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The Ad-dressing of Cats

You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter to understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you.
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names,
Our habits and habitat,
But how would you ad-dress a cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog.
And say: a cat is not a dog.
So first, your memory I'll jog.
And say: a cat is not a dog.

With cats, some say one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that.
I say you should ad-dress a cat,
But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity.
You bow, and taking off your hat, ad-dress him in this form, "O' Cat!"

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
A little token of esteem is needed like a dish of cream.
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Straussburg pie.
Some potted grouse or salmon paste.
He's sure to have his personal taste.
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him by his name.

A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this and that is that.
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.

A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this and that is that.
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.