Confucious Says...

• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who run behind car get exhausted.
• Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
• Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
• Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
• Naked man fears no pick pocket.
• Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.
• Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.
• He who eats too many jelly beans, farts in living color.
• Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk!
• Show off always shown up in showdown.
• Man with no legs bums around.
• A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
• Woman who wear G-string, high on crack
• Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache
• House without toilet is uncanny.
• He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.
• Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
• Man who stand on toilet is high on pot
• Man who fart in church sit in his own pew
• Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
• Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
• AND THE NUMBER ONE CONFUCIOUS SAYING...TAKE MANY NAILS TO MAKE A CRIB, BUT ONLY ONE SCREW TO FILL IT!