Answers
The names of the Beatles/John Lennon songs appear in red.
John looked into the questioning faces of the talented singers and musicians who had (1) come together in his Manhattan high-rise apartment at his request. A few of them had traveled from as far away as California, London, and Paris to attend the impromptu meeting, yet now that they were all gathered in his living room, he did not quite know where to begin.
"What's up, man?" Jimi asked. "What was so urgent that we had to drop everything and hurry here to New York?"
"It had better be important," Jim said. "I was supposed to take my girlfriend out to dinner tonight. It's her (2) birthday, and she's really pissed off that I had to cancel our plans. No doubt (3) when I get home, there'll be hell to pay."
"I'll get right to the point then. I'm thinking of forming a band and going out on the road again," John announced.
"So? You couldn't tell us this over the phone? You had to summon us all to New York instead?"
"I intend to do it (4) with a little help from my friends," he explained, including all of those assembled with a wave of his hand.
Several of the guests laughed. John had always had the reputation of being a joker who enjoyed playing his little (5) mind games on people, but those who knew him well could tell that their host was deadly serious.
"You're not actually considering making a comeback, are you?" Jerry asked with disbelief. "Now?"
He knew John had tried the whole comeback thing several years earlier. Although his record sold fairly well, the former superstar never came close to recapturing the glory days of his youth.
"Yes, I am," John answered without elaborating any further. "What about the rest of you?"
There was (6) no reply to this question. John's friends and fellow performers were too flabbergasted by his suggestion to speak. Not one of them knew what to make of his incredible idea.
"Come on," John goaded them, "don't tell me you haven't all at one time or another wished you could be out on the road again or longed to walk out on a stage and hear thousands of adoring fans scream your name."
"Sure," Jerry confessed. "I'll admit that I miss those good old days. Who wouldn't? Sometimes it seems like only (7) yesterday we were all young and full of piss and vinegar. We were at the top of the world, basking in the sunshine of fame and success. Lately, though, I feel as though we've all been left out in the (8) rain, metaphorically speaking. But face facts, man: the party has long been over. For Christ's sake, the only disc jockeys who still play our songs are those who work for the oldies stations. Our music is no longer relevant."
"You've got it all wrong," John argued. "I don't intend for us to perform our old stuff. I'm talking about writing all new material. We'll have a new and innovative sound, one distinctly our own. Just (9) imagine it. We could start a whole new (10) revolution in (11) rock 'n' roll music. Wouldn't that be (12) something?"
Jim shook his head in disagreement.
"(13) Wait just a minute now, John," he protested. "(14) I don't want to spoil the party you've got going here, but (15) I want you to seriously think for a minute about what you're saying. We lost so many of our fans after we stopped performing. They've grown old, and some have died. And the young kids aren't going to want to pay good money to see a bunch of senior citizens in concert."
"You're right, man. The fact that we're up there in years could present some problems," John conceded. "That's why (16) you won't see me or any of you on stage."
"(17) Slow down, will you?" asked Janis, the only (18) girl in the group. "I'm having trouble following you. You want to perform on stage, and yet you don't want to be seen?"
"It won't be easy, but (19) we can work it out with makeup and costumes. When Kiss went out on stage, do you think anyone recognized Gene Simmons or Paul Stanley? (20) All I've got to do is put on a little face paint and some sort of costume and (21) I will be totally inconspicuous. With the right amount of makeup, no one will be able to tell us from (22) Matchbox 20 or the Backstreet (23) Boys."
"That's your big idea?" Jim said with a groan. "Well, I'm not in favor of it. (24) I should have known better than to come here today."
Janis, known for being outspoken to the point of rudeness, was more direct in her opinion of John's idea.
She waved her hand in a farewell gesture and headed toward the door, calling over her shoulder, "(25) Good night, I'm out of here 'cause, frankly, your idea sucks."
"I'm leaving, too," Jim said, ready to follow her.
"(26) Get back in here," John called to them both. "Don't you realize (27) what you're doing? You're turning down the opportunity to be at the top again. If you continue to walk out that door now, you'll be going (28) nowhere, man."
"All right," Janis declared. "(29) Honey, don't fret! I'll stay for a while longer, but you (30) tell me why any of us should go along with this half-assed scheme of yours. We sure as hell don't need the (31) money. And neither do you. (32) Baby, you're a rich man, a millionaire many times over."
