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A Different View on Kidnapping

The rats hustled Old Deuteronomy out of the Junkyard, Macavity trailing along behind and laughing crazily, making sure to cover their tracks so the other cats couldn’t follow. Behind them they could hear the toms of the tribe rushing around, searching for them, and, distantly, a couple of the younger queens explaining to the kittens who Macavity was.

“Ha haha!” gasped Macavity, laughing, as they paused at the fence. “Oh! Oh, my! Did you see their FACES? Oh, that was just too funny!” He fell against the wooden slats, gasping for breath between giggles. The rats looked back and forth between the two cats, snickering as they hesitantly pulled the netting off the elderly cat.

“Your pardon, gov’na, if we was too rough wit you,” began the head rat, as he carefully untangled the long gray hair of Old Deuteronomy’s tail from the strands of netting. “ ‘Is Gigglingness, there, said you would unnerstand. No ‘ard feelings? We tried to be gentle.” Carefully, the rat combed out the tail and straightened the fur. “There. No muss, no fuss!” He bowed with deep respect to the old cat, then signaled to his associates to roll up the net and scatter.

Old Deuteronomy sighed as he regarded his ginger-colored grandson. “Macavity, Macavity, you fiend. I must say, you are unique among my grandchildren. You’ve probably given poor Munkustrap fits.”

“Oh, probably,“ giggled Macavity, straightening. “He always was such a stuffed shirt, anyway. Does him good. Someone has to yank his chain once in a while or he’ll get so stiff he couldn’t move!” The ginger tom moved to step through the hole in the fence, then paused and respectfully gestured for his grandfather to precede him. “After you, Granddad!”

With a long-suffering sigh, Old Deuteronomy squeezed his bulk through the fence and then waited for the ginger tom on the other side. Macavity slithered through the narrow hole and then lead the gray cat down the street to the intersection. They paused, then crossed the street, heading away from the junkyard.

“You know... I do have things to do tonight, Macavity. This joke won’t take long, will it?”

“No, sir! We’ll have you back in a jiff! Don’t you worry...AH! Tugger! There you are!” Macavity butted heads in greeting with his friend.

The tabby tom grinned at Old Deuteronomy, and bowed in greeting. “Hullo, Granddad! We sure appreciate you going along with this so nice, even though we didn’t ask.”

Old Deuteronomy sighed again. “You’d do it even if I didn’t go along. I find it is more comfortable this way.” The two younger toms grinned at each other, then shrugged at him.

“Tugger, the tea is all set up. You go ahead and take Granddad there and I’ll go back for the next part... then we can switch.” Macavity grinned again, and then turned to trot back toward the junkyard.

“This way, Granddad! We were able to get some potted grouse for you, and Macavity was even able to swipe a little Strasbourg pie! We saved it for you.” The Tugger gestured up the street. “It's just around the corner there, in the empty lot.”

Old Deuteronomy looked surprised. “Strasbourg pie? Really? Well, then!” and he hurried up the street after the tabby tom.

Back at the junkyard, Macavity was having the time of his life, pretending to be Old Deuteronomy in an old rabbit fur he’d found. And it almost worked, too! They were buying it, until that Demeter ratted on him. Munkustrap was furious. Macavity fought as long as he could, then ran, giggling the whole way as he blew every circuit in the joint and plunging the junkyard into darkness. As soon as the last light went out, he bolted for the gate, where he met the Tugger on his way in. The tabby had seen the lights go out and knew it was time for his part in the deal.

The two cats grinned as they passed, and Macavity paused long enough to ask, “You sure he knows what to do? He can pull it off?”

The Tugger strutted past, tossing a reply over his shoulder, “Oh yeah! He’s the greatest and he’s been practicing... He gets it right most of the time, now!”

“Most of the time?” giggled Macavity, but the Tugger was already out of sight. The ginger tom shrugged and trotted off to spend a few minutes with his grandfather before Old Deuteronomy had to go back to the Ball.

He found Old Deuteronomy polishing the pie plate the Strasbourg pie had come in, and carefully grooming his fur to make sure he’d gotten every crumb. “Hey, Granddad! How was the pie?”

“It was excellent, thank you. Quite fresh, too.”

“I should hope so! It was baked just this morning... I had quite the experience snitching it. But Mungojerrie helped out. He’s clever with his paws, that one is.” Macavity grinned. “You will, of course, act properly traumatized when you get back, right, Granddad? I got a reputation to uphold you know.”

Old Deuteronomy flicked an ear in amusement. “Of course you do. Don’t worry about me. Gus isn’t the only good actor in the tribe, you know. Speaking of getting back... how did you...?”

“Oh, that. Mistoffelees is gonna magic you back! He’s been practicing all week for this.”

“Mistoffelees is going to magic me back?!” Old Deuteronomy looked alarmed. “Macavity, that kitten is only just... “ The gray cat’s voice broke as he noticed his paws fading out, and his eyes grew wide. “MACAVITY!”

“Don’t worry, Granddad!” Macavity called to the disappearing cat. “Tugger says he gets it right most of the time now!”

A faint ghost of a voice drifted back to the ginger tom as Old Deuteronomy faded completely away, his huge eyes disappearing last, ”...MOST of the time!??!”

The End