Regular Insults: 


Every enemy I have met, I've annihilated
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated

You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee
I look that much like your fiancee?

Killing you would be justifiable homicide
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide

You're the ugliest monster ever created
If you don't count all the ones you've dated

I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet
when I'm done with you, you'll be a boneless filet

Would you like to be buried, or cremated?
With you around, I'd rather be fumigated

Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside

When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified
At least mine can be identified

You can't match my witty repartee
I could, if you would use some breath spray

I have never seen such clumsy swordplay
You would, but you were always running away

En Garde! Touche!
Oh, that is so cliche

Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated
Too bad they're all fabricated

I can't rest til' you've been exterminated
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated

I'll leave you devastated, mutiliated, and perforated
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated

Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
The only wat you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde

I'll hound you night and day
Then be a good dog, Sit! Stay!



Captain Rottingham's Insults 


My attacks have left entire islands depopulated
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated

You have the sex appeal of a shar-pei
I look that much like your fiancee?

Your looks would make pigs nauseated
If you don't count all the ones you dated

Nothing can stop me from blowing you away
I could, if you would use some breath spray

I have never lost a melee
You would have, but you were always running away

When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefeid
Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide

You'll find I'm dogged and relentless to my prey
Then be a good dog, sit! stay!

My skills with a sword are highly venerated
Too bad they're all fabricated

Never before have I faced someone so sissified
Is that your face? I thought it was you backside

I can't tell which of my traits have you the most intimidated
Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated


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