IA: Internet Acronyms
OMGSTFUWTFLOLROFLBRBLMAO!!!!!111one!!
If you don't know what the above word(s) meant, then you are ignorant. The "hip" thing on the internet is using acronyms for shorthand instead of actual words. But you, perhaps either being under a rock the last eight years or perhaps too dull-witted to understand them, will need a guide to figure out what the hell these people are saying. I have such a guide.
LOL:
Lame OnLine. You'll hear this a lot, especially after a bad joke. It means that the one who said it is a complete tool and a jackass who needs a swift kick to the face.
WTF:
Where's The Flame. They're asking you to insult(flame) them.
LMAO:
Laying My Ass Out. This one means that the person is presenting you their backside and asking for rough, passionate anal sex.
STFU:
Stay There Flaming Us. Usually heard during an argument, they're asking you to stay online and keep insulting them. Go figure.
OMG:
On My Gut. This means the speaker has a porpoise sack gut and is balancing either food and drink upon it, and whatever you said sent them into a Java the Hut-esque laugh/rage, causing it to spill from the resulting earthquake. A variation is zOMG, where the "Z" stands for zombie and it means the speaker is being devoured alive by the undead ala Dawn of the Dead-esque guts being torn out.
WB:
We're Busy. Often used after someone returns from being away from the computer, the others are saying that during your absence, they've found better things to do than talk to you, like clipping their toenails. Nobody loves you anymore, and the world is going to collapse on you.
AFK:
After Fudge Keeblers. The person is trying to tell you that they're relentlessly pursuing Keebler elves in order to procure their delicious fudge cookies. And they won't let you have any, either.
I hope my list has been helpful for those seeking to start their internet chat career. In the future I may add some other terms so that our poor newbie friends don't have to suffer the indignity of having to ask what terms mean.