2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
4. What's another word for synonym?
5. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
9. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
10. Why do they report power outages on TV?
11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
12. Is it possible to be totally partial?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?
20. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
25. It's a dog eat dog world out there. And they're short on napkins.
26. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
27. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
28. Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
29. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
30. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
31. Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.
32. It must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how deteriorated the place is
33. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
34. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 35. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
36. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
37. How do you let someone know you've just painted a wet paint sign?
38. To compliment the vest why not some nice bullet-proof slacks?
39. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
40. And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "s in the word lisp?
