. We must patiently and lovingly encourage them
to grow up in the Lord.
Apply
love and forgiveness. Paul says that we who are strong should bear
with the scruples of the weak and not to please ourselves (Rom. 15:1). And,
even as Jesus lay down His life for us, we are to lay down our lives for the
brethren. The Bible says that “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
We
should encourage the weak, and not discourage them. If we are truly spiritually
mature, it will show in our love and acceptance of the brethren. If we do not
forgive others, then God will not forgive us.
I
want to make reference again here to the Nigerian pastor who died and came back
to life. He was not willing to forgive his wife when they had a quarrel that
morning before the accident. And so, he was told by the Angel that God had not
forgiven Him of the sins he had confessed on his deathbed in the hospital,
because he refused to reconcile with his wife. But, he had another chance to
come back, which most people don’t. So, it is very important to forgive, for we
may not have another chance.
If you love your brother, you are
walking in the light and there is no cause for stumbling in you. (I John. 2:10)
“And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God for Christ’s sake has
forgiven you.” (Ephesians
4:32)
Love is the ultimate cure for offences.
It will eradicate self-centeredness that thrives on its own interests and
rights and will forgive those who disappoint us….for love will cover a
multitude of sins. (I Peter.
4:8)
v
The
real source of offenses:
Persons
who cause offenses are usually easily offended themselves. Why? Because “being
offensive” and “being offended” have the same root - self! A “self” person is
rude or inconsiderate because they are self-centered. Some don’t act
inconsiderately, but have a hidden self-problem, perhaps they seek to control
others, even in a hidden way by a quiet manipulation. A person who is offended
feels sorry for himself and has self pity. His answer does not come in life,
even that he is praying for, because he is not putting God first and is not
dead to himself.
Even
if you get a prophecy, you have to act upon it by receiving it and acting
properly upon it. God does not want us to stop and camp on a prophecy, but to
believe that He will unfold it in His timing and to be at peace. Some people
even want to control and demand things from God.
Offences
feed on self. We must leave the self-life behind and walk in the Spirit. We can
be “unoffendable,” as we die to self and walk in the Spirit. (It was after 1:00
A.M. when I was preparing this lesson and Bob was asleep. But, I had to chuckle
to myself as I was proof reading this paragraph, as I had put that we can be
“unaffordable”, instead of “unoffendable”. I knew I would get a hearty
“Amen” out of my husband on that one if he were awake to hear it!)
v
False
Expectations:
Most
hurt feelings occur from the result of disappointments in people. However, we
should remember that human beings are not perfect. We must place our
expectations in the Lord.
(Psalm
62:5) “My soul, wait silently for God alone. For my expectation is from
Him.”
Mature
believers should know not to put an infallible sense of trust in other
Christians, even in pastors, or ministers, realizing that these leaders are
still just human beings, capable of making errors (2 Corinthians 10:12). The
Apostle Paul said for them to follow him, as he followed Christ. In Romans
chapter 7, Paul says that he knows that in his flesh dwells no good thing - he wills
to do good, but he doesn’t always do it. In other words, he’s human!
We
should not put our eyes on people, who can fail, but keep our eyes on Jesus. (Hebrews
12:2). He will never let us down. “It is
better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.” (Psalm 118:8)
And,
sometimes offenses come because we expect people to fulfill our lives rather
than God. At the deepest level, our soul was created to find its security in
God, not man. Instead of burdening people with our expectations, we need to
just let them be themselves - no strings attached. If our loved ones do choose
to meet our expectations, it should be by choice, and not demands, in order to
have a loving relationship. Even in marriage, we are not slaves to one another.
We are to love and serve one another out of that love. Jesus said the greatest
among us would be the servant of all.
We
have certain responsibilities to one another in a marriage, but we are not to
view it as demands. How much better if the husband does not just push the wife
in her cooking or cleaning, but appreciates what she has been able to do. And,
how much better for a wife not to expect her husband to listen to all her woes
or work at home when he comes home from work tired - but to rub his shoulders
and to cook his favorite meal because she has chosen to bless him.
Our
attitude with others should be the same - let understanding come before
expectation.
