Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite...
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite...
Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck...
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately...
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...
What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries...
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball..
.
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving...
What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein...
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves...
What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends...
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts...
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel...
What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane...
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime...
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich...
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets...
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath...
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...
Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation...
1) What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
Hello, hello, hello.
2) What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?
A boo-loney sandwich.
3) What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.
4) What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a
drip-dry suit?
A wash-and-werewolf.
5) What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.
6) What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy.
7) Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
His ghoul friend.
8) Where do vampires live?
In the Vampire State Building.
9) Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
The whatwolves and the whenwolves.
10) What is a vampires favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.
11) What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's
brain in the body of his dog?
I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.
12) What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound.
13) Why are black cats such good singers?
They're very mewsical.
14) What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north.
15) What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.
16) Where do little ghosts learn to yell "BOO!"?
In noisery school.
17) What does a goblin shop for?
Grosseries.
18) How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.
19) What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.
20) Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience?
She had to give a screech.
One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as
'Rocky' in boxing gloves and satin shorts.
Soon after I gave
him some goodies, he returned for more.
"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep a few
minutes ago?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back
three more times tonight too."
What do ghosts and goblins drink on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid.
Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ?
Because there is lots of school spirit !
What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party ?
The cat are her !
What do witches eat at Halloween ?
Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie !
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.
"Are you a ghost ?" asked his friends
"No, I'm an unmade bed !"
Another boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.
"Are you an unmade bed ?" asked his friends
"No, I'm an undercover agent !"
What did the really ugly man do for a living ?
He posed for Halloween masks !
Why did the ghost go trick or treating on the top floor ?
He was in high spirits !
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ?
No one moved, they couldn't stir without her !
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party ?
Because he just came to pick up his sister !
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party ?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken !
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.
What's a MUMMY's favorite music?
WRAP Music!
Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office
What's a ghosts favourite fruit?
Booberries
Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE"
How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Boo! Boo Who?
Ah, don't cry, Halloween is just around the corner!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone.
What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
He's mist
Knock! Knock!
Who's there
Spook.
Spook who?
Spook a little louder. I can't hear you!
Q: What time was the Vampire's dentist appointment?
A: Tooth-Hurty (2:30)
When does a witch know it's time to trick or treat?
She looks at her witch-watch!
What do you get if you cross a vampire with Al Capone ?
A fangster !
What do you call an old and foolish vampire ?
A silly old sucker !
Why did the baby vampire bat wake up screaming?
He had bite-mares!
This globe was made by Val.
Click on it to go to her wonderful site!
