An elephant and a crocodile were swimming in the Amazon, when the
elephant
spots a turtle sunning himself on a rock. The elephant walks over to the
turtle, picks him up in his trunk and hurls him far into the jungle.
"What
did you do that for?" asks the crocodile.
The elephant answers, "That turtle was the one that bit me almost fifty
years
ago."
The crocodile says, "And you remembered him after all these years? Boy,
you
sure do have a good memory."
"Yep," says the elephant. "I got turtle recall."
The 'Real' Story of the Three Bears!
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my
porridge," he squeaks?
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl,
and it is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge!," he roars?
Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,
"For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this?"
"It was 'Momma Bear' who got up first."
"It was 'Momma Bear' who woke everybody else in the house up."
"It was 'Momma Bear' who made the Coffee."
"It was 'Momma Bear' who unloaded the dishwasher from last night,
and put everything away."
"It was 'Momma Bear' who went out into the cold early morning air
to fetch the newspaper."
"It was 'Momma Bear' who set the table."
"It was 'Momma Bear' who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box
and filled the cat's water & food dish."
"And, now that you've decided to come downstairs and grace 'Momma Bear'
with your presence, ...listen good,'cause I'm only going to say this one time...
"I haven't made the @!#$%^&* Porridge, yet!!"
Kangaroo!
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.
A twenty foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo,
"How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
If you have enjoyed this page, why not send it to a friend?