"This isn't about the money—or fame for that matter."
"Oh, what's it about then? Do you want us to do this out of friendship for you, John?"
"It's not for me or for you, (33) for no one at all, really. It's all about rock 'n' roll. Music has always been the most important thing (34) in my life. I was a poet, putting my (35) words of love and peace to music. Don't any of you remember what it was like back in the glorious Sixties?"
"Of course, I do," Jim answered. "But we'll never make it back to the top again, (36) not a second time."
"You can count me in, John," Janis finally said with a hoarse, boozy laugh. "I'll do it just to spite every male chauvinist pig who said, 'She's not a rock star; (37) she's a woman.'"
"(38) I'm so tired of hearing that women's lib crap, Janis," Jim declared. "There were a lot of female singers in the Sixties: Grace Slick, Cher, Lulu, Cass Elliot and (39) Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and Papas, Linda Ronstadt ...."
"And you can count them all on your fingers," Janis interrupted, holding up both her hands. Then she deftly made a fist out of them, leaving only the middle fingers extended. "(40) From me to you, sweetheart."
"(41) Ain't she sweet?" Jim good-naturedly asked his fellow male musicians.
The others only laughed at Janis's raucous humor.
"Watch it, Jimbo," Jimi teased. "If you get her mad, you'd better (42) run for your life."
Jerry joined in the merriment.
"(43) Do you want to know a secret, Jim? She may be tough on the outside, but deep down inside (44) she loves you."
"Yeah," Jim said, returning her vulgar gesture with an equally vulgar one of his own, "(45) and I love her, too."
The laughter died down, and John said seriously, "Look, Brian's agreed to (46) help us organize and manage this whole thing. He said we can start somewhere in the Midwest like St. Louis, (47) Kansas City or, better yet, some small town few people have ever heard of, and if we do well there, (48) it won't be long before we can go on to Los Angeles and New York."
"I must be crazy," Jim declared with a heavy sigh. "Don't (49) ask me why I'm doing this, but I guess you can count (50) this boy in."
* * *
"We look like a bunch of f---ing trick-or-treaters!" Janis exclaimed when she spied her reflection in the full-length mirror.
Her on-screen persona was to be the gorgon Medusa, the snake-haired creature from Greek mythology.
"Must you swear like a sailor at (51) every little thing?" the makeup man asked. "(52) Your mother should know how you talk!"
"I'm so sorry if (53) the word offends you, (54) honey pie. I just don't enjoy looking like an f---ing monster in front of (55) all my loving fans."
"That's (56) why we covered you up with makeup," the man replied sarcastically.
"That's it! I don't need this shit!" Janis screamed, pulling off her snake hair wig.
Throughout her career—all her life, in fact—there had always been snide remarks made about her looks—or rather, the supposed lack of them. The fact that she was no great beauty was a sensitive subject with the foul-mouthed singer.
"You can get (57) another girl, John. I quit!"
"(58) You can't do that," John replied. "(59) I need you. (60) Don't let me down now."
"(61) Oh, darling," she said, affectionately patting John's cheek. "I'm going to go out and get some fresh air. But don't worry, (62) I'll be back."
Then she turned toward the makeup man and delivered a final "f--- you!"
"(63) Anytime at all, dearie!"
The makeup man laughed, as he pointed John toward the chair.
"You're next," he said. "Now let's see. What should I do with you? I could cover your body with (64) chains, but I'm not sure you could (65) carry that weight and still perform."
"Maybe I can be a walrus just like Jerry."
"Hey, (66) I am the walrus!" Jimi called. "Jerry is dressed like a (67) little child."
"I don't really care what I look like, just as long as I don't look like myself," John declared.
"I've got it," the makeup man said. "(68) I've just seen a face the other day in a magazine that would be perfect for you!"
Taking his inspiration from a little-known rap group, he painted a face on John that looked half jester and half skeleton. Once the transformation was complete, John looked in the mirror.
"(69) Baby, it's you!" the makeup artist exclaimed. "What do you think?"
"(70) I want to tell you that you did a hell of a job," the singer-songwriter said. "In this face paint and crazy getup, not even my wife and kids would recognize me."
* * *
Brian was waiting for him when John arrived at the final rehearsal.
"How are the new songs coming along?" the manager asked.
