Home for Christmas
Renee Cassidy sighed as she watched her four-year-old daughter, Bethany, sitting on her bedroom floor amidst a pile of preschool building blocks. It was time to break the sad news to her little girl, she realized with a heavy heart. She had put it off long enough.
"Beth, honey," she called, putting on a false smile for her daughter's benefit. "I have to talk to you."
"What, Mommy?"
Bethany stopped stacking blocks and looked at her mother inquiringly.
"You know that you and I are going to fly to Massachusetts tomorrow morning in a big airplane, right?"
"Sure. We're going to spend Christmas with Nana and Grandpa."
"That's right, honey."
"Daddy said it might snow in Mass-chew-sits," Bethany said, struggling to pronounce the four-syllable word. "If it does, I want Daddy to take me sleigh riding."
Renee turned her head and closed her eyes against the tears.
"That's what I have to talk to you about, honey. Remember a few months ago when I was watching television and started to cry?"
Bethany nodded.
"That was when the airplanes knocked down the two big buildings, just like this," she replied, pushing over her toy structure and scattering blocks across her bedroom floor.
"That's right. And it wasn't too long after that Daddy went with some of his friends in the Navy to look for the bad men who did that."
"Daddy said he was going to As-can-stand to look for tear-ests. Did he find them yet?"
"No, honey, not yet. He's still in Afghanistan." Renee took a deep breath and continued, "That's why he won't be able to come home and be with us this Christmas."
"I know Daddy's not coming home. He's gonna be at Nana's."
"No, sweetheart," Renee said, taking the little girl in her arms. "I'm afraid you won't see Daddy at all this Christmas."
Bethany started to cry.
"I want my Daddy. I want my Daddy."
"Listen, honey, you and I will have a nice Christmas with Nana and Grandpa. Then when Daddy does come home, we'll have another one. We'll decorate another tree, and maybe if you've been good, you'll get more presents. Won't that be fun, Beth? Two Christmases in one year?"
Bethany shook her head, still crying.
"I want my Daddy to come home. I want to see him at Nana's. He was gonna take me sleigh riding."
Renee kissed her daughter's wet cheeks and gently rocked her in her arms.
"Shhh! If it does snow, I'll take you sleigh riding. And that's not all. We can build a snowman, and you and I can challenge Nana and Grandpa to a snowball fight. And maybe, just maybe, I'll show you how to make a snow angel."
Bethany wiped her tears away with her tiny hands, leaving dirt smudges on her cheeks.
"Will Santa be in Mass-chew-sits?"
"Of course, he will. Santa Claus goes everywhere at Christmas time. He'll come here to the naval base to visit all of your friends who'll be staying here for the holidays, and he'll go to Marblehead and leave presents for you under Nana's Christmas tree. He'll even fly in his magic sled to Afghanistan to visit Daddy and all the other sailors and soldiers who can't be with their families on Christmas."
Bethany got down from her mother's lap and started to pick up her building blocks.
"Are you going to be all right, Beth?" Renee asked anxiously.
"Yes, Mommy. But I have to pick up my toys now so that I can write my letter to Santa."
Renee smiled. It hadn't been as difficult as she'd feared.
* * *
Muriel and Hank Weller waited impatiently at the American Airlines terminal at Boston's Logan International Airport for their daughter's flight to arrive.
"It's still so hard to believe," Muriel said cryptically.
"What's that, dear?" Hank asked.
"It's hard to believe that a little over three months ago two planes left this very airport heading for the West Coast and winded up crashing into the Twin Towers."
"Muriel," Hank said with exasperation, "I don't think that now is a good time to discuss the attack on the World Trade Center, not when Renee and Bethany are up there in an airplane."
The Wellers' anxiety was soon put to rest as Renee's plane landed safely.
"Nana! Grandpa!" little Bethany cried as she ran straight into her grandfather's waiting arms.
"Did you tell her yet?" Muriel whispered to Renee as she gave her a welcoming hug.
Renee nodded.
"I told her last night. At first, she cried for Stu, but then I was able to calm her down. Now she's more worried about writing her letter to Santa Claus than anything else. She must have written twenty or thirty rough drafts last night."
Bethany held tightly to her grandfather's hand as the family of four headed out of the terminal to the parking lot.
"Grandpa!" she cried, upon seeing the clear, blue Massachusetts sky. "There's no snow!"
"Of course not, Bethany," Hank explained, scooping his granddaughter into his arms. "It isn't Christmas yet."
"Oh," the little girl said with a good deal of relief. "I was afraid I missed it."
