Geoff's Jokes!
This page is to
prove that I (Geoff) am generally more funny that Mike or Brian by writing some
generally funny jokes. Some of them may be familiar to you, some of them might
not, but don't leave...I am trying to entertain you here...and if you are
reading Brian, this is another thing to talk about apart from work.
There's
and Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotchman and they get lost in the jungle and
captured by these cannibals. The cannibals tell them to go into the jungle and
pick 10 pieces of fruit each. So they all go out, pick 10 pieces of fruit and
bring them back to the 'cannibal chief'. The chief said to the Englishman
"so Englishman, now you must choose between death or Mau Mau". The
Englishman said " I will not bow to you savagers, I'll choose Mau Mau"
so they grab him and stick the 10 pieces of fruit (cherries) up his bum. Then
the Scotchman came along, he chose Mau Mau so they stuck his fruit (plums) up
his bum. Then the Irishman looked at his pineapples and said "I don't think
I can stand the Mau Mau, I'll choose death" so the chief said to him
"Death by Mau Mau"!
Why does the Avon
Lady walk funny? Because her lip-stick!
Why are there no aspirins
in the jungle? Because the parots-eat-em-all!
What do you get
if you sit under a cow? A pat on the head!
Person 1. You
know what they say don't you...
2. No...
1. bunnerdedjhso
2. What?
1. buimmergfkaho
2. I can't hear you..
1. I said BUMMERS ARE DEAF!
3 pieces of
string walk into a pub. The first piece of string walks up to the bar maid and
says "can I have a pint of beer please?" and the barmaid says
"No! your a piece of string". So the second piece of string goes up to
the barmaid and says "Can I have a pint of beer please?" and the
barmaid says "No, you can't, you are a piece of string". So the third
piece of string ties himself in a knot and frays his ends, then goes up to the
barmaid and says "Can I have a pint of beer please?" and she says
"Your not a piece of string are you?" and he says "No, I'm
a-frayed knot"!
Click on the pic to go home
Copyright © 2001 by Carla Rylance. All rights reserved.