"I am really discontened with you, girls." Dominatrix Prodana Pornova, rector of the Progressive Initial Sexual Instruction Academy - P.I.S.I.A., sank back in her arm-chair, gazing with strictness at the disobedient students.
The girls were obviously embarrassed. Ulyana, a red-haired Ukrainian, was as usually sweeping her beautiful emerald-coloured eyes from side to side. The look of the big black eyes of the other girl, a Yugoslav named Biljana, was wondering from the ceiling to the floor and back. Her pale face had an expression of a torment in it.
"What do you suggest that I do about you? You could have become the pride of our Academy; and instead, I will have to give you to the pimps! You shall be nothing more than street prostitutes! Is THAT what you want? In that case I wash my hands! I'm immediately sighing the order concerning your expulsion from the Academy - it is lying on the table right in front of me."
The girls cried. "Please, please forgive us, Miss Prodana, we promise we'll never do it again. Don't give us to the pimps! We beg you!" The dominatrix's steel-cold eyes fixed on Biljana. "You - you ought to be grateful me, after all you have been through back home. Or maybe you actually like violence?" Ms Pornova mechanically gripped a small whip in her strong hand.
In a cabinet with stuffed leathery furniture, a quiet song by Bought in the Act, a popular teenage sex band, was heard from a stereo.
"And you, Ulyana? You I caught in the act of skipping the compulsory NuDisco last night."
"Dear Ms Prodana, they're playing AIDS AT 17 there all the time, I hate this kind of music!"
"You hate this wonderful band? Hmm.. sounds rather strange. Is it that you consider becoming a nun? By the way, just talking about nuns - I have almost forgotten to tell you I am going to place you in a monastery, ha ha ha."
The girls glanced at each other happily.
"Oh, really? I mean, we can become good nuns if it is needed."
"Do not lose your head, my dear daughters, ha ha. I only mean Paradise, which is in the monastery building. This night club was famous because of its unique special effect - a hologram of a dancing ghost. Unfortunately, it has recently broken down, nobody knows why. So the popularity and incomes are are falling rapidly. The desperate owner of the club called me yesterday saying he needs genuinely professional go-go dancers. Naked ghosts or something like that. I have browsed through the database and it says there you both used to do some ballet."
"Go-go's? Naked ghost!?" Biljana was completely terrified.
"For Christ's sake, you're boring me! Yes, naked ghosts, so what? The owners are thoroughly cultured people, decent by nature. Vegetarians, pacifists, animal rights activits, and so on. They would never consent to anything of that sort! You understand, my dear daughters, ha ha ha." Ms Pornova made a strict face while snapping around with her whip. "And now carry on with your studies."
As the girls were quitting Prodana's luxury cabinet they bumped into a dye-haired curly blonde with thick lips, who had been listening at the door. This was Katka - a native of the place, a distinct student of the whole Academy, and a favourite of the rector.
"Spying again, Katka? Wonder to whom you're reporting this time. The guy who owns the castle? Or maybe Otari himself?"
Katka laughed merrily. "Come on, I've just been waiting for you. Just wanted to calm you, or something. That old bitch Pornova got you crying! She's pathetic. Was she threatening you? Like she's gonna sell you to the pimps, like Maria? Or else whip you to death, like Natasha?"
Ulyana gave Biljana a sideways glance and put her finger on her mouth. Everybody knew Katka was the Prodana's main informer.
The girls ran along the never-ending corridors of the Skrztvrz Castle, bestrewn with soft carpets, with old oil paintings on the walls and ancient statues in the niches.
"Oh, hang on, I believe that Diana thing over there had her head in place yesterday. And her hands, too! Now she looks like the Venus of Milos!" wondered Biljana, a very educated girl.
"Bah, every girl here is a Venus, we don't need no heads. But we do need hands, don't we?" laughed Katka.
From around the corner walked up a drunk watchman, whose name was Scvrnkl. He had dubbed himself the Academic Sentinel, and with this title proudly presented himself in the nearby pubs.
