My Boyfriend's Back
Twenty-year-old Donna Henson, a pretty college student from Plymouth, met twenty-two-year-old Boston-born Joey Walters at a homecoming dance held at the University of Massachusetts campus in Lowell. When he walked out onto the stage, she was immediately attracted to the black-haired, blue-eyed musician.
"Isn't the singer cute?" she asked Romy Irwin, one of the girlfriends who went to the dance with her. "He reminds me of a young Ricky Nelson."
"Ricky who?"
"I don't suppose you know who he is—or was—since he died in a plane crash back in 1985."
"I thought that was Buddy Holly."
"Wrong plane crash. Buddy Holly died in 1959 along with Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper."
"Well, I don't know much about the singers from that era, but I do agree with you that the one up on stage is good-looking."
Joey Walters was no college student. While still in high school, he and three of his friends had formed a group that played local clubs, weddings, parties and school dances, delighting audiences young and old with their rendition of golden oldies from the pre-Beatles days of the late Fifties and early Sixties. Although most of the younger people in their audiences were unfamiliar with the songs they sang, they occasionally found people who sang along with "Under the Boardwalk," "Jailhouse Rock," "Mack the Knife" and "Poison Ivy."
In addition to the physical attraction between Donna and Joey, it was their mutual love of early rock 'n' roll music that first drew the two young people to each other. They had both grown up listening to their parents' old records, which had fostered in them an appreciation for the hits of the Four Seasons, the Supremes, Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, the Shirelles, the Drifters, the Beach Boys, the Temptations, the Everly Brothers, Johnny Rivers and many other legendary performers.
Although the band's good-looking, charismatic lead singer was not in the habit of picking up girls who attended his performances, Joey made an exception in Donna's case. Captivated by the striking redhead with the dazzling green eyes, he asked her out when the group took a ten-minute break between sets. Despite his Ricky Nelson looks, her initial instinct was to refuse. He was a stranger, after all, and a girl could not afford to take chances with her safety. However, she abandoned her usual caution when he suggested she bring a girlfriend along.
"Just in case you think you might need protection," he teased, melting Donna's resistance with his smile.
"That won't be necessary. You look harmless enough," she replied, matching his good humor. "Besides, I always carry a can of mace in my purse—just in case."
After grabbing a pepperoni pizza and two Cokes at a nearby Italian restaurant, the two went to a late-night showing of the movie Fight Club. They had such a pleasant time that first night that they soon began dating on a steady basis. Initially, the relationship was good for both of them. Not only did the couple have a great deal of fun together, but they seemed to have a lot in common besides their taste in old music. Both loved animals, followed the Red Sox, were liberal Democrats and enjoyed spending time at the beach.
The only serious impediment threatening the blossoming romance was the couple's inability to find time to see one another. Donna was a full-time college student who worked a part-time job, and Joey performed with his band nearly every weekend. Still, as the old saying goes: love will find a way. Whenever her school and work schedule permitted, Donna would attend Joey's gigs, and at the end of each performance, he would sing a special dedication to her: the late Ritchie Valens's classic ballad, "Donna."
As time passed, however, things between the young lovers started to sour. Joey became increasingly possessive and jealous, even though Donna gave him no reason to doubt her fidelity.
"I don't like the way that guy at the snack bar was staring at you," he complained as they were driving home from Cape Cod one summer evening.
"It's nothing for you to worry about. He was only looking; he never approached me."
"Well, maybe if your bathing suit wasn't so revealing."
His implied suggestion that she had in some way invited the young man's attention was unfair.
"It's just a two-piece swimsuit! It's not as though I was wearing a string bikini or a thong."
"You can't go to the beach looking like a slut. It only gives these creeps ideas."
Joey's insecurity and frequent criticism began to get on Donna's nerves. What most disturbed her, however, were his sudden outbursts of temper and his uncanny ability to make every disagreement appear to be her fault. He would frequently start arguments with little or no provocation. Often during a simple discussion, he would resort to shouting and end up overturning furniture or breaking whatever objects happened to be within his reach. Donna eventually came to the conclusion that the relationship had run its course, and it was time to end it.
