The Sink Was Full Of Fishes

3D of MAY, 1995
Lately I've chilled out about all this.I have talked with daddy about the way I feel, and he looked relieved since I did.He said frankly, but with warm care that he cannot get in full what is within my heart, since it takes more than even an immense love, and an immense interest we can have for someone like a son, to be really capable to mirror his soul, but that I looked radiant and shiny to him since Melania is here.
He said I shall just take the best from any day I live, and treasure it, like a gift.
Then he asked me what I think it's better, if to suffer because you've got to live an extraordinary experience, although brief, when it will be a memory, or to never touch the great things of life, to avoid the memory and the void they temporarily let you with, once they've ended. He said there's no real joy, in living the obvious not because we like it, but because we fear the rest.
He's right. Even if, oh, it will be a tragedy, and even if.. I would love if my perfect state could crystallize the way it is now, and never change.
Well, let's talk about small things now: Boys are at the top spot in the chart, and she's happier than I am!So far, she won't admit she treats Liam like an idol, and that she prefers him clearly to Noel.
Is this the Wild Charme? I don't remember when, nor who told me often girls of a superior sensitivity and brain likes to get linked with problematic ones, since they love to seek within them the vulnerable part they hide to the rest of the world.
But who knows, maybe instead she just loves brats and in that case, I'll be as well raunchy, and rude and violent as Liam is!
Anyway, when they scrolled the list of singles on the radio show of the Sunday, they interviewed Noel live, and she ran from the bathroom to not miss it realizing he was there.. due to the rush, she stumbled and almost crashed against the stereo, destroying it as well...She was as fast as a missile!When the interview ended, and they played Some Might Say, we called Marianne, who's a big fan of Take That, dethroned from Oasis...How cruel we can get?

8TH of MAY, 1995
Mourning time for us: just one week at the top of the chart, and then, blame and shame to a crappy rule about formats, they have lost their position!This even if technically they have been again the most bought ones. What a shit!
But again Meli was dealing with Noel speakin live on radio. That makes me enjoy myself like hell, she's so damn funny! Since she doesn't get really his language (how could she.. that's freaky!) she attach herself to the speaker, thinkin it will result clearer then, while it is the exact opposite, and when she desperatly realizes no words are understandeable for her, not even so, she makes all these cute faces, and those funny expressions with eyes and mouth.. oh, she's to be seen, really!
Today she claimed she will meet with the band, and she has to be capable to understand their slang by then!
That'd be unfair , I am trying to catch them from a life and if she would manage it in such a quick time, it would be absurd--- but in the end, she seems one who always come to realize her own dreams... who knows!
It's amazing to share also this further passion together. It seems we are made for being an item... it truely does.
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"How many vhs have you got about them Jill?"
"Ten, they must be ten so far...but some pieces are recorded more than just once."
"Look the way they act at last Top of the Pops! Liam is pissed as hell, and stoned. People in the first row are scared about him! Why being always so angry..."
"Liam's not always angry. Lately, my buddy met him in Camden, they had a lager together and he said Liam was absolutely funny and sociable."
"Maybe, but look at him at the show: he sings Aquiesce -clearly composed by Noel like a sort of brotherly love song- like he's saying back to his brother "fuck off"..."
"It's just that you don't know enough of their personal story..."
"Well, I know what you said me about it: that they grew poor, in a town and in a place in that town where gangsters are at home, and that they were little delinquents too someway..."
"But I didn't tell you they were hit constantly by a terrible father, who was beating their mother up too...Noel was the one more hit by his father, but Liam had to daily stand the violence he was seeing as reserved to his mother..."
"Oh my..."
"I am sure much of their difficulties at dealing with feelings and with one another as well is linked to this kind of troubled past... This is not always a valid reason to act like asses, but who are we to judge their anticts?"
"You say so, because you're a fan of them..."
" I am a fan of them? Just me? Guess who's speakin, the Liam lover..."
"I am not his lover... I just said once I find he's quite sexy..."
"You liar! I saw the way you keep and cut and paste all picture sof him from papers..."
"You spy!!"
"That's my right: I have to control a bit my girlfriend..."
"You don't have to be jalous.. you're better than Liam, more beautiful than he is..."
"See? but not sexier than him then.."
"Don't say this, you know you are!"
"Let's see... you can show me if you think I am sexy, let's go up, no one is in the house..." _______________________________________________________________