On the drive to her grandparents' home, Bethany looked out the window at the houses they passed. Most of them were decorated with Christmas lights, holiday wreaths, lawn ornaments and, this year, American flags.
Hank had tuned the car radio to an easy-listening station that was playing holiday music.
"Grandpa," Bethany asked, "play 'Jingle Bells' again."
"I wish I could, Beth," Hank laughed. "But this is a radio station, not a CD. There's a man sitting in a studio in Boston who decides what songs are going to be played."
As Bethany concentrated on sightseeing, she ignored Robert Goulet's version of 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' that the man in the radio station in Boston had decided to play next and continued singing, "Jingle bells. Jingle bells. Jingle, jingle, jingle bells. It's fun to ride in an old horse sleigh."
The three adults, who were discussing their plans for Christmas and New Year's Eve, paid little attention to the music on the radio.
"And now I've got a request from Fran in Cambridge going out to her daughter in California," the deejay announced in his rich baritone voice. "Here's Johnny Mathis."
I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love
even more than I usually do.
And although I know it's a long way back,
I promise you.
I'll be home for Christmas.
Bethany abruptly stopped her chorus of "Jingle Bells" to listen to Johnny Mathis.
You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree.
Renee grew silent and turned a shade paler when she realized what song was playing on the radio.
Christmas Eve will find me
where the love light gleams.
Muriel looked at her husband, silently begging him with her eyes to change the station.
I'll be home for Christmas,
if only in my dreams.
Muriel herself reached for the radio dial.
"Please don't, Nana," Bethany said, "I want to hear this song."
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me
where the love light gleams.
I'll be home for Christmas
if only in my dreams ...
if only in my dreams.
"Hey, do you know what we're going to do tomorrow, kitten?" Hank asked, somewhat louder than necessary. "Nana and I are going to take you to the mall, so you can get your picture taken with Santa Claus."
"Won't that be fun, honey?" Renee asked. "We can send it to Daddy."
"Yes, I wanna see Santa. Then I don't have to send him a letter; I can just tell him what I want for Christmas."
* * *
The Square One Mall in Saugus was crowded, but that was to be expected since it was only two days before Christmas. While Muriel and Renee went into Dick's Sporting Goods to do some last-minute shopping, Hank took Bethany to the center court of the mall to meet Santa Claus. Not surprisingly, there was a long line of eager children waiting patiently to sit on Santa's lap.
"Look, Grandpa. There's Rudolph," Bethany cried when she spotted the nine animatronic reindeer lined up in front of Santa's sleigh.
"His nose really does glow, doesn't it? And look, Beth, there's Santa's sleigh. See how many presents he's got for you."
Bethany looked at the brightly wrapped packages that she imagined held dolls, talking picture books and stuffed animals.
"I don't want any of those. I'm gonna ask Santa for a special present this year." Then she asked quite suddenly, "Grandpa, what's a mistletoe?"
"Mistletoe is a type of plant. At Christmas time, a piece of mistletoe is hung from a doorway or from the ceiling, and people who stand underneath it are supposed to kiss."
The line moved slowly, and Bethany began to lose interest in the mall decorations. Restless, she shifted her weight from one foot to the other and began singing.
"I'll be home for Christmas with snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree."
"Are you getting tired of standing, kitten?" Hank asked. "Would you like to sit on my shoulders for a while?"
"That's okay. We're almost there. I think I can make it."
Hank smiled lovingly at his granddaughter.
"I don't know about you, but all this waiting in line has made me hungry. I think once you've seen Santa, you and I will go over to the food court and get some pizza."
"Can I get a happy meal at McDonald's instead? One with chicken nuggets."
"Sure. I think there's a McDonald's on Route 1."
A little boy with freckles and carrot-colored hair got down from Santa's lap. Bethany stepped up onto the platform, walked over to Santa Claus and sat down.
"And what's your name, little girl?" the jolly, bearded man in the red suit asked.
"Bethany Cassidy, Santa."
"And have you been a good girl all year long, Bethany?"
She paused a minute to consider her answer to the question.
"I try to be, but sometimes I forget to pick up my toys."
Santa laughed in amusement, sharing the moment with the child's grandfather, a man he had known since high school.
"We can overlook that, I suppose. Now tell me, Bethany, what do you want for Christmas this year? A new car? A fur coat? A diamond ring?"
"Mommy told me you bring presents to kids but that adults have to buy presents for each other. This one time can I ask for something for my Daddy instead of for me?"
The mall Santa looked at Hank briefly and then replied, "I think it's very nice of you to ask for a gift for someone else. What do you want me to bring your Daddy?"
