SANTA COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR
HE SUPPOSEDLY BRINGS A LOT OF STUFF
INSTEAD HE RAIDS YOUR STOCK OF BEER
AND SPITS OUT ALL HIS SNUFF
AND IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH
HE BARBECUES HIS DEER
SANTA COMES AT CHRISTMAS TIME
HE ISN'T VERY NICE
AND HIS HAIR, IT'S CAKED WITH GRIME
AND BURROWED THROUGH BY LICE
HE FILLS YOUR STOCKINGS WITH DEAD MICE
AND STEALS YOUR EVERY DIME
SANTA VISITS WHEN IT SNOWS
IT MATTERS NOT OF WHAT HE BRINGS
OR HOW YOUR CHRISTMAS GOES
WHAT MATTERS ARE ALL THE FLINGS
LIKE WHEN HE STEALS YOUR OTHER THINGS
AND URINATES ON YOUR CLOTHES
SANTA COMES FOR HIS OWN SAKE
ENJOYMENT HE FORBIDS
HE OPENS A BOX OF "SHAKE & BAKE"
AND DINES ON CRUSTY KIDS
THUS A PROBLEM THAT HE RIDS
IS A SACRIFICE TO MAKE
SANTA COMES AROUND TO STEAL
IT'S BEEN SAID HE HAS DECLARED
HE HAS WEAPONS HE CONCEALS
SANTA'S NEVER EVEN CARED
BUT CHILDREN DO NOT GET SCARED
'CAUSE SANTA ISN'T R---!
(THE LAST PHRASE MIGHT DESTROY A CHILD)
Email: rwainio@nmu.edu