Should you write all or part of your own wedding service? Today the individuality of your vows is limited only by your imagination. Even those who prefer the traditional "Dearly beloved, we are gathered...," dating from Elizabethan times, may want to personalize other parts of the service with a poem or self-composed song. "I ask couples to write their own vows. It's healthy to think through the words and understand what they mean." I have ceremonies that are “standardized” and still beautiful and meaningful, There are many books available for this or you can use my web site and the links to the different parts of the ceremony to choose words appropriate to your relationship, or help get your creative juices going -- so it is only up to the two of you!
Once you've written or chosen your vows, they may be presented in several ways. Poems may be read or memorized by either the bride or groom - or as a couple. Cue cards discreetly hidden in a bouquet or Bible may be used. If the actual are slightly rephrased, the minister can ask you to repeat after him or her. Or, you may provide information or the complete text for the Officiant, a friend, or family member.
Whether you two decide to make your ceremony mostly traditional or completely original, a little forethought and creativity will make your vows personal and unique. Create a memory that you, your family and friends will cherish.
The words in your wedding ceremony publicly express how you feel about each other and marriage. For this reason, many couples choose to rewrite the ceremony so it reflects their own beliefs and feelings. Working on the ceremony together can also be a wonderful way to grow closer to each other .
The Greeting
The first words spoken during your ceremony welcome your guests and set the tone for what's to follow. A traditional greeting might begin: "We are gathered here in the presence of this company to join together Jenifer and Jason in the bonds of matrimony...." You might choose to include the story of how you met, a favorite poem or quotation, a wish to your friends and family, or a reading from a friend about love and friendship. Your Officiant might center your greeting around your philosophy of compatibility and marriage, saying something like, "Jenifer and Jason feel that their lifelong mate should be strong and independent, loving, faithful, devoted, compassionate and most of all, a best friend."
Your Vows
The promises that join you together emotionally and publicly declare your intentions to love, trust and honor. In traditional Christian weddings the bride and groom promise "to have to hold...for better or for worse..." To write your own vows, ask yourself: "What does marriage mean to me?" "Which promises are the most important to us?" Consider concepts such as love, trust, honesty, compassion, friendship, forgiveness, fidelity, faith, honor and respect. You might write something like, "I, Jenifer, take you Jason, to be my husband. I commit my life to you, embracing all joys and sorrows, all triumphs and hardships. I make this commitment in love, I keep it in faith, I live it in joy, eternally, forever more."
The Exchange of Rings
In traditional weddings, each person places the ring on the other person's finger, saying, "With this ring I thee wed." You may, however, want to express what the ring means specifically to you as a couple. While placing the ring on your partner's finger, you might say, " This ring symbolizes the unending union of my life with yours. Your dreams are now my dreams. Your hopes are my hopes. Your fears are my concerns. Your affection is my joy. Your love is my blessing."
Blessings and Readings
Perhaps include several readings in the ceremony which capture your feelings about marriage. Blessing and readings can appear almost anywhere in the ceremony, and are an effective way to involve family and friends. You can also use poems, your own thoughts and books such as The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran and Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Consult your librarian for material suitable for a wedding ceremony.
The Pronouncement
This part of the ceremony declares to your guests that you are legally married. Often the Officiant will say, "Because you, Jenifer and Jason, have consented together in this sacred commitment and have declared the same before this company of family and friends, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss!
Why choose a non-denominational wedding service?
If the bride and groom both belong to different religions, this service provides a neutral setting for the wedding. It’s a ceremony that does not sway towards any particular religion, but has a spiritual essence. The ceremony is always sweet, tender and beautiful. It is such an honor and privilege to be asked to officiate a wedding.
Where do these marriages take place?
Wherever you decide to get married, I’ll be there. I’ve officiated weddings in the canyons, backyards, parks, and reception centers. Whatever your preference is, I will accommodate your wishes.
How long is the ceremony?
It usually takes approximately 15 to 20 minutes. It all depends on what your preferences are.
What is the cost?
Since each wedding is different and has unique elements to the ceremony, the cost varies. I will quote a price after I consult with you and understand the dynamics of the wedding event.
How can I reserve a wedding date?
First contact me to find out if the date you have chosen to get married is available on my schedule. If it’s your decision to have me officiate your wedding, I require a small deposit fee to hold my services, and the remaining amount will be due prior to the wedding ceremony.
UTAH REQUIREMENTS
How do I obtain a marriage license?
Both bride and groom must appear at the Marriage License Division of the County Clerk’s Office.
Address:
2001 South State Street
Suite #S2200
Salt Lake City, Utah
Phone: (801)468-3439
Hours:
M-F 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.
There is a license fee of $50.00, and you must bring proof of age identification (valid driver’s license, birth certification, Utah identification card, passport). A license issued in Salt Lake County may be used in any county in the state of Utah and become effective immediately. The license must be used within thirty days from the date of purchase at which time the license expires. I will record the marriage license within a week of the ceremony.
MICHIGAN REQUIREMENTS
<(These are the responsibility of the Couple:)
License: The parties intending to marry must obtain a marriage license from the county clerk in the county in which one of the parties lives (or, if both parties are non-residents, in the county where the marriage is to be performed), and deliver it to the person who is to solemnize the marriage, before the marriage can be performed. MCL 551.101; MSA 25.31.
Waiting Period: The parties must wait three days after applying to receive their marriage license, which becomes void if the marriage is not per-formed within 33 days after application. The county clerk can waive the 3 day waiting period for "good and sufficient cause shown." MCL 551.103a; MSA 25.34.
HIV Counseling: Individuals applying for a marriage license must be counseled by a physician or a local health officer (or designee) regarding the prevention of veneral disease and HIV infection. Tests will be offered. If tests are taken, and come out positive, the couple will be contacted and given further counseling. The county clerk will provide the couple with a booklet about these matters and on prenatal care, which lists counseling and testing services. The couple must file with the clerk either a certificate that they received the counseling, or a written objection that such counseling violates their personal religious beliefs.