"Snow and mistletoe and some presents for him under Nana and Grandpa's Christmas tree—just like in the song."
"And do you want something for yourself, as well, Bethany?"
She nodded eagerly.
"Yes. I want my Daddy to come home for Christmas."
Hank turned his head away. He could not bear to see the look of hope on his granddaughter's face.
"I want all the sailors and soldiers to come home for Christmas, so they can be with their families. Can you do that, Santa? Can you get in your sleigh and fly to As-can-stand and bring my Daddy home for Christmas?"
The mall Santa cleared his throat. What was he to say? He couldn't, in all good conscience, lie to her and promise that he'd bring her father home, but what was his alternative? To deny her request and break her heart?
Hank came to Santa's rescue.
"Bethany, I don't think Santa Claus can fit anyone else in the sleigh. Besides, your father will be home soon, even if he doesn't make it in time for Christmas."
Bethany ignored her grandfather's words and desperately pleaded with Santa, "Will you please bring my Daddy home, Santa? I'll be extra good next year. I promise."
Hank picked the girl up off Santa's lap.
"Come on, kitten," he said gently. "We've got to get going. All these other children want to see Santa, too."
Bethany began to cry.
"Please, Santa," she sobbed.
The man in the Santa suit stood up, reached over and touched her cheek.
"I'll try, Bethany. I don't know if I can, but I promise you; I will try."
* * *
The following day was Christmas Eve, and Bethany awoke that morning to yet another cold but clear December day. After donning her bathrobe and slippers, she walked downstairs to the kitchen where Nana was making chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.
"It's not snowing," she announced with disappointment.
"Honey, we won't be going home until after New Year's," Renee said. "Even if it doesn't snow for Christmas, there's always the chance it will snow before we leave."
"It has to snow for Christmas. I asked Santa for snow."
Hank, who had been lugging boxes down from the attic, came into the kitchen and sat down beside Bethany. He took a small green branch tied with a red ribbon bow out of his shirt pocket.
"Do you know what this is?" he asked, holding it over his granddaughter's head.
Bethany looked up and smiled.
"It's mistletoe! Isn't it? It's one of the things I asked Santa to bring."
Her faith in Santa restored, the child cheerfully dug into her stack of pancakes.
While Muriel was doing her routine housekeeping, Renee and Hank began decorating the tree. Bethany was given the task of hanging the unbreakable ornaments from the lower branches.
"This reminds me of when I was a little girl," Renee declared nostalgically.
"When you were Beth's age, your mother and I would wait until you fell asleep on Christmas Eve before we put up the tree. Sometimes we wouldn't get to bed until after three."
"And then I'd wake you up at four, wanting to open my presents," Renee laughed.
Once the lights and ornaments were on the tree, Hank opened several packs of silver icicles. He handed one of them to Bethany and then raised her above the tree so that she could hang the shiny strands from the top branches. When the job was done, father, daughter and granddaughter stood back to admire the finished product.
"Are we done yet?" Bethany asked. "Can we put the big people's presents under the tree now?"
"I don't see why not."
Renee went to the bedroom and took the presents for her parents out of the closet. Then she and her daughter stacked the brightly wrapped gifts neatly under the tree.
"That makes two," Bethany announced, proudly holding up her thumb and index finger.
"I think you'd better count again, honey," Renee laughed. "There are more than two presents here."
"I asked Santa for three things for Daddy. The mistletoe," she said, holding up her thumb, "and the presents under the tree." She triumphantly pointed to the index finger. "That makes two. Now, all we need is the snow, and then Daddy will come home."
Unaware of the pain her mother was feeling, Bethany scampered happily off to the family room, singing, "I'll be home for Christmas if you have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree."
* * *
It was 11:00 p.m., and Renee sat with her parents in front of the blazing fire and the brightly lit tree.
"I guess I'll get Beth up now," she announced, looking at her parents' old grandfather clock.
"If you want to let her sleep, I'll stay home and watch her," Muriel offered.
"I think Bethany would be disappointed if I left her here. She's been looking forward to this ceremony all week."
Many citizens of Marblehead planned to gather around the town Christmas tree, where at the stroke of midnight, they would light candles in remembrance of those who had died in New York, Pennsylvania and Washington, D.C., on September 11.
As Renee bundled Bethany up in her coat, hat, scarf and gloves, she realized how lucky she actually was. Stu may be stationed thousands of miles away and unable to spend Christmas with his family, but at least he was alive and well. Renee buttoned her own coat, grabbed the matches and candles from off the kitchen table and joined her parents who were waiting with Bethany in the foyer.
