And I hate their kids, too.
People are annoying, obnoxious, have little concern or ability to comprehend there are about six BILLION other people just like them in the world and they aren't important, stink, are ugly and need to be shot. Not just the ugly ones, I mean. About 95% of all humans on the world... Bullet to the head.
When I rule the world, there's going to be a lot of changes. First thing we're doing: bombing Kentucky. Why, might you ask? Because of "hill people". "Hill people" are inbreeding rednecks who live in the Appalachian Mountains with little more than guns. First of all, I disapprove of inbreeding as it severely damages the gene pool and produces unwanted effects (such as Nascar fans and those who bought consoles solely to play sports games). Secondly, what the hell? "Hill people"? What the hell were they thinking? Good bye Kentucky!
Next thing I'd do is have an entourage. Not only would my entourage be beautiful, but they would be trained to be my body guards too, and I'd pick those too stupid to betray me and were unerringly loyal. Not only does this provide a place for the stupid blondes of the world, but there are the usual implications of being surrounded by a hot entourage that's not so bright.
I thought about it, and I'm locating my secret base in Europe. Where? It wouldn't be secret if I said. Rest assured it would kick ass, and it would be in an old-timey fifteenth century castle with gargoyles and crap all over the place. Not only would this provide an appropriate atmosphere for ruling the minions, but it comes with a built-in torture room to take care of pesky heroes and rebellion leaders.
Next, I'm giving everyone cable modems and computers. Everyone will be so busy playing with the internet they won't have time to start a rebellion. In conjunction, my gun laws will be quite strict. To own a gun, you must be either me, or one of my minions. The rest of you inbred hicks bitching about how important your guns are can suck it. If you require projectile weapons that badly, use a bow and arrow. Or better yet, use a knife. It's not impressive if you kill a deer with a gun. You kill it with a bowie knife and your bare hands and we'll talk.
Next, I'd own all the video game companies in the world. I'd outlaw sports games, and make the penalty for playing or developing them death. Also, I'd personally screen every video game in existence. If it sucked, I'd shoot the designers. That's all there is to it. Then I'd force everyone to agree that my taste in video games rules, I'd own every video game, and of course, I'd get to play them before anyone else. Sucks to be you, peasants.
Next comes a basic intelligence test. If you can't pass it, you die. If I decide you're an idiot, death. Simple as that. Sucks to be you, illiterate morons.
I'm sure there was more, but I can't remember it all. More as it develops.