Whispers From Heaven
Nancy
Bauer, Washington
LAUGHTER!
GOD’S MEDICINE FOR A HAPPY
FAMILY!
JOKE: AT Sunday school they
were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later
in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said,
"Johnny what is the matter?"
Little
Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a
wife."
[]
God has a sense of humor. I can attest to this, being that He created my
husband. And for an extra “hoot”, God created the cartoon, “Sponge Bob” to
annoy my husband.
When my granddaughter was told she was the
daughter of Abraham, she piped up with, “How can I be? My last name isn’t
Lincoln!”
The Bible says we are created in His image
(Gen 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness….) and
since we are created like Him, we have His humor.
An example of His humor is in Judges Chapter
3, where it tells the story of Israel’s oppression from the oversized…ok,
obese, king Eglon. This rather large king made Israel pay a kind of tax to
acknowledge that his country ruled over them. Sorta like the school “lunch room
bully” who takes the weak kid’s lunch money.
Israel had had enough of this bullying and
sent Ehud, their left-handed-dagger-maker, to pay the “bully-tax”. But Ehud
literally had a trick up his sleeve…one of his double sided daggers.
After paying the “bully tax”, Ehud told
obese king Eglon, “I have a secret message for you”. Even though this was the
oldest trick in the book, obese king Eglon fell for it. He sent his “little
bullies” away and when they had gone, Ehud put his plan into action.
Just imagine Ehud bending WAY over to
whisper in the rather large kings ear….and then Ehud gives the king a reverse
tummy-tuck, without anesthesia.
Ehud then sneaks out a window.
The servants of large king Eglon start to
search for him but cannot find him. Finally they notice the bathroom door is
locked.
So they wait…and wait….and wait…..and wait.
Becoming MORE embarrassed, they wonder what he ate the day before…
and wait, and wait and wait.
Finally, not knowing what else to do, they
use the key to open the door….and there he was, dead on the bathroom floor.
Sorta sounds like a “comic murder mystery”,
doesn’t it?
Another example of the humor found in the
Bible is in Acts 20. A young man was listening to Paul preach. Paul must have
been rather long-winded that day, for this young man sat in the window sill to
catch a cool breeze,…I imagine keeping himself awake.
God’s moral to this story may have been to
“keep the message short” or “make your message interesting” because that young
man fell out of that third story window.
There’s even a talking donkey, abused by his
master, a man named Balaam. God allows that donkey to tell his master to knock
it off. (Numbers chapter 22). This was BEFORE the TV show, “Mr. Ed” was ever
thought of. Who knows, they may have gotten the idea from Balaam’s donkey!
Laughter. God created it for HIS use! And
how does He use it? To make His kids happy, to His families healthy and to
lighten our loads here on earth. (we always feel better after our stomachs are
weak with laughter).
Pro 15:15 All the days of
the afflicted are evil; But he that is of a cheerful heart hath a continual
feast.
Carol Sowell, from
MDA PUBLICATIONS, writes:
“Medical studies indicate
that laughter boosts levels of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and
suppresses levels of epinephrine, the stress hormone. Norman Cousins, whose
book; “Anatomy of an Illness”, tells how watching comedic movies helped him
recover from an illness that was predicted to be fatal, and is generally
credited with starting the scientific study of the effect of humor on physical
wellness some 20 years ago.
Science may consider
this a new field, but spiritual teachers, some physicians and most comedians
have known for centuries that laughing can take some of the power away from a
disease.”
What's significant
about the laughter was not just the fact that it provides internal exercise for
a person flat on his or her back - a form of jogging for the innards - but that
it creates a mood in which the other positive emotions can be put to work, too.
Yah, well, God knew
that…His Word says:
Pro 17:22 A cheerful heart
is a good medicine; But a broken spirit drieth up the bones.
And…
Job 8:21… He will make you happy and give you something to smile
about.
So, go ahead….be like
God! That’s the way He created you to be….FUNNY! And if you feel daring….LOOK
FOR THE “FUNNY” in all things, especially our family! God wants you to laugh!
