Fin awoke with a start, jolted out of a dark dream in which she ran from a predator which stalked her ruthlessly. Wreathed in shadows and shrouded in darkness it pursued her, hidden fangs snapping at her heels. The jaws clamped shut just as her eyes snapped open, and she found herself... at home? Her mother lay beside her in their basket, carefully washing behind her ears. Seeing that her daughter was awake, Miriel stopped and peered at her. Fin was about to ask whether she had dreamt Taven's death, but the look of sadness in her mother's eyes dried the words in her throat.
"It was my fault." Fin whispered, barely able to speak.
Miriel looked alarmed and drew back slightly - was this a confession? Last night Philomena had arrived at the Tribal gathering-place in a state of near-hysteria. After much comforting she had calmed down sufficiently to tell the Tribe what had happened: that Fin had pushed Taven to his death after he told her he loved Philomena. At that point in the grim tale, Philomena had collapsed in front of the assembled cats, trembling and clutching at them, begging them to protect her from Fin, who now hated her and would surely try to hurt her. There had been a stunned silence following the accusation; Philomena had suddenly been plagued with doubt as to whether the tribe would believe the absurd story. The very idea of Fin killing Taven was ridiculous - they were inseparable, and it was common knowledge that Taven would never choose any other queen above Fin. Nevertheless, emotions are immeasurably powerful and to hear of their son's death in such a manner devastated Derufin and Rafke to such an extent that they were willing to consider anything. Fin's mother had been summoned and Philomena had led them to the wood, where they discovered the body of Taven, with Fin lying at his side.
Without a word, Derufin had picked up his son and left, followed by his mate. Miriel had been left to carry Fin home. Her daughter appeared to be asleep, and would not respond to words or nudges. Miriel had laid her in the warm basket and watched over her as she slept, only nodding in acknowledgement to the messenger who came to tell her that Fin was ordered to appear before the Tribe for judgement.
Looking at Fin now, Miriel could not believe that she would ever have deliberately harmed Taven. She spoke gently; "We have to go to the gathering-place."
"But why? It was an accident!"
Miriel took a deep breath; she would have to tell Fin what Philomena had said. "Philomena saw....It....happen, and she says.... she says it wasn't an accident."
"No!" Fin gasped, "She's a liar!"
"Yes, but we have to go now and you have to prove she's lying."
Fin nodded, still unable to believe that Philomena could be so spiteful and cruel enough to suggest that she was a murderer. She followed her mother through the cat flap in the kitchen door and together they made their way to the Gathering, which took place as always in the derelict warehouse.
The majority of the Raukur cats were already present, and a hush immediately fell as Miriel and Fin walked in. They approached the stack of wooden crates at the far end of the building where Derufin and his mate sat. From all sides, Fin could hear faint hissing as she walked past. She kept her eyes facing forward as she prepared to face judgement, determined not to show the others how scared she was.
At a signal from the Leader they stopped and the rest of the Tribe gathered around, forming a loose horseshoe shape with Fin and her mother in the centre. Miriel was directed to join the other cats, leaving Fin alone.
Her mind raced, her thoughts still reeling from the shock of yesterday's tragic events. Her life as a carefree kitten was sliding past, slipping through her claws like a pawful of sand. Nothing was certain now - already she had been branded a murderer by some; she could sense it in the hostile stares and the suspicious hisses and murmurs.
Fin looked up to where the Leaders sat. Grief was etched on their faces and the pain in their eyes tore at her heart. Derufin spoke first: "Finfiriel, daughter of Miriel?", he said, and several cats exchanged knowing looks, glancing at Fin's mother with scorn. Miriel hung her head in shame - she had mated with an unknown tom from outside the Tribe and would never be allowed to forget it. To Fin, her father was a mystery, but she was enraged at the way the others treated her mother.
Swallowing her anger, she replied simply "Yes."
The Leader continued. "You are accused of murdering my son, Taven. What have you to say to that?"
Thoughts of the previous evening flooded back, and over and over again she watched Taven tumble into the traffic, unable to stop him. "It was my fault, " she said eventually, recalling how she had unbalanced him when she struck his branch. The assembled cats gasped at this admission of guilt. Fin continued, "It wasn't on purpose - I could never hurt him! He's my best friend.... was my best friend..." Her voice shook as she corrected herself, and she stared at her paws.
She barely heard as Philomena was called forward to speak. The Persian repeated her lies, damning Fin with every word. Finally Fin could not stand it any longer. "LIAR!" she hissed, advancing on the young queen with every intention of kicking her tail into the middle of next week. Philomena began to back away but Fin lunged at her, raking her sharp claws across the Persian's face.
Pandemonium broke out as the Raukur cats rushed towards Philomena and Fin, knocking them apart. Philomena was escorted away by her family to recover, while Fin was seized and dragged roughly back before Derufin and Rafke.
"You called Philomena a liar," said Derufin, "so now tell the truth. What happened last night?"
Fin's throat tightened painfully and she just shook her head dumbly. There was utter silence for some time, then Rafke spoke, hatred poisoning her usually sweet voice. "Then it is as Philomena said - you killed our son! Your silence condemns you!"
Fin looked up again, and this time spoke clearly. "No. You have\ chosen to condemn me whatever I say. So I will say nothing, until I can find someone who will listen first and judge afterwards."
All the cats were stunned by the way she spoke to Rafke, but none more so than Fin herself. A mental cloud had drifted away, allowing her to throw aside kitten tantrums and fears and see reality for what it was: cold and unforgiving. She stood patiently, awaiting her fate to be decided.
Derufin and Rafke looked at each other and talked softly together for a while, before nodding and turning back to face the Tribe.
"Finfiriel, we find you guilty of murder. Your punishment also reflects your assault upon Philomena and the treasonous way you spoke to my mate. From this day forth you are banished from the Raukur Tribe - death is the penalty if you try to return. Go now, before I decide this punishment is too light."
Fin turned and strode away without a word. The cats closed in on either side, hurling abuse as she headed for the door and the daylight outside. Cats she had thought of as friends hissed and spat as she passed them, some even daring to claw at her.
Finally she exited the warehouse through the gap in the door and set off down the road, refusing to look back. Her mother caught up with her and they both halted, preparing to say goodbye.
"You should have named me Aranedhel." Fin said, smiling bitterly.
"The Unforgiven? I don't believe you did anything wrong."
"But everyone else does."
"In time, they'll see it differently, and regret trusting that evil little Persian. And I know you - you'll be alright, and maybe one day you'll be able to return."
"Perhaps." Fin rubbed against her mother for the last time and sighed. "Don't let them bully you. And thank you."
"What for?"
Fin shrugged. "For believing me when no one else would - and just for being my mother."
It was Miriel's turn to smile. "My pleasure."
Fin turned away and left the Raukur territory at a steady run, watched lovingly by Miriel until she diminished into a tiny grey speck and disappeared.
Fin was an outlaw, but more importantly she felt she was no longer a kitten. Her life was hers to do with as she pleased; she owed no allegiance to any Tribe now.
Her freedom had cost her everything; her home, her family, her friends. But, she reflected, as she moved swiftly away from the shattered pieces of her old life, maybe some things are worth the price