Unfortunately, Joey did not take the breakup well. On the contrary, he was determined to win his girlfriend back by whatever means necessary. He tried repeatedly to see her, but she avoided all his overtures. When he showed up at her house, she refused to answer the door. If she saw him on the street, she hurried past him, ignoring his entreaties. He became convinced that his only hope of winning her back was to play on the very thing that had drawn them to each other in the first place: their love of music.
It began with Donna being awakened in the middle of the night by the unrelenting ringing of her telephone. Since she did not have caller ID on her bedroom phone, she would always pick up the receiver and answer.
"Hello?"
At the other end of the line, Joey pressed the PLAY button on his tape recorder and began playing Ritchie Valens.
"I had a girl. Donna was her name. Since she left me I've never been the same 'cause I love my girl. Donna, where can you be?"
"I know it's you, Joey. You have to stop calling me. You're only wasting your time and mine. I have no intention of going back with you, no matter how many old songs you play."
Her protests were ignored, and he continued these tactics, playing sentimental old pop tunes such as Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" and the Four Seasons' "Working My Way Back to You." Rather than argue with him—which she saw as a useless endeavor—Donna countered his actions by simply hanging up the receiver as soon as she realized Joey was on the other end of the line. Still, he did not give up, so after more than two weeks of oldies by telephone, the flustered college student contacted Verizon and had her phone number changed.
Yet Joey Walters had never been one to give up on anything without a good fight. Thus, he devised a new strategy to win Donna back. One Saturday evening, his ex-girlfriend, who was working as a part-time waitress at a local Italian restaurant, was taking a customer's order when she heard, from across the room, a familiar voice singing a song.
"My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble."
When Donna looked up from her order pad, she saw her ex-boyfriend standing at the cash register, paying his check. He turned toward her and continued to sing in a mocking tone.
"Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back."
After the cashier gave Joey his change, he smiled at the pretty redheaded waitress, nodded his head in her direction in a gesture of farewell and walked out the exit into the night.
A few days later, when Donna was looking for a sociology book in the university library, Joey again turned up unexpectedly to serenade her. Standing at the opposite end of the aisle, he winked one blue eye at her and sang, in an appropriately low-volume library whisper.
"You see him comin' better cut out on the double. Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back."
When the chorus of the song came to an end, Joey once again turned and walked away without making any attempt to talk to her, either to plead with her to take him back or talk her into giving him a second chance.
Over the subsequent weeks, Joey continued to show up in various places and at random times, always singing a portion of the same song: the Angels' 1963 hit, "My Boyfriend's Back." Although he was persistent in his pursuit of her, he never openly harassed Donna. Annoying though his juvenile behavior was, she convinced herself that he was harmless. Consequently, she did not think it necessary to report him to either the local police or campus security.
Besides, she knew what a short fuse he had on his temper. If she did report him to the authorities, it might only cause further trouble. Donna could only hope that he would soon grow tired of his silly games and stop being such a nuisance.
* * *
Over the long Memorial Day weekend, Donna and several of her girlfriends decided to take advantage of the warm, sunny weather and go camping in the Berkshire Mountains. On the first day of their three-day-long trip, the girls hiked halfway up the steep trail. Hungry and tired from the strenuous exercise, they stopped at a clearing, lit a campfire and pitched their tents for the night. After dining on hot dogs, s'mores and beer, they entertained themselves with a selection of ghost stories until the fire died down.
The following morning Donna woke with a splitting headache.
"I must have drank too much beer," she said and urged her friends to continue on up the mountain without her.
Once the other girls left, she took two Advil, lay down on her sleeping bag and promptly fell back to sleep.
At first, she thought she was having a bad dream, but when she finally came out of her deep slumber, the singing continued.
"If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation. Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back."
She opened her eyes to see Joey Walters sitting on a rock, less than six feet away from her tent.