When Hank opened the outer door, Bethany let out a cry of joy.
"It's snowing!"
She ran outside and tried to catch the falling flakes in her gloved hands.
"They melted," she said with disappointment.
"That's because your hands are warm from being inside," Muriel explained.
As his wife headed toward the Subaru Outback parked in the driveway, Hank suggested, "Why don't we walk? It's not far. Would you like that, Beth?"
"Yes, Grandpa. I want to walk in the snow."
The three adults buttoned their coats and started toward town while the little girl skipped ahead of them singing, "We have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree."
Along the way, they joined friends and neighbors who were also walking, and they waved to those who drove past in their cars. More than a hundred people were already gathered near the tree when the Wellers arrived. Renee looked at her watch. It was 11:45.
"Renee!" a woman's voice called. "When did you get back?"
It was Joyce, an old schoolmate.
"Beth and I flew in on Wednesday."
"This can't be Bethany!" Joyce exclaimed. "She's gotten so big since the last time I saw her. Where's Stu? Didn't he come with you?"
"No, he was sent to Afghanistan in September."
"Daddy will be here soon," Bethany proudly told Joyce. "I asked Santa to bring him and all the other sailors and soldiers home so they could be with their families on Christmas."
Renee reached up and brushed a tear from her eye with a gloved hand.
"I'd better go," Joyce said uncomfortably. "It was nice seeing you again. Merry Christmas!"
More people arrived as midnight drew closer. At 11:55 Mayor Gordon asked everyone to form a circle around the tree. Then as the mayor counted down the final ten seconds, people began to light their candles. Those with religious beliefs offered prayers to their gods, while those who doubted the existence of a supreme being bowed their heads in respect. The clock began to strike midnight.
"Muriel," a stranger at Nana's side softly spoke her name.
"Yes?" Muriel turned to face a young man wearing the dress uniform of the U.S. Navy.
Muriel stared at the sailor. There was something about him that looked familiar. Where had she seen that face?
"Muriel!" the man repeated, smiling broadly. "Merry Christmas, my little angel."
"Dad?" Muriel asked, her eyes filling with tears.
How could it be her father? He had died on the U.S.S. Arizona when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor in 1941.
"Daddy!" she cried with certainty, remembering the last time she had seen him, the day he left for Hawaii.
Muriel Weller was not the only person visited by a spirit from the past. Miss Goldsmith, the elderly high school principal, was briefly reunited with her former fiancé who had been killed in Korea. Police officer Dave Larson saw his grandfather who was killed at Iwo Jima. Even Mayor Gordon fell to his knees and wept when his son, who had been reported missing in action in Vietnam, came home to wish his father a Merry Christmas.
Bethany paid no attention to the exclamations of surprise and joyful tears of the adults around her. She was far too busy searching for that one special face in the crowd of people that towered over her. It was Renee who saw him first.
"Stu!" she squealed as she ran to her husband and covered his face with kisses.
Moments later a very happy little girl was swept up into her father's arms.
"Merry Christmas, Daddy," she said, silently thanking Santa Claus for bringing her father all the way from As-can-stand.
Bethany's Christmas miracle was not limited to the people gathered around the tree, to those living in Marblehead or even to the people of Massachusetts. During the first few minutes of that unforgettable Christmas morning, brave men and women stationed across the globe and those who had died in battles throughout the years kept their promises to the loved ones they had left behind. Regardless of the uniform they wore, their nationality or the government for which they fought and possibly died, those brave men and women, at last, came home for Christmas.
* * *
Aboard an aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea, Lieutenant Stuart Cassidy woke with a start. He looked nervously around the ship, afraid someone had seen him sleeping on duty. Luckily, he was alone. The happiness he'd felt while deep in his dream still lingered. It had seemed so real! Even awake, he could almost see the snow in the air, smell the giant evergreen tree and feel the warmth of his wife and daughter in his arms.
Unaware that every man and woman aboard the ship and serving across the globe was recovering from a similar dream, Stu poured himself a large cup of strong coffee to help him remain alert while on duty. As he drank the black, bitter brew, Stu turned on the radio atop his desk. He smiled at the Johnny Mathis song that was coming to an end.
I'll be home for Christmas,
if only in my dreams ...
if only in my dreams.
"I'll Be Home for Christmas" words and music by Kim Gannon, Walter Kent and Buck Ram, © MCA Music.
Every year, Salem's Christmas list grows. Last year it was longer than the Great Wall of China.
