This is a very tough one for me, personally. I know too well the pain that the ending of a marriage causes not only to the husband and wife, but even more so to the children; and the ripples of pain it causes to all that the marriage has touched -- parents, families, and friends. Unfortunately, for reasons as Dr. Laura has stated: "The Three A's - Abuse, Alcoholism, and Affair", plus other reasons we are not here to sit in judgement of, it is sometimes necessary to cut the ties of the sacred covenant.
I beseech the couple to be absolutely sure they have completely thought through ALL the ramifications of this undertaking.
To complete the relationship and end it full circle, I offer the following service:
Dearly Beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the separation of this man and this woman who have been bonded in the covenant of marriage. The courts have acknowledged their divorce and we, this day, gather to support them as they give their blessing to one another as each seek a new life.
In creation, God made the cycle of life to be birth, life, and death; and God has given us the hope of new life through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, our Savior. We recognize that relationships follow this pattern. While the couple have promised in good faith to love until parted by death, in some marriages the love between a wife ad a husband comes to an end sooner. Love dies, and when that happens we recognize that the bonds of marriage, based on love, also may be ended.
God calls us to right relationships based on love, compassion, mutuality, and justice. Whenever any of ehse elements is absent from a marital relationsip, then that partnership no long reflects the intentionality of God.
The good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is that we are forgiven our sins and our failures, we are raised from the dead and restored to a new life. The death of love, like the death of the grave, has no power to rob us of the life that is intended for the people of God.
Thus we gather this day to suport and bless _____ and _____ as they confess their brokenness, forgive one another for their transgressions, receive God's blessing, celebrate the new growth that has occurred in each of them, and make commitments for a new life.
Officiant to the Man:_____, do you enter into this parting of your own free will; do you confess before God, and _____, that you repent your brokenness that kept you in a destructive relationship? Do you seek forgiveness for the mutual respect and justice that you have failed to give and set your spouse free of this relationship, that you and she may receive from God and from one another the gift of new life and move toward health and wholeness once again?
Man:I do.
Officiant to the Woman:_____, do you enter into this parting of your own free will; do you confess before God, and _____, that you repent your brokenness that kept you in a destructive relationship? Do you seek forgiveness for the mutual respect and justice that you have failed to give and set your spouse free of this relationship, that you and he may receive from God and from one another the gift of new life and move toward health and wholeness once again?
Woman:I do.
Officiant:The Lord be with you.
People:And also with you.
Officiant:Let us pray.
Oh Gracious and ever-living God, you have created us male and female in your image; Look mercifully upon _____ and _____, who come to you seeking Your blessing. Forgive them for forsaking their vows, and for the pain that they have caused one another. Restore each of them by your grace to a new life of hope, renewal, and growth , and keep them ever in the love of your mercy, through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.
The man faces the woman, takes her right hand, and says:
In the name of God, I, _____, release you, _____, from your vow to be my wife. I thank you for the love and support you have given me. I ask your forgiveness for my part in the failure of our marriage.
The woman faces the man, takes his right hand, and says:
In the name of God, I, _____, release you, _____, from your vow to be my husband. I thank you for the love and support you have given me. I ask your forgiveness for my part in the failure of our marriage.
The Officiant asks each in turn to return their rings:
_____, I give you this ring, which you gave me as a symbol of our marriage. In returning it, I set you free. I pray you will find peace and joy in your new life.
The rings are given to the Officiant, who holds them cupped in both of the Officiant's hands and says:
I bless these rings to symbolize that your lives are lived in the mercy and love of God.
O God in heaven,
You who are Mother and Father
to us all,
Holy is your name.
Your reign has come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in haven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sin
as we forgive those
who sin against us.
Deliver us from evil.
Save us from the time of trial.
For all time and all space,
all power and all glory are yours;
now and forever.
Amen.
Let us pray.
Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation and giver of grace: Look with favor upon the world you have made and for which your Son gave his life, and especially upon _____ and _____, who come to you seeking Your blessing. Grant unto them grace in moving from the old ways and wisdom in the ordering of their new lives. Amen.
Grant that each may know the power of Your love to transform death into life and to bring forth the discovery of new identity out of pain. Teach them to trust once again and restore their hope, that once more they may view the world through love-filled eyes. Amen.
Bestow on them your Spirit, that _____ and _____ may be guided and sustained by you in the choices they individually make. Inspire the service they offer to the world that it may be distinguished by compassion for all. By Your grace, may each beome a witness to Your forgiving and healing love as they reach out to care fo the needs of others. Amen.
Make their individual lives a sign of Christ's love to this sinful and broken world, that forgiveness may heal guilt, joy cvonquer despair, and trust be forever placed in you. Amen.
The man and woman kneal
Defend _____ and _____ from every enemy. Lead them both into all peace, to a renewal of life, and the hope of wholeness and love. Bless them in their separate lives, in their work, in their rest, and in their play, in their joys and in their sorrows, in their life and in their death.
The Blessing of God whose beath gives life
be with you always.
The blessing of God whose
love is forgiving
set you free from guilt and despair.
The blessing of God
who sanctifies your living
be with you this day,
to lead you to a new life
of hope, peace, love, and service.
May God be praised and glorified through your lives,
now and forever. Amen.
