We are on the Internet right now. Say what? Yes, you and I, together, are wandering (wondering.... wandering....) the WORLD WIDE WEB™ at this very moment. "Now, hold the phone," you say to me, handing me a rotary phone you found underneath some brush. I gingerly hold the phone as you continue, saying, "I thought you said we are on the Internet? What's this... WORLD WIDE." "Same diff," I interrupt, surreptitiously taking a heaping bite out of the rotary phone. "Tastes retro," I grimace. You also grimace, stating, "I should've told you. I apologize." "It's quite alright," I say, taking another bite that I immediately regret. "These things happen."
I reach inside my parachute pants pockets, and pull out a freshly folded stack of trillion dollar bills. "You might be asking, 'What is the future of the Internet?' I say, 'What ISN'T the future of the Internet?' You might then ask, 'Okay, what about the future of America?' to which I would reply, 'Which America? There's a North, a South, a Central...' during which you will nod, saying, 'You know which one I mean,' and I say, 'No, I don't ASSume those sort of things, because you know what they say about ASSuming, right?' to which you will likely say, 'It makes an ass out of you and me,' to which I will smile and say, 'I've always said it makes an ass out of your Japanese friend Ume,' and you chuckle politely, chewing on your fingernails and avoiding direct eye contact." You nod, saying, "You have just summed up what would've likely been our conversation." I wave the stack of bills in front of your face. Your eyes follow the wad like a junkie's eyes would also follow the wad, except that your interests are not to buy drugs.
The future of America is the Internet. The future of the World is the Internet. The future of the future is the Internet. I cannot speak for the Universe. Who the hell knows what's going to happen up there? I jump into my pirate ship and sail off into the sunset. You let a single tear drip from your right eye, but right before it cascades down your cheek, you wipe it away with a trillion dollar bill I lent you (LENT YOU).
This is the Future.
undefined