"Excuse me, Mr Scvrnkl, may I ask you something? What's happened to the head and the hands of these statues, why are they all gone? Oh, what is that you've got in your hand? A piece of a painting! This must be the head of Prince Myshkovicz from an eighteenth- century painting!"
Scvrnkl, face gone bright-red, hid the roughly cut out piece behind his back.
"It's all Lolitas' pranks. There's only six of them, but they are as devastating as a swarm of locust! I bet if it hadn't been for me they would have taken the whole castle apart into bricks, or something. See now how difficult it is to do this kind of a job? I am worth at least twice as much as they pay me!"
The Lolitas were the students in the preliminary faculty, ENCORE. They were volunteered throgh the popular teenage magazine, Encore. The person in charge of the Petting section, Dr, Strcprst, had been appoined dean of the faculty, which was under top secret. The students had numbers instead of names, that is, Lolita 1, Lolita 2. and so on, up to six. The Lolitas lived in a little tower, surrounded by a trench filled with water. The tower and the rest of the castle were connected by an uplight bridge. Same it was with the Gayzone, and the Marquis de Sade faculty. In the fourth tower lived Dominatrix Prodana. The Skrztvrz castle in the whole was split apart into two separate worlds. In the representative part, with the luxury parlours, high guests were received. Many of them, however, preferred the privacy of the modest little towers. The other part of the castle belonged to the Academy itself, where future missionaries from all over the world were instructed.
It was nearly the end of the literature lesson. The teacher MR Pakosta questiened: "...and so we have only one question left to answer. This is but a fundamental one. In the story by our talented writer Kakoun that we have been considering, why did Captain Prdelinka's - ehm - organ rot? Bara - "
"Humbly report, Mr Pakosta, could it be because the Captain had been sailing too long?"
"Pooh, Bara, what a vulgar interpretation! Moreover, it seems to me that you have not red the text at all. I am really worried about your mid-term grade. The NuDisco is, no doubt, a very enjoyable and wholesome activity, but please understand, your education is also very important, you just cannot go without the knowledge of classical belletry!"
At that moment Ulyana, Biljana and Katka came in. Animation sparked the permanently bored class at once.
"Quiet! Sit down, girls, I repeat the question -"
Katka raised her hand, decorated with six diamond rings.
"Humbly report, Mr Pakosta, it was because the errand-boy showed it for money in all the pubs downtown. As a result the unique national treasure, Captain Prdelinka's enormous penis, started to decompose and thus became unsuitable for conserving in a spirituous solution in the anatomic laboratory,"
"Brilliant, my goldie! Precise and to the point, if somewhat explicit. This is the end of the lesson. And now - five minutes of erotobics, with a song by Drop That!" He giggled smuttily.
In the evening Ulyana and Biljana were taken away to the night club Paradise. Driving down a wide alley with lime-trees along- sides, they saw Mr Scvrnkl the Sentinel, who was riding his bike along, red-faced with heavy effort. The bike was pulling a trailer covered by a canvas sheet. In a corner the covering unfolded, opening up a heap of old red bricks, and somebody's marble-white hand.
The girls glanced at each other and shrugged their shoulders confusedly. But before any of them said a word on the subject, their attention was distracted by a cavalcade of black limousines of horizon-overreaching dimensions. The Lincolns, Cadillacs and Mercedes 600 had dark bulletproof windows. A ram was tied to the roof of one of the Lincolns; it was blubbering desperately.
"It's Otari!" exclaimed Biljana. "There's going to be a reception. Some renowned Italian, Don F.X., is arriving, and they'll butcher the ram in his honour. It's a custom of Atari's nation. I think we're lucky we're away."
"But Katka's gonna love it," remarked Ulyana. "She's dying to overtake Prodana's position, meanwhile Otari's got a taste for blondes..."
Mr Scvrnkl the Sentinel was also timely aware of the cavalcade. He crawled into the thicket, with his bike on his back. The trailer tipped out and the red bricks scattered all over the place. Mr Scvrnkl was collecting them in a hurry, and throwing them into the thicket one by one.
