Words of Wisdom!
If at First!!!
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience
is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action,
there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening
until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full
view.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
To steal ideas from one
person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it
is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
1. Birds of a feather flock together and poop on your car.
2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to
look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is
that wrinkles don't hurt.
3 When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the
neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right
thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at
the tempting moment.
8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because
by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to
buy a replacement.
10. He who hesitates is probably right.
11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met
everybody.
12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in
mind to blame.
13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell
when he's really in trouble.
14. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip
around the sun.
15. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's
open.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth!
And my favorite is the difference between butt-kissing and brown-nosing is
depth perception.