(without hurting people, of course.)
So here’s something for you to think about:
A little boy opened
the big family Bible.
He was fascinated as
he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly something
fell out of the Bible.
He picked up the
object and looked at it closely.
What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look
what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you
got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in
the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
So, today I pray that
we all share laughter together! What better to lighten the load that the world
has tried to tie on us but the humor that God has created in us?
LAUGH! And the world
will laugh with you….whoever said that, must have been a Christian….who KNEW
the way to testify!
Love in laughter…
Nancy UMMA Bauer
….
MORE JOKES TO PROVIDE
INTERNAL EXERCISE:
The Three Wise Women
You do
know what would have happened if it had been three wise WOMEN instead of men,
don't you?
They
would have asked for directions,
ü arrived
on time,
ü helped
deliver the baby,
ü cleaned
the stable,
ü made a
casserole,
ü and
brought disposable diapers as gifts!
…
Where's God?
Two little boys were best friends at
church, but they both had a reputation for getting into trouble.
One Sunday, one of the boys was home
sick, but the other boy, not wanting to let his friend down,
was twice as bad as normal.
As he was running through the
sanctuary after church, the pastor grabbed him and angrily said,
"Where's God?!"
The little boy was frightened and
didn't know what to say.
The pastor continued, "I want
you to go home and think about it and I don't want you to come back
until you can tell me where God
is."
The boy went home and called his
sick friend on the telephone.
"Guess what," he said.
"They've lost God, and they're trying to blame that one on us, too."
…
God the Parent
Whenever
your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even
God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.
After
creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the
first thing He said to them was: "Don't."
"Don't
what?" Adam asked.
"Don't
eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.
"Forbidden
fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?
Hey,
Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"
"No
way!"
"Where?"
"Don't
eat that fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because
I am your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why He hadn't
stopped after making the elephants.
A few
minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.
"Didn't
I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.
"Uh
huh," Adam replied.
"Then
why did you?"
"I
dunno," Eve answered.
"She
started it!" Adam said.
"Did
not!"
"DID
so!"
"DID
NOT!"
Having
had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have
children of their own...
thus
the pattern was set, and it has never changed.
…
God is Watching
Children were lined up in the
cafeteria of a Christian school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large
pile of apples.
Someone had written a note and
placed it next to the apples.
It read, "Take only one, God is
watching."
Moving through the line, to the
other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One little boy wrote his own note
and snuck it next to the cookies,
"Take all you want, God is
watching the apples."
Three Friends Go to Heaven
After dying in a car crash, three
friends go to
Heaven for orientation. They are all
asked the same
question: "When you are in your
casket, and friends
and family are mourning over you,
what would you like
to hear them say about you?"
The first guy immediately responds,
"I would like to
hear them say that I was one of the
great doctors of
my time, and a great family
man."
The second guy says, "I would
like to hear that I was
a wonderful husband and school
teacher who made a
huge difference in the children of
tomorrow."
The last guy thinks a minute and
replies, "I guess
I'd like to hear them say, 'Look,
he's moving!"
God, Are You Listening?
A man was walking through a forest
pondering life.
He walked, pondered, walked, and
pondered.
He felt very close to nature and
even close to God.
He felt so close to God that he felt
if he spoke God would listen.
So he asked, "God, are you
listening?"
And God replied, "Yes my son, I
am here."
The man stopped and pondered some
more.
He looked towards the sky and said,
"God, what is a million years to you?”
God replied, "Well my son, a
second to me is like a million years to you."
So the man continued to walk and to
ponder... walk and ponder...
Then he looked to the sky again and
said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God replied, "My son, my
son...a penny to me is like a million dollars to you.
It means almost nothing to me.
It does not even have a value it is
so little."
The man looked down, pondered a bit
and then looked up to the sky and said, "God, can I have a million
dollars?"
And God replied, "In a
second."
…
A clown is like an
aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
- Groucho Marx
