(Anon-but true)

In the time of steamboat travel to the ports on Frenchman's Bay
There occurred a ship collision that's recounted to this day.

There are many versions of this and I wasn't there to say
So I'll have to tell you simply of the facts as told to me.

It involved the Sebenoa, on a standard routine trip
When from Hancock to Bar Harbor sailed that old Maine Central ship.

Captain Dickson quite distrusted both his jingler and his bell;
Adjectives that he hurled downward only speaking tubes took well.

Words to him came very quickly and he had them by the ream;
Potent his vocabulary, urgent his demands for steam.

Quartermaster's name was Riley, came from down Machias way,
Knew his duties, and he did them, seldom had a thing to say.

He was at the helm one morning, on a course the Captain made
While the captain read the paper, letting his attention fade.

On approaching Crabtree Lighthouse, Riley, when he thought he ought,
Swung the ship around the structure; captain's interest thus was caught.

Up he jumped and shouted, "Riley, when I give a course to steer,
Keep it 'til I say to change it, or you'll lose your job right here."

Further said he, "Riley, when a course is set for you
Your job simply is to keep it, you ain't steering no canoe."

In his most sarcastic manner, practiced over many years,
He berated Riley soundly, peppering his speech with jeers.

On the next and final passage, when this accident occurred,
Riley vowed that he would steer her and would utter not a word -

But would keep the course as charted, and should the captain read
He would see how near the lighthouse he could come at standard speed.

While he concentrated deeply on the steering now at hand
He miscalculated slightly On her thick protective band.

When that guardrail struck the lighthouse with a crashing, grinding noise
She began to settle forward, and she seemed to lose her poise.

Captain Dickson was up-ended, since no seatbelt was in place,
Landing in the starboard corner, striking mostly on his face.

"What'd we hit?" the captain bellowed, as he scrambled off the floor.
"Nawthin' but the lighthouse, Captain, want the same course as before?"

"No, you fool," he gruffly answered as he took the wheel in reach,
And he rang for full speed forward, headed for a sandy beach.

When her bow plowed up on gravel it was lifted high and dry,
Couldn't have been put there straighter if she'd had a second try.

Water rushed from forward freight-hold to the dining room astern;
Food was swishing off the tables just like butter in a churn.

Silent were her engines, And motionless her cams,
For her stem was in the alders, and her stern was in the clams.

Not a passenger was injured when she got that sudden bump,
But the players in a bridge game weren't sure what suit was trump.

After due deliberation by the powers based ashore,
They decided that young Riley would be sailing nevermore.

And the Captain was suspended for a month without his pay,
But some influential friends of his had quite a bit to say.

And arranged that his suspension be delayed to coincide
With the time of his vacation, if by rules he would abide.

This the Captain then agreed to, with one condition of his own -
That Riley not be fired, nor his former errors shown.

When asked for explanation why he took this stubborn view
He said, "It's a real good man that does what you tell him to."

Gone is the old-time steamer, gone is the lighthouse too,
And this episode now lives only in the minds of some of the crew.