A FATHER'S STORYI am just putting a few words down as the father of a daughter who has anorexia nervosa. I hope that God will use these words to help others. I am writing this from what I observed and it is difficult to just say black and white what happened. It is a very complex issue with many factors involved.
I will call my daughter Jill just to hide her identity.
About three years ago when my daughter was 13 years old and starting high school she became very sad and lonely. We did not realise it until too late but she lost her friends to different schools and some children were teasing her at school.
She did not tell us but was deeply disturbed inside. She could not face life and started limiting her eating. In a way some how she thought to control something in her life. Her weight dropped so low and her vital signs were bad.
Finally she was admitted to hospital where she spent about two years of the next two and a half years. We had her home off and on trying to get her to eat in the home situation but it did not work. She just would not respond to all our love and talk and concern. She changed so much in this time from being shy to very out-spoken. We found this to be a good change because she finally began expressing herself to us. Even though it was hurtful to us what she said, we knew it was a step in the right direction.
All through this time we prayed and pleaded to God to help her but it just seemed to get worse. But we never lost faith and believed that satan would be defeated in this situation in the end. In time of trial God uses this to teach us and make us grow in the faith. And this is just what happened.
Time was tough for her and us. She tried cutting herself in hospital and ran away seven times. I did not know what to do, looking around the city trying to find my lost daughter. I just cried out to God for her safety and each time I found her safe – Praise God!
Things were bad. Our marriage was suffering because we were so tired and stressed. There was little time for each other or the other children. 100% of our time was devoted to Jill. It had consumed us as well totally and we dropped out of all ministries at church.
Satan seemed to be winning but we knew God would bring us through. We believed that God would make a way where there seemed to be no way.
We finally were directed to a Christian psychiatrist who helped us a lot. We – I should say my wife and me. Jill did not respond to his talking and would not believe him. This man talked about spiritual warfare and confirmed it by the Bible. God was telling us something here. I realised that as head of my family I had authority over this problem using the power of the Holy Spirit.
We identified the problem to be the Jezebel Spirit. I grew in the Lord from then on and prayed and rebuked that spirit and took authority in the name of Jesus Christ. At that same time a group of people from church met every week to pray and rebuke the spirit.
We finally had a break through. Jill started to respond and started trying at least. We told her what we were doing but she did not believe it. Her eyes had been blinded by satan.
But there were more problems. The hospital would not discharge her and were forcing her weight up beyond what was reasonable. We felt a heavy spirit over the ward she was in. Especially the head psychiatrist – he was very mean to Jill and to us. We were accused of negligence and child abuse and several times he threatened to get the police to force us to bring her back to hospital.
We were convinced that Jill would now try to eat enough to maintain her weight but we could not get out of the hospital's grip. At first we needed the help of medical professionals for her physical well being. We are now aware that the hospital system had no answer for her emotional and psychological confusion. Now we wanted a chance to try further recovery in our home environment.
Again we cried out to God. I have a men's Bible study group on Wednesday nights at my place. That night we prayed for hours binding the powers of this head psychiatrist at the hospital that he would release her.
The next day we had to take her back for a check. We were so praising God when this man said, “You can take her home.” (Praise God!)
That was six months ago now and praise God she is still well, out of hospital and maintaining her weight.
It is still a struggle. She is still counting every calorie but is coping and starting to get back into life, back at school and making new friends.
I think it was a combination of a lot of things – her getting older and maturing a bit; - her being so low and desperate in the hospital that she had to get out and stay out and the only way was to maintain her weight. But I know God was in control all the time and it was God's timing.
We needed to learn how to pray effectively and I needed to take up my spiritual responsibility as head of my family.
There is a long way yet to go but every day now there seems to be a little improvement and now Jill is encouraging other girls with anorexia to try to eat. She says, “If I can do it so can you.” (Praise God!)
I must add a little note to the parents. Please do not feel condemned about this. It was not your fault. A lot of people tried to put the heavy on us and ask us what we had done wrong to her. If you are a loving family do not take this from people who do not know the facts of anorexia. Please stand upright and proud of the way you brought up your child. Satan will try to pull you down as well.
Parents, friends and God's love is what Jill needed to get out of this. And people who will never give up on her and be with her in the hard times and the good.
I hope this little story will encourage and help parents and children who suffer anorexia. I know the Lord loves you. Just be patient of His timing. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
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