"Listen up, Ulyana, did you notice that our castle had had five towers, not four, a year ago?" Biljana asked, in a pensive voice.
Ulyana stunned, mouth open, staring her eyes.
In the Paradise club the girls were bitterly surprised. The owners were gone abroad to buy a new special effect; meanwhile the vegetarian chief cook, Darko, who ran the club in their absence together with his sister Jasmina, demanded pleasing the guests.
"They want fresh meat," he insisted.
Ulyana was the first to give in.
"OK fine, just get off of me, God damn you."
Biljana was refusing flatly, despite all persuasians and promises to raise the fee.
Raging, the chief cook hurled into the changing room where both girls were getting ready for performance.
"Where is the stubborn bitch?" he yelled.
Bilyana saw his reflection in the mirror and shouted out desperately, "Help!! It's him, Darko, Darko Blazevic! He killed my father and raped me..." her voice broke off abruptly, and she fainted into an arm-chair. Ulyana started towards her but Darko, pale with horror, pushed her aside roughly.
"You squeak and you're dead, see?"
The chief vegetarian cook grabbed the unconscious Biljana and dragged her to the kitchen, Ulyana cried out and shut her mouth with both hands.
She danced alone all night long. Standing on a cuboid illuminated from under, she was watching the raving crowd below, trying to find Biljana and Darko.
In the morning she managed to steal into the kitchen. Thewe was nobody in there. A broken jar of cherry jam was lying on the floor. Some toasts, and a huge knife for cutting bread, were floating in a little red puddle.
Biljana had disappeared. Ulyana returned to the Academy and was living under constant fear. Dominatrix Prodana did not a single question, but Katka kept an eye on the girl all the time.
The present owner of the castle, Mr Brzobohaty, came from abroad on a short visit. He had bought the Skrztvrz from the senile family of the Princes Myshkovicz, who had beggard themselves completely so when they retieved their ancient residence it was too late already. When celling the castle to Mr Brzobohaty they had reserved themselves a right to lodge in the Marquis de Sade faculty for the rest of their lives. From there, their mindlessly blissful screams could be heard day and night.
In the tower just opposite, the owner of the castle played at full volume the new Backside Boys' single. The bridge to the Gayzone had been burnt - this was the owner's custom. It was only after Mr Brzobohaty had left the bridge was restored.
The Lolitas, neglected and uncared-for except by Mr Scvrnkl, were accurately and diligently dismantling the castle brick by brick under his guidance.
Day after day the Skrztvrz Castle was vanishing. First volatilized the high wall surrounding it. Then it was as if a curtain was drawn that gradually disclosed the parlours in the representative area. Mr Scvrnkl propelled his bike to and fro without pause.
Enchanted by the visions emerging, local people bivouacked on a medow in front of the Castle. Work was ultimately dismissed and forgotten. During daytime, the spectators slept, spread in disorder all over the place; in the night, they watched, with admiration, the orgies of mighty Otari.
Sometimes what was left after a banquet was thrown out of a window to the crowd underneath. The population had their own supply of beer, In order to finance it, beerscouts earned cash by selling entrance tickets to the castle territory. Any currency was accepted.
The classes of P.I.S.I.A. were held in the open air, since the roofs and walls were vanishing. Freezing, the girls squeaked. Only applied maths with Professor Zakolik warmed them up.
Ulyana woke up to the rain which was drenching her bed. She wiped her eyes sleepily - indeed, a wall was missing. "These hard-working bees, the Lolitas, will soon destroy everything at all in here. What will we have to do in winter? And Prodana - why is it that she does not care at all?"
Most of the time Ms Pornova spent solutary in her half- dismantled tower where she was scourging herself while Katka, her deputy, was running the current affairs. Katka's room, as thogh by wizardry, remained virginly untouched.
Otari's cavalcade, with rams on car roofs, now emerged from beyond the horizon every evening. At the sight of it Mr Scvrnkl always crept away into the thicket, with his old bike on his back.
