Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were a notorious couple of cats.
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians,
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats.
They had an extensive reputation.
They made their home in Victoria Grove.
That was merely their center of operation.
For they were incurable given to rove.
If the area window was found ajar
And the basement looked like a field of war.
If a tile or two came loose on the roof
Which presently ceased to be waterproof.
If the drawers were pulled out from bedroom chests
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests.
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls . . .
Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time, they left it at that.
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had an unusual gift of gab.
They were highly efficient cat burgulars as well
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab.
They made their home in Victoria Grove.
They had no regular occupation.
They were plausible fellows who liked to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation.
When the family assembled for Sunday dinner,
Their minds made up that they wouldn't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes.
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow,
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow.
The joint has gone from the oven like that!"
Then the family would say, "It's that horrible cat! It was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time they left it at that.
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had a wonderful way
Of working together.
And some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather.
They'd go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath.
Was it Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?
When you heard a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash.
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming.
Then the family would say, "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!"