"Some of them still need a little work. After all, I'm way out of practice. But they're (71) getting better with each new one I write."
As he spoke, John paced the floor, messaging his temples with his fingertips.
"They should be ready soon, but even if they're not, we've got more than enough material for the opening show."
"Are you okay, John?" Brian asked with concern. "When I saw you (72) the night before last, you looked unusually pale."
"(73) I feel fine, Brian. It's just that my stomach has been tied up in knots. With all the excitement of going on tour again, (74) I'm only sleeping a few hours a night at the most."
"You've got to take better care of yourself. You're not a young guy anymore."
"Between getting this band together and writing the new material, I'm working (75) eight days a week. I've been running around (76) helter-skelter, trying to be (77) here, there and everywhere at the same time. Sometimes I feel like (78) it's all too much, but this comeback is so damned important to me."
"Why? You've got nothing to prove. You were brilliant in your time. (79) There's a place for you in the annals of rock 'n' roll history already."
"Look, (80) if I needed someone to nag me, I would have ...."
John suddenly fell silent. He didn't want to take his frustration out on Brian of all people.
"I'm sorry, man. But you know the long hours (81) don't bother me, for such is (82) a day in the life of a rock star."
Then he comically donned his green and gold jester's cap that (83) Anna, a young fashion designer, had made for him, and danced about the room.
"Tell me honestly," he said, his eyes desperately searching Brian's, "do you think the jester makeup is enough to conceal my true identity?"
"(84) Yes, it is," Brian said truthfully. "In that getup, you look like poor Yorick himself."
Once reassured that his disguise would work, John's previous good humor returned.
"Alas, Hamlet, my lad, you knew me well!"
Amid all the gaiety, Jim walked into the room.
"I'm terribly sorry that I'm late. I had to (85) drive my car around the block three times. It's impossible to find a parking spot. (86) What goes on here? What's so funny?"
"Nothing," Brian answered. "The (87) two of us were just discussing whether or not the makeup and costumes would guarantee you all your much-deserved anonymity."
"They had better. If the police ever find me in this country again, they'll lock me up and throw away the key. And I don't relish sitting behind bars (88) when I'm sixty-four years old."
"Why are they after you this time?" John asked, knowing that Jim had had more than one brush with the police in the past.
"(89) Because of some back taxes, what else? I think I owe the government the equivalent of the national deficit."
"Well, you know what they say: the Lord giveth and the (90) taxman taketh away."
"Better stop that kind of talk, John," Brian joked, "I would have thought you learned by now that you can't make jokes about religion!"
* * *
"Has anyone seen Janis?" Brian asked when he counted only four of the five performers waiting in the wings before the start of the show.
"(91) I saw her standing there outside the ladies' room a minute ago," Jimi replied. "(92) Her majesty was talking about (93) fixing a hole in her costume, but she looked a little green around the gills if you know what I mean."
Jim nodded.
"She's either got stage fright or she's hitting the vodka again."
Janis returned momentarily, wiping her mouth with a wet paper towel.
"Don't worry, (94) woman," Jim told her. "If you want me to, (95) I'll get you a barf bag to hide inside the folds of your dress while you're on stage."
"You can't even leave me alone in my (96) misery," she said, throwing the used paper towel at him.
"(97) Thank you, girl. Now I'll smell as bad as you do."
"I need a drink," Janis moaned.
"Not now," John said. "(98) All you need is love and faith ... and a little luck."
"This is it," Jerry said, as the five disguised musicians prepared to go on stage before a live audience for the first time in many years. "I just want to (99) let it be known for the record, that I'm scared to death."
Thankfully, Brian was there to offer moral support and some last-minute advice.
"I know how nervous you all are, but just relax and (100) act naturally. Remember, performing is nothing new to any of you. And what you've each done before on your own or with other groups in the past, you can do (101) all together now."
As John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Jerry Garcia, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin braced themselves for the start of the show, Brian Epstein called John aside.
"I have a surprise for you. I think (102) there's a place in your band for another guitarist. Look who just arrived."
George Harrison, dressed like Edgar Allan Poe with a (103) blackbird on his shoulder, hugged his old friend and fellow Beatle in a reunion that brought tears to Brian's eyes. Then the house lights dimmed, and six legends of rock 'n' roll, whose souls had traveled to a small Midwestern town from (104) across the universe, took the stage for the greatest comeback performance in music history.