Donna was furious.
"How dare you follow me!" she screamed.
Joey was angry, too, and shouted back at her.
"Did you think you could get away from me so easily?"
"I swear if you don't leave me alone, I'll go to the police. There are laws against stalking, you know."
Once the threat had been made, their argument rapidly escalated. Joey suddenly reached out his open hand and slapped her across the face. Donna gingerly touched her stinging cheek in surprise. They had quarreled many times, but this was the first time he had ever struck her. Joey smirked at the shocked look on her face and hit her again—so hard that Donna fell to the ground, bleeding from her lip.
His anger turning to full-blown rage, he grabbed her arms, yanked her to her feet and shook her roughly, screaming, "You thought you could just break up with me, didn't you? Well, get this straight, bitch; things aren't over between us until I say they are. Got it? And as for going to the police ...."
Donna tried not to panic. She had to remain calm and think clearly if she wanted to get away from her tormentor. Her mind raced for an answer to her dilemma. By now her girlfriends were probably miles away. They would never hear her if she screamed for help. And her Subaru Forester was parked at the bottom of the mountain. Donna did not underestimate the danger she was in. She was alone in the woods with a madman. He could kill her in a fit of temper, and no one would ever know. No one.
I wish I had brought my can of mace with me, she thought.
Alas, her only weapon was her brain.
"You're right, Joey," she lied, trying to calm him with a soft, subservient attitude. "We do belong together. I was a fool to break up with you. I love you, sweetheart. Please forgive me, and let's try to work things out."
Joey let go of her, stepped back and stared at her in confusion.
Is she being sincere? he wondered. Or is this some kind of a trick?
Looking into her hypnotic green eyes and at her sweet, compassionate smile, the heartbroken singer chose to believe her words. He became instantly apologetic and affectionate. That was the reaction she had hoped for.
"Oh, baby," he said lovingly. "Things will be different between us from now on—better than ever. You'll see. I'm sorry I hit you. I won't ever hurt you again. I promise."
Donna acted quickly. She grabbed the mallet that she had used to hammer in the tent pegs the previous evening and, with all her strength, lunged at Joey, striking him squarely on the side of his head. Breathing heavily from her exertions, she swung the heavy mallet again. Joey fell to the ground, dead, and Donna tossed the bloody mallet aside. With great effort, she dragged the body to the top of a steep ravine and pushed it over the edge. Joey's body tumbled down, hitting rocks and tearing up wild plants in its descent, before finally coming to rest at the bottom.
Surprisingly, she felt no revulsion at her violent actions, no regret, and no sadness—only a profound sense of relief.
"It was either you or me," she said, knowing full well he could not hear her. "Frankly, I'm just glad it's you and not me down there."
As she leaned over the edge of the cliff and looked down at the battered, bloody corpse of her former boyfriend, she saw his lifeless blue eyes staring vacantly up at her.
"Neil Sedaka was right. Breaking up is hard to do," she declared and then, dusting herself off, walked back to the campsite.
Donna bathed in a stream and washed the blood out of her long red hair. After drying herself off, she put on a clean pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. She then burned the blood-stained pajamas in the campfire. Finally, after cleaning up all evidence of her crime, she donned her hiking boots and backpack and jogged up the mountain, meeting up with her friends on their way down.
In the weeks and months that followed Joey Walters's death, Donna kept a close eye on the local television news broadcasts as well as Lowell's daily paper, The Sun, and The Boston Globe, but there was no word concerning the discovery of the young man's body. As time went by, she became confident that no one would ever learn of his murder.
Wild animals must have eaten his remains, she hypothesized.
After eight month passed, Donna decided to put the whole horrible experience behind her. She soon started dating a computer science major, a mild-mannered, soft-spoken young man who had nothing at all in common with her passionate yet tempestuous late boyfriend. Although his unremarkable appearance did not cause her pulse to race, at least she felt safe and at ease in his company. She could not imagine a situation in which she would have to fend him off with a mallet.