Once Otari stepped out of his Lincoln. The tall, hardy-looking man in a red coat, surrounded by armed bodyguards, approached the abandonned trailer. At his nod one of the bodyguards unfolded the canvas covering very carefully. Luckily for Mr Scvrnkl, the bricks got shattered by the fall so they pressed down the scraps of antique paintings and the marble chips from statues. Otari shrugged his shoulders contemptuously.
"Strange folk. How much do they love junk!" said Otari.
"Some say it's because they save on everything," laughed one of his thugs.
In the burst of laughter that followed drowned a sound which resemled a machine-gun . Mr Scvrnkl fouled himself in the thicket with great rumble.
Once, watching the night crowd, Ulyana saw in the glow of the campfire the dreadfully familiar face of Darko Blazevic.
"They killed Biljana, and now they've come to get me. I am the only witness. I have to get away from here!"
She had one more reason for fleeing; one of Otari's thugs had taken a fancy for her, and followed her all the time. Katka flatly demanded Ulyana's presence in the parlours.
"There are only chemical blondes left in the castle! Your red shags and green optic would bfing a pleasant variance. You are coming this evening, or else... you know what."
Ulyana escaped that evening. She moved swiftly along the edge of the broad lime-tree valley. Her clothes were in no way different to the sexy dresses of the females from the neighbourhood. Some of them wore imitations of the P.I.S.I.A. uniform, thus earning hard currency from unsuspicious foreigners, to which they presented themselves as graduates.
In the distance appeared Otari's Lincoln. Ulyana hid herself in the thicket, where Mr Scvrnkl was moaning. This time he had managed to drag the whole trailer inti the hedge, but the bricks had scattered again and covered him up. Ulyana helped him out; Mr Scvrnkl the Sentinel caught his breath and uttered, in a waek voice, "Thank you, girlie. You've saved me, I'll never forget that! You are getting away from Katka, aren't you?"
"Oh please, just don't betray me! And so I won't. If you only told me why -"
"Why am I taking Skrztvrz apart into bricks? OK, if you want to know - I am fighting the foreign mafia."
"Otari? But he's get heaps of castles!" wondered Ulyana.
"So what?" puffed the Sentinel "Let him have at least one down - I don't want much. Bastards, damn'em all, bought the whole thing in here and now a true-born citizen has nowhere to go for a beer!"
"And what do you do with these bits and pieces?"
"I give'em to me kinsfolk, they live right beyond the boundary. First we stick the bits together, and then sell the stuff at the market! That'a a good bargain - the family is satisfied, me satisfied too: they got money, I got money and delight."
"And the Lolitas are helping you?"
"Yeah. No-one bloody cares about them anyway, so I thought some outdoors labour would be healthy for them. And they love it - they say they wanna go study gardening and building.
"And what do you need the bricks for?" went on Ulyana.
"Why, we're building a new cowshed,"
The Sentinel and Ulyana were just about to leave their hideway when suddenly they saw the never-ending line of white Lincolns, Cadillacs and Mercedes 600, of horizon-overreaching dimensions.
They were rolling down the valley, rugged with bazookas. Soon fire broke out on the castle territory; Stinger rockets howled in the air; the wounded were shrieking.
"Oh my, the Russians are coming! Two mafias clashed! Fallen out on spheres of influence, again. Alas, me business is all over. Now they'll smash the whole thing into pieces, like the Kostohryzy Castle where I had been a gardener. Now I gotta go find a new castle to stay!"
There was indeed a real battle raging on around Skrztvrz. Local dwellers were crawling away for their lives, squealing loudly. The towers remaining after Scvrnkl's deconstruction were brought down by missiles and Stingers. Otari's Lincoln was blown into pieces; there were rumours later that he himself was rescued and fled with Katka.
What was left of the Skrztvrz Castle was a mere fundament filled with water in which floated the corpses of Dominatrix Prodana, the Princes Myshkovicz. The white Lincolns, Cadillacs and Mercedes, with spots from smoke and ashes, crawled towards the horizon victoriously.
The road was free now. Ulyana rose to her feet and ran down the alley quickly. A brick thrown by Mr Scvrnkl whizzed behind her like a little missile.