Do You Hear What I Hear?

December 1, 2001

Today my son said those words I thought I would hear some day: "Don't answer the phone: my girlfriend is going to call me."
I was cool. Cool as a cucumber---under the hot summer sun before it has been picked!! It feels so weird. Hearing him say "my girlfriend."

He is only twelve years old. Seventh grade. Yet, I had my first "real boyfriend" in 7th grade. Real, meaning the first guy I French kissed. And it was nice. His name was Reid Shook. He was and still is, a great and good looking guy. He is married to a beautiful woman, who I knew in middle school, and has three kids. But he was MY first kiss and I was his. I still see him at class reunions. He is still a nice guy. I liked him because I was impressed that he had a checkbook at twelve, for his paper route. And he had curly hair.

I hope this girl remembers my son as being "a nice guy." My boy is so SWEET. He is huggable and snuggles with me, and yet he is rough and tough and competitive. He looks so big in his football uniform, and moves with skill and grace on the basketball court. He is a great athlete, a nice kid, an A-B student, and he has really nice friends. I mean really nice. His two best buds live in the neighborhood and come over every day after school. They drink all the soda pop, eat cookies or chips, and play sports or video games until dinner, then go home. Even when it is Zack's night to cook dinner-one night a week, when mom works late- his buds help him make chili or spaghetti or even steak and salad. Damn, those boys are going to learn to cook, thanks to my bravery in the kitchen.

I think the girl's name is Kelly. Now, I know it is not Zack's first kiss, because last year on the big school field trip, Zack got caught kissing in a game of Truth or Dare and got an afterschool detention. Zack's first line of defense was: "Don't worry, mom, I asked the girls if it was OK to kiss them first!" (He has been listening to my Sex Therapist parental warnings about sexual harassment) "How many girls did you kiss in this game of Truth or Dare (the standard back of the bus game that the cool kids play)?"

"Well, about 10, because one girl said no."

Ohmigod!!! My kid kissed 10 girls in ONE DAY!! I think that is as many as I kissed in middle school and high school (well, maybe not high school).
"Well, they weren't all French kisses, Mom: only two of them. The rest were just pecks on the lips." Whew!! Only two French kisses: just an average day of Truth or Dare.

So, Zack is on the phone with his new girlfriend, telling me about as casual as possible that he'll be busy for a few minutes (its been 45 so far). And I acted as casually as possible, too. I didn't ask a whole bunch of questions, like: "What is her full name? Where does she live? Are her parents married, divorced, single, remarried, or gay? What do her parents do for a living? Is she nice? What did she get on her last report card? What sports does she play? Does she have breasts yet?" Ok, ok... I'm getting carried away here. I don't want to scare him away from really talking to me about any future girlfriends, when things start getting serious.

But I didn't get carried away.

I just said: "OK."