* * *
When the alarm clock on the bedside table went off, filling the bedroom with music, Donna Henson woke with an uneasy feeling. She knew what day it was, and was well aware of the date's significance. It had been exactly one year earlier that Joey died. What she could not understand was why the date should bother her. In the past twelve months, she felt no remorse over her role in his death. As far as she was concerned, her ex-boyfriend got what he deserved.
Creed's "With Arms Wide Open" had come to an end, and the early morning host announced, "This is Billy Ray, your wake-up deejay, on WOAR, where the hits keep coming. After our newsbreak and traffic update, we'll have another twenty-minute nonstop, commercial-free, power play brought to you by the good folks at Lowell Subaru. But first, I have a request from one of our listeners. It's an early morning dedication going out to Donna from Joey who wishes her a happy anniversary."
The song the deejay played was Ritchie Valens's "Donna."
It had to be a weird coincidence, Donna reasoned. After all, she was not the only Donna in WOAR's listening area. And there were probably dozens if not hundreds of Josephs, many of whom must go by the nickname Joey. Just the same, Donna turned off the radio and tried to put the incident, the song and her former boyfriend out of her mind. It was important that she concentrate on her schoolwork. The end of the term was only a week away, and she desperately needed to study for exams.
For two solid hours, she reviewed her psych notes and then decided she needed a short break before tackling British literature.
A cup of strong coffee and a Hostess blueberry muffin will refresh my weary brain cells.
As she waited for the water to boil, Donna popped a Matchbox 20 CD into her stereo. But instead of Rob Thomas claiming it was 3:00 a.m. and he must be lonely, Joey Walters was singing.
"He's been gone for such a long time. Now he's back and things'll be fine. Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back."
Donna, literally trembling with fear, quickly turned off the stereo. As she did, the clock radio in the bedroom came on again.
"When you see him comin', better cut out on the double."
The frightened young woman yanked the radio's plug out of the wall. Moments later the television came on, tuned to MTV. One moment Eminem was telling everyone he was the real Slim Shady; the next, Joey appeared on the TV screen.
"You're gonna be sorry you were ever born—"
Donna screamed, grabbed her purse and car keys and ran for the door. When she got into her car, she was shaking so badly that it took her several moments to get the key in the ignition. The Forester's engine came to life, and Donna's U2 cassette began to play. As "With or Without You" blasted out of the car's stereo speakers, she sped out of the parking lot onto the highway. Her relief turned to terror as Bono's voice gave way to Joey's.
"'cause he's kinda big and he's awful strong."
In a state of near panic, Donna hit the EJECT button. With the cassette out, the car stereo defaulted to the radio.
"So look out now 'cause he's comin' after you."
She frantically pressed the POWER button and turned the radio off.
But then from the back seat, she heard, "Hey-la-day-la my boyfriend's back."
Donna looked in the rearview mirror and screamed. Joey Walters remained silent but smiled malevolently at his killer.
* * *
Officer Carson Rodecker found the wrecked Subaru the following day. The driver had apparently lost control of the vehicle, left the road and flipped over. He called for an ambulance, even though it was apparent that the sole occupant of the car—the young woman who had been driving—was already dead. As he waited for the emergency vehicles to arrive, Carson reached in through the shattered driver's window and turned off the radio that had been playing the old Angels' classic "My Boyfriend's Back."
It was only after the tow truck had driven away with the wreckage of Donna Henson's car that Officer Rodecker discovered the other body. But the second one could not have been a victim of the fatal car crash. Rodecker estimated that the young man in question had been dead for several months, possibly as long as a year.
Odd, the policeman thought, that no one had found the dead man in all that time. It was even odder that, given the body's advanced state of decay, Carson could still see the smile on the face of the corpse.
"My Boyfriend's Back" © Richard Gottehrer; words and music by Robert Feldman, Gerald Goldstein and Richard Gottehrer.
Salem didn't like being in an oldies group. He found traveling in a guitar case very uncomfortable.
