You probably thought I was going to mention how rude the French are, how dirty the country is, how ugly the women tend to be, or how their soccer team has dominated the world, a position that should only be held by Germany. These are all valid reasons to hate France, but none of which will be addressed here.
No, the reason France sucks is because it has been so unkind to Michael Schumacher. Such a kind, gentle soul, good-natured, generous, giving. What has he done to deserve such treatment? It was here last year that a fateful shunt cost him an easy championship. This year it is the French Grand Prix that costs him a virtually guaranteed championship. The result? Instead of being able to sleep in every other Saturday and Sunday the rest of the summer, now I have to pull my sorry ass out of bed at the crack of dawn to watch racing. Doesn't Bernie Ecclestone understand the concept of "short attention span"? Heck, I'm ready for the WRC series to start already!
Okay, in all seriousness, I think we all know what happened at Magny-Cours. When David Coulthard passed Schmacher, he wasn't flipping off the former world champion. Instead, DC had carefully extracted a large booger from his nose, and was flicking it towards the Ferrari's air intake. The booger lodged itself inside and caused enough of a reduction in cooling performance that the stricken Ferrari eventually overheated.
I'm getting tired of McLaren's tactics. I think Michael should change his careful, polite driving style to something more aggressive and unforgiving.