One
day when we were in Kenya, Pastor Mophat was late in coming home one night. He
came into our room at his home to talk with us. Several AIDs children had died at the orphanage there and his heart
was broken. I took one look at him and knew how exhausted he was! So, I asked
him to sit down and I removed his shoes and rubbed his feet. He was quiet but looked
more relaxed. And, then he said to me: “There are many bosses, but few
servants.” I never forgot that experience. We could have reacted at first by
asking why he was so late, when we were waiting to see him. But, because we
understood, we chose a different reaction.
False
expectations can be a source of many deep offenses. However, the worst of these
is when we are offended with God, Himself.
In 2
Kings 5, we read the account of Naaman, a Syrian general, who had leprosy and
Elisha the prophet was called for his healing. Naaman and his entourage arrived
at Elisha’s house, and Elisha didn’t greet him personally, but sent a servant
to give him instruction: “Go and dip seven times in the Jordan
River“. The muddy Jordan River,
and Elisha hadn’t even greeted him personally! Naaman was furious! An offended spirit is an angry spirit. Do
you find that you are always mad at a particular person? It’s because they have
offended you and you haven’t forgiven them.
Naaman
said: “Behold, I thought, ‘He will surely come out to me, and stand and
call on the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place, and
cure the leper.”
Catch
the phrase, “Behold, I thought…” In truth, Naaman was not offended by Elisha,
but by his own expectations. But, when he finally submitted, and dipped seven
times in the Jordan River, his skin became as a little child’s and so did his
spirit, as it now took on the humility of a child.
God
gives grace and faith unto the humble. We want God to put us in an elevated
place, but He is, first of all, concerned that we humble ourselves and do not
become offended in Him. The act that God brings to us, will either humble us or
offend us. But, it is the doorway to greater things. An ‘unoffendable ‘ heart of love overcomes all
adversity.
We
ask God to change us. And, so, He sometimes puts us in situations that offend
us, but it awakens us to our need of grace. He allows this to transform us
where we need it. He doesn’t want us just to be a survivor, but to become
Christlike in it. With Joseph, the land of offence became the land of his
anointing and power. The destiny of man unfolds or dies at the junction of
offence. How we handle offence is the key to our tomorrow.
(Psalm
119:165) “Great peace have they that love thy law, and nothing
shall offend them.”
v
Deliverance
from Bitterness:
A
young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class,
given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smith was known for his
elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary
and knew they were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a
nearby table were many darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of
someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would
allow them to throw darts at the person’s picture.
Sally’s
friend drew a picture of someone who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend
drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend,
putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the
face. Sally was pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.
The
class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students threw their darts
with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to
her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time
limits, asked the students to return to their seats.
As
Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn’t have a chance to
throw any darts at her target, Dr. Smith began removing the target from the
wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room
as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks
covered His face and His eyes were pierced.
Dr. Smith said only these words…” In as much
as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto
Me. (Matthew 25:40)
No
other words were necessary, the tear filled eyes of the students focused only
on the picture of Christ.
There
are two conditions of the heart that no one can hide: one is when the heart is
filled with love, and the other is when we are infected with bitterness. Either
one will affect our entire life. And, how successful we are at revealing
God’s love, is the true measure of our spiritually.
On
the other hand, we have bitterness, which is not seeking oneness as love does,
but is seeking justice. Bitterness is a prosecuting attorney building a case
against the guilty.
Francis
Frangipane said that in his 34 years of walking with the Lord, there were many
times he was slandered, defrauded or unfairly attacked. And, not every wound
was immediately healed. But, Jesus said, “By your
patience (endurance) possess your souls (Luke 21:19). Even
if we lost all things, but if we gain Christ, what does it matter!
God’s
highest goal for us is our conformity to Christ. And, if Jesus learned
obedience through the things that He suffered, we too will be hurt and
mistreated at times. But, we can learn from every experience and it gives us
the opportunity for spiritual growth. Sometimes my healing from wounding came,
not because restitution was made by the person who hurt me, but because I
learned to entrust myself to God who judges righteously - that He will
vindicate me in His time.
Matthew
5:11-12 tells us that when we are persecuted, we are to leap for joy! Francis
Frangipane said that he was standing in his church sanctuary and trying to obey
this verse. But, he felt no joy. He was so emotionally drained that he had no
joy - he could hardly walk, much less leap. Yet, in obedience he tried a feeble
jump. Then again, and again, until the Holy Spirit broke through, and he was
shouting and leaping before the Lord, rejoicing in God’s power in his life!
When we begin to obey the Word of God, it is small, but it will bring us the
victory. And, soon we will be shouting the praises of God!
We
should consider also that, if Satan is set on destroying us, it must be because
God has something powerful coming up for us. Bitterness is a demonic
manipulation of a wound or injustice that we suffer in our soul. This root must
be plucked up so that we are free to serve God completely.
In
Exodus, the Israelites went three days without fresh water. When they finally
found water, they could not drink it because it was bitter - This place was
called, “Marah“, which means “bitterness“. (Exodus 15:25). But, then God showed
Moses a tree and he cast it into the waters, and they were made sweet. This was
prophetic of the cross of Christ. When it is applied to our bitter situations,
it turns them sweet. When people wound us, and we apply the cross to our lives
- forgiving, blessing and letting love rule - the outcome will always be a
greater manifestation of Christ in our lives.
v
We
can be Unoffendable:
(Ezra
36:26) God says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit
within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a
heart of flesh.”
Jesus
has warned us that at the end of the age, a majority of people will be offended
to such a degree that they fall away from the faith. “Then shall
many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another…and
because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matthew 24:10-13).
Jesus
mentions three things here: betrayal, hatred, and cold love. When someone
offends us, even someone that we love, we are to go to them. Otherwise, we
begin to betray that relationship, talking behind their back to others,
exposing their weaknesses and sins. This is showing revenge toward the one who
offended us. It is easier to begin the race than to finish it. But we must have
endurance to the end. We must confront the things that bother us and resolve
them according to God’s Word.
Many
people have become spiritually paralyzed from an offence, because they refused
to deal with it properly. And, many churches have people in them who are easily
offended and cannot grow beyond their inability to accept correction. We need
to ask God what needs to be changed in our own lives, and then to be wise, even
if a Godly rebuke has been given to us. And, then we will prosper. (Proverbs
17:10). But, many are immature and self-serving and will take offence in a
church or group and leave. And, then they just carry their problem to the next
place that they go. But, if we take a personal offence the right way, we will
become more Christlike. It will also help us to understand how others feel who
are hurt
Story:
The Weathered Barn
A
stranger came by the other day with an offer that set me to thinking. He wanted
to buy the old barn that sits out by the highway. I told him right off he was
crazy. He was a city type. You could tell by his clothes, his car, his hands,
and the way he talked. He said he was driving by and saw that beautiful barn
sitting out in the tall grass and wanted to know if it was for sale. I told him
he had a funny idea of beauty.
Sure,
it was a handsome building in its day. But then, there’s been a lot of winters
pass with their snow and ice and howling wind. The summer suns beat down on
that old barn till all the paint was gone, and the wood has turned silver gray.
Now the old building leans a good deal, looking kind of tired. Yet, that fellow
called it beautiful.
That
set me to thinking. I walked out to the field and just stood there, gazing at
that old barn. The stranger said he planned to use the lumber to line the walls
of his den in a new country home he was building down the road. He said you
couldn’t get paint that beautiful. Only years of standing in the weather,
bearing the storms and scorching sun, only that can produce beautiful barn
wood.
It
came to me then. We’re a lot like that, you and I. Only it’s on the inside that
the beauty grows with us. Sure we turn silver gray too…and lean a bit more than
we did when we were young and full of sap. But the Lord knows what He’s doing.
And, as the years pass He’s busy using the hard wealth of our lives; the dry
spells and the stormy seasons; to do a job of beautifying our souls that
nothing else can produce. And to think how often folks holler because they want
life easy.
They
took the old barn down today and hauled it away to beautify a rich man’s house.
And, I reckon one of these days soon, you and I’ll be taken away to Heaven to
be with the Lord in His house. And I suspect we’ll be more beautiful then for
the seasons we’ve been through here…and just maybe even add a bit of beauty to
our Father’s house.
What the
caterpillar considers the end,
the
butterfly considers the beginning.
God
wants to give us freedom and beauty within, and a new hope and encouragement to
go on to bigger and better things in Him!
